Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

Originally posted by fadedface

Its also very telling the way women term man such as myself 'scary' or 'freaky' because we're quiet and passive. Women only consider confident and competitive men to be normal and any male who deviates from this is either ridiculed or marginalised by women.

Also what I'm pointing out is simply the truth when it comes to procreation women will always be attracted to the alpha male it is irrelevant to them if the male is a good person or not so long as he has the necessary genes required for procreation.

The way natural selection determines which men women chose for procreation is actually quite 'scary' and unsettling and reminiscent of the way the Nazis ideology paired the fittest and strongest people together.I've always thought women are social Nazis in that they are very social darwinistic.

Following this thread, I've often just not been sure what to say. I thought about it over night, and say this:

I am sorry.

No, not that you cant appear to get a date. Refusal to put yourself out there in the dating world is only an attempt to validate what appears to be hatred born from one mothers choices and possible feelings concerning them. She made mistakes in her youth and finds her child is unable to forgive her for them.

"I am sorry."

This is what I would say to my child:

"First I am sorry for your pain - it was great, and never once your fault. You recognise that which is good.

While I am sorry for that, I am also sorry for my choices. I was young, and ignorant. I saw the big scary world and knew instinctively I and my children would need protection from the bad things which roam around in it.

I was ignorant and saw something which appeared to my young eyes as strength and thought we would be well protected from those bad things only to wake up one day and realize we needed protection from the one who was supposed to be protecting us. I was scared and frightened then, and did not know exactly what to do...

so I did my very best, I tried and failed to protect you from what I should have been able to protect you from.

I am sorry. I learned though, in the hardest way... this is why I am married to a wonderful man now, I learned how to see into the hearts of men, and saw what was really in them. Yes, it took me a long time sweetheart, and I am sorry... I am sorry I couldnt protect us all, I am sorry I was ignorant...

I love you, and tried from the very beginning to give you the best. I wish life was not so hard, I wish I had made the right choices when I was young, and I wish you had never been hurt. I love you.

But life is what we make it, and we spend that life learning from our own mistakes. It is good to acknowledge what you are."

Thats what I would say to my own children if they were having the same problems as the OP.

To that, for this thread, I can only add this: Violence CAN beget violence you are correct, but you mistakenly think it is genetic when it is not, it breeds what it sees... violence is not born that way, it is created through violence. Those who faced violence are not genetically dangerous, they can be dangerous because of that hatred inside which lives and breathes in hate for others' ignorance in their youth and the pain that ignorance caused.

Mothers don't intend to bring their children pain, they meant only to protect them. It's sad, but sometimes they can't provide that when the child needs it the most, because of their own confusion at waking up trapped in a situation that was not supposed to be.

But the other side of the coin is this - violence does not have to breed violence. We become the thing we feed. If we feed the hate, we become violent, if we feed the truth - we become that truth. And the truth is women and children need protection from those big bad things in the world, not from themselves although sometimes it may appear that way.

My son, who faced violence, is a fierce protector of the innocent women and children he comes across because he recognises the truth, that the innocent and weak need protection from those who seek their harm. He loves, because he has love to offer; he forgives, because forgiveness is the greatest thing and he recognises that his mother loved him and tried her very best...

Adversity is our fire. How we deal with that adversity, whenther or not we can overcome that adversity, is what shapes us as human beings. If you want to change the world it starts by changing yourself. You cannot ever become that thing you hate and expect it to somehow change the world. All you can do is change yourself for the better, and when others see that they want to be like you. That's how you change the world, and those around you - through positive action, not through hate. hate is never the answer.

The First Day

Originally posted by TheStonerMessiah

CONFIDENCE IS EVERYTHING. I've heard the "Nice Guys finish last" excuse 100 times before. Lets be honest here. 3/4 of the time, the alphamale gets the girl because he has the confidence to ask the girl out long before a shy guy works up the nerve to even consider it.

The solution is relatively simple. If you like a girl just suck it up and ask her out. You've got a 50/50 shot, if you keep playing the odds, you'll eventually win.

Honestly nice guys do not finish last. However this belief gets thrown around alot by needy doormat type men, that mistake their neediness for being nice. My husband was the guy that got bullied and beaten up in school, quiet, socially awkward and didn't find out just what a gem he truly was until well after high school. Once he learned one thing and one thing only did he start getting dates. And by that time he was the one that was selective. The only thing he needed to learn was to be happy being himself. He didn't have to stop liking or doing the things he loves to do, he learned to use them in a conversation.

He is the most generous, observant, thoughtful and kindest man I have ever met. I hate to tell you it isn't women that is your problem. Your problem is you.

The problem is, instead of acting, you are being acted upon. And you seem to think that being acted upon is how the universe operates. No, one must act.

Its not true that women go for bad boys. Its a TV plot for a bad sitcom perhaps but the truth is women want men who are reliable, employable, non violent. Why do you think that boys with cute faces are always getting girls crushing on them. Their softer features give them a slightly feminine look which girls find very non threatening. Women may think that the look of a bad boy is sexy but when it comes down to choosing a mate ,a husband, this is not what they want any more than a man wants a slut. Those archetypes are good for movies and books but in the real world women want stability.

I wouldn't say that women love a bully, but they definitely do 100% love the 'bad boy' image. But the bit that confuses me, and as someone who has been on many 'dating' sites, is that nearly every female profile you read on dating sites basically have the same thing written on them............."just looking for an honest guy with a good heart", yet it's always the bad boys that get the attractive girls, even though most women know it will end in tears, but they want to have all the fun that the bad boy can bring until the tears start flowing, and then complain about how they were treated and trot out the line "how could he do this to me". Well you helped contribute to it and therefore helped to do it to yourself. After he has gotten rid of you, the bad boy doesn't care about you or your hurt feelings. REMEMBER THIS !

A bad boy, by definition, will give you a good time, but as soon as he's had enough of you he will move on to another woman to start the "fun" all over again. That's why he's a bad boy, he's a womaniser, usually sexist, yet always has an attractive girl on his arm. Yet the good guys get taught to treat a woman with respect, yet spend most nights alone ?

I'm not defending the 'bad boy', but WHY do so many women keep falling for this when the results are always the same in the end ? Remember a definition of insanity, "to make the same mistakes over and over again, but expect a different outcome each time".

The only logical explanation I can give is that some women honestly think that they can contain, or control the bad boy, or tame him if you will. But if he is classed as a 'bad boy', then that pretty much means he can't be tamed. And most bad boys either end up in jail, or are constantly looking over their shoulders hoping their previous ways don't come back at them.

Unfortunately, life isn't a Hollywood movie wear the average guy gets the stunning woman in the end. And the bad boy act is exactly that, an act, but when the act keeps getting women lining up for their turn, then the act, and the actors [bad boys] will continue to do it, and many women will continue to fall for it. Falling for the bad boy will always end in tears, if you don't want those tears, then why are you falling for the bad boy ?

Woah, few awares in here. Alpha males master race checking in.

reply to post by Malynn


Well done.

Again.How a guy can be a Bootyslayer in the dating world.
Here are behaviors you should convey when meeting and getting to know a girl or a woman.

1. Be comfortable in your own skin.Don't choke on your flaws.

2.Make her laugh...but not AT you.There is a thick line between funny and charming and a goofy fool.Know the difference.

3.Be nice, but cool nice...don't be a servant...or you'll be a servant.

4.Say no, when the voice inside your head tells you to. She wants to know you have self control and will loose interest if she can make you do anything she wants.

5.Be interested in your own life.If you come off too strong that suddenly makes her feel like she's the entire focus of your world she's going to be uncomfortable...and can you blame her?

6. This is the hardest one. Being her friend without it compromising her romantic feelings for you.If you do the above correctly..this should go well.She wants to know she's going to be valued...there's a subtle art to this.

7. Treat her with respect...ALWAYS, but tease her a little..this also takes skill.

This is to the guy that thinks alpha males get all the glory.You have to try.You can put on a ninja outfit but your your not a ninja.If you want it, get off the computer and get out there and swing the bat and learn how to do it.If your going to fold up and go urinate in the corner like a whipped dog after your first no,girls are not for you...they will eat your heart in front of you and spit the pieces in your face.It's up to you...not them.If you take whatever falls in your lap,then don't bitch about what you get.Man up.

Intelligence, humor, caring, mystery, integrity. I'm a "beta" male by history, but I got my alpha parts established too. Like many have said, be yourself, and be it well, no problems.

Originally posted by fadedface
Anyone notice that women always go for the 'bad boys' and 'arrogant jerks'?

This is because women are genetically hardwired to be instinctively attracted to alpha males and this is because alpha males are aggressively confident and competitive and Women ignore, reject and even ridicule quiet, uncompetitive and passive males like me who lack confidence.. .......................................................................................etc

edit on 19-5-2013 by fadedface because: spelling

From my own observations, I can say that like is attracted to like. The problem is, people don't see this because they give women a pass for being psychopaths or sociopaths because they have a vagina. The gal's who "act nice" but still tend to veer towards psychopathic men tend to be sociopaths who are good at hiding their underlining nature.

And in some cases, some people still have traces of a more primitive mind(low IQ). It is unfair to judge lower IQ people by the standards of people with higher IQ's and greater degrees of self awareness.

Also, not all human beings are monogamous or promiscuous. Most are in-between, but some exist at the out fringes. Added to human diversity and bad luck.. It is kind of complicated.

In the end though, I have little patience or positive thought towards this type of outlook. For starters, you assign certain behaviors as "alpha", meaning you are elevating psychopaths. Secondly, your not complaining about behavior in the sense("I wish women would stop dating so many guys and take dating/courtship seriously") that something wrong is going on, you are complaining in these sense because you want to participate in a psychopathic system. You want what you visualize an alpha has access to, easy women.
(notice the plurality of "women")

Now if you want to sleep around and score with different "babes",(thoughts hidden).

For legitimate guy's out there who run into the problem of being out competed in courtship by psychopathic guy's:

1) Get a hair cut.
2) Buy new hair(shampoo, conditioner and gel/shaping gel) stuff, deodorant and body wash(the different scents from what your used to might improve your mood and some change is good).
3) Exercise a bit. If you already do exercise change up your routine.
4) Don't interact with psychopaths, don't be mean to them, but don't really interact with them. If they try to bully you or be chummy brush them off(or you can go the reverse route and associate with them to study the gals they are with to make it easier to spot the "type" to avoid, but be careful not to overly humanize with them or they will take advantage of you).


5) Know yourself! If you know yourself you will learn what type of environment you belong in and what type of person is right for you. Like my quote say's(and many misinterpret) "life is an ocean of perspectives, take heed not to lose your own a you swim through it".

Sometimes life can fill our heads with stupid. Someone else's perspectives can be grafted onto our own. This is often the case with "alpha's". You see, most "alphas" act as if they are "alphas" as a way of re-assuring others that they aren't doing anything wrong. They are trying to give their actions a pass by forcing them onto all guy's and declaring their behavior as "normal" and acting that it is "abnormal" to act in another way.

That is why it is important to cultivate your own thoughts and develop your own personhood.


6) MOVE INTO A DIFFERENT SOCIAL NETWORK!

When I was hanging out with a relative a few years back drinking and partying; I was chop liver in that social crowd. It was kind of like running into a brick wall over and over again(or chicks on birth control, they scare me. The ones on birth-control barely view me as existing, the ones off I am terrified to drink around lmao). While a year or so later when I started classes, I was treated as an Adonis as I have been accustomed to since my later teens(I still need to lose weight though, goal this summer).

Now that I think about it, I probably associated with the lower crowds because I felt I wasn't ready for a serious relationship(my views on courtship are extremely old fashioned, I realize one thing leads to another so if your not prepared for the final outcome then you should wait).

Anyway though, back on point: Change your social environment; observe it first, and then learn it so you can avoid it!


.
It is a massive a massive topic with so much data involved. So to wrap it up: Being an alpha means being a human animal, gal's who are into these 'alphas" are probably human animals too(or something worse), and bestiality is never a good thing(see that something worse).

Originally posted by Akragon
reply to post by fadedface

 

Actually women like confidence, and are usually turned off by a bully...

Yes they prefer the alpha male to some coward... but isn't the reason obvious?

You outlined it in your post somewhat...

We as males are supposed to be the protectors... and if you're a coward... who are you going to protect?

IF one has no confidence... you likely won't be able to make a woman laugh... aside from laughing at you...

Simple solution.... don't be a wimp... Girls hate that

Well said! We want a man that can protect the family as well as support it. A man that acts like a MAN, not like another woman. It's not so simple as "alpha" vs "omega", either. Not all non-wimpy men are jerks or bullies. Not all strong, confident men go around acting like idiots. That sort of generalization isn't accurate at all. Women want a man who IS a man. Pretending that all confident, strong men are bullies really sounds a bit like sour grapes. Many strong, confident men are also quiet, and pretty peaceful, unless there is a real threat. The premise in the OP is flawed.

honestly the opening post just sounds like some chump that's jealous cuz he can't get laid and is trying to put it all on others like he's the victim. Typical.

But what do I know, I'm just some cocky jerk who gets tons of chicks.

Originally posted by AussieDingus

Originally posted by liquidsmoke206
honestly the opening post just sounds like some chump that's jealous cuz he can't get laid and is trying to put it all on others like he's the victim. Typical.

But what do I know, I'm just some cocky jerk who gets tons of chicks.

If you were getting tonnes of chicks, you wouldn't be sitting around on a conspiracy site bagging those who make a valid point. You'd be out with at least one of those tonnes of chicks. Yet here you are !

It's not a competition to see who can score the most chicks. But maybe you get so many chicks because you're such a "bad boy" with you gun and all ?

Typical

Hey, most of the women I know (including myself) really appreciate a nice gun.

Sorry, couldn't resist. In all seriousness, though, the thread is flawed. Not all guys that aren't quiet, meek types are bullies, and such generalizations really do sound like whining. Plus, women appreciate a LOT of things in a guy, and one strong enough to defend her is only one quality. Brains matter as well. The guy really caring is a HUGE point in his favor. Claiming women are all just mindless hormonal idiots, running after grunting cavemen that will beat others over the head with clubs, while ignoring all others, is a bit silly.

reply to post by fadedface


Argh! This thread is annoying me on SO many levels!!
How dare YOU speak for ALL women?
You are actually speaking about your own personal experiences with women...aren't you? Perhaps you should invest some time into thinking about why you attract the women that you do? And why you don't attract others.

I have had relationships with 'nice' guys who were actually passive/aggressive which isn't much fun.
Bad-ass LOOKING guys, covered in tattoos who were big babies behind closed doors.

Oh, and by the way....most of these 'jerks' that you think women want....they start out lovely. They don't show their true colours in the beginning. They lead women to believe that they ARE nice guys....

jacygirl

reply to post by fadedface


OP.... You are so messed up that even if the girl of your dreams decided to date you.. you would blow it simply because you cannot get over yourself.

You have no idea how to treat a woman and all the knowledge you say you have about women has done nothing to help your situation.

The reason why is because you know nothing... knowledge is power and if you really knew women you would be able to get a woman simply because you know how they work.

Women like quiet men just fine. I was very quiet in highschool and I dated the prettiest girl in my class. I was looked at for leadership and I really had no clue why.. I was not a bully or loud. I was kind, helpful and nice to people. I actually thought i was a softy but i always ended up in a leadership position in sports or group projects.

All the women I dated have said I am very dominant, and kind.. and that I make them feel safe. Yet I am quiet wouldn't hurt a fly but never been one to turn down a fight. Let me put it this way .. if i find a spider in the house, i catch it and put it outside... i don't squash it same with ants. they liked that i was quiet and kind.

You have a lot of resentment and bitterness in your heart.. .I pity you very much simply because you will never be happy with such an attitude... and you are denying yourself happiness.

the first thing you need to do is get over yourself.. that is your biggest problem.

Here is a secret... the only way you will end up alone is if you work hard at keeping it that way... and it seems like you are going out of your way to do so.

.. But it is okay... once you grow up a bit (that's if you are young if not yeesh) you will wise up hopefully.


I dated around till i was 32 because i am picky then i got married at 33.. and I married a woman 12yrs younger than me... my dating range at 28 was 19-45...


here are a few tips for you

get over yourself ( i repeat that cuz you really need to do that)
stop attacking women and yourself

>>>>>it is all about herNOT ABOUT YOU

Pardon me for hopping on the bus so late but after reading your initial post I was so baffled by how simplistic your observations where that I had to hold myself back before commenting. Now the time is right and forgive me if I may seem a bit harsh throughout my reply but it is nothing personal towards you or your character, just an opinion.

Firstly this whole alpha male business you seem so convinced of is a mere psychological predisposition that has been etched into the minds of humans that quite ironically, seem to be the only beings on this planet with the capability to exclude themselves from the natural order not only physically but most importantly mentally.

Surely you can recognize our humankind's unique ability to preserve and encapsulate a unique array of wants and needs created by numerous amounts of events and effects that formulate unique tastes and identities respective of our species.

You cannot simply categorize human behavior with this ''black&white'' reasoning.
I find it to be a product of laziness to group and generalize people into these stereotypical categories of nerds, bad boys, hot chicks etc.

Maybe from a physiological standpoint that can be applied, but trust me behind those layers of make up and flexing muscles lies very unique individuals that layer themselves to belong into a society that is just as confused as they are.

People are complex and strange creatures that are forever changing as they accumulate experiences in all the facets applicable to their unique existence.
Wants and needs in partners vary just as personalities do and it seems you wrote this post with a sense of bias intentions due to your lack of success with the fairer sex.

Firstly to be an ''alpha'' male as you like to call it does not necessarily require rude, obnoxious and aggressive personality characteristics. Survival of the fittest is a fallacy my friend, Darwin never stated that, survival of the most adaptable is what he claimed and that makes sense.

Your not a idiot so use your wit and intelligence to your advantage. Instead of spending time formulating these ludicrous hypothesis' use that brain power to adapt yourself into a suitable mate for whatever demographic you require suitable for a mate. You require a good boost of confidence and the best way to do so is through self empowerment. You will come right as soon as you stop treating the notion of relationships like an anthropology project. Women can sense it when your defeatist and unsure in yourself. Don't be a douche just be you but with belief in you. That's my 2cent

as long as ´dominant alpha male ´ means ´big bank accout´ rather than ´agressive behaviour´ this is right..

You should make a thread about 'the fake alpha male'.

Am I talking to myself?

Oops, and I just posted this..