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Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

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posted on May, 20 2013 @ 07:56 AM
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Originally posted by fadedface
reply to post by Ange7Heart
 


Well that's alpha male propaganda equating all nice guys with murderers I must have missed those studies they conducted.

Women should be content with passive 'nice guys' but this goes against their evolutionarily instinct to find strong and competitive protectors. Even if the 'thugs' aren't alpha males as you say (even though I see no difference) women still prefer the excitement and challenge of an 'arrogant bad boy' to a passive, weak, timid and uncompetitive male such as myself which is a condemnation of all women kind.


No, women should be content with what they want. Plain and simple. You don't decide what a woman wants, she decides for herself. Its called free-will, and the Alpha's RESPECT a womens decision and they move forward to the next opportunity, where the nice guy become OBSSESSIVE and become stalkers.

So no, I still debunk your claim with facts. And the studies are shown through psychology look it up.
edit on 20-5-2013 by Ange7Heart because: (no reason given)




posted on May, 20 2013 @ 07:57 AM
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reply to post by RiAcPeSa2A6M
 


Well said, and spoken like a true Alpha.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:07 AM
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reply to post by RiAcPeSa2A6M
 


You know, I'm really tired of seeing people lump all women into one category.

"All women are control-freaks." "All women want is money." All women want an alpha male."

Why can't we just treat each other as people? Why must there be this strife between men and women?

I do like what you had to say about confidence and being yourself. I'm glad you found that strength and are happy with it. That's hard to do, so congratulations.


edit on 20-5-2013 by smyleegrl because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:11 AM
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reply to post by nenothtu
 


Well I can't fault the good sense that you speak.

I'm no stranger to humiliation myself after being bullied by other males all my life and mocked and ridiculed by all women (when they even notice I exist which I don't want them to now) and women have very subtle condescending ways of mocking passive males such as myself. I think I've now bypassed any sense of being humiliated and embarrassed and even having any form of dignity. If it has taught me one thing its not to care what others think about me because there all hypocrites with their own self serving agenda's and I like you I just want people to stay away from me now.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:14 AM
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reply to post by Ange7Heart
 


Okay I respect your viewpoint on yourself as you perceive yourself to be an alpha male. However 'alpha male' by its very definition denotes competition in my mind so its not a phrase I like to use. Perhaps your what I would call a male of integrity who is confident but doesn't use this confidence against others which is what typical 'alpha males' and women do in my opinion. They use their confidence and happiness as a weapon against those who don't have those things.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:22 AM
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reply to post by RiAcPeSa2A6M
 


Thanks for the insight and even if you consider yourself an alpha male I appreciate what you had to convey in your post and parts of it really struck a chord with me.

"90% of the women I have met do not have any idea. They are narrow minded and fairly shallow. I don't have much in common with most of them."

This quote from your post especially resonates with me and in general women seem to be mercenaries they want a male for what he can offer them not for who he really is. Which is why females give no time to the passive males like me because we have nothing to offer them in a worldly sense and they never take the time to get to know quiet males because we lack confidence and therefore they perceive us to be inadequate.

It makes me upset when I think of all the good quiet men who have been condemned to remain alone because women only notice superficial confidence in men and so a quiet male who may lack confidence but is a good male is denied by women to be able to have a relationship. Shallow and narrow minded describes this very well when women insist males must have confidence don't they realize that confidence isn't the be all and end all of a person.

All the best males I've met in my life have been those who have lacked confidence on the surface or been socially awkward in some way and I can't forgive women for shunning men such as them and myself.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: Adding the word mercenary in regard to women



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:31 AM
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It makes me upset when I think of all the good quiet men who have been condemned to remain alone because women only notice superficial confidence in men and so a quiet male who may lack confidence but is a good male is denied by women to be able to have a relationship. Shallow and narrow minded describes this very well when women insist males must have confidence don't they realize that confidence isn't the be all and end all of a person.
reply to post by fadedface
 


SOME women do this. Not all. Just like SOME men are shallow, conceited people who only want shallow, conceited partners.

The thing that disturbs me so much about your posts is that you are insisting that all women are the same. Sure, some are exactly the way you've portrayed them. But not all. Not even the majority of women are like this.

If the only women you see act this way, then you need to broaden your horizons.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:35 AM
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Originally posted by smyleegrl

SOME women do this. Not all. Just like SOME men are shallow, conceited people who only want shallow, conceited partners.

The thing that disturbs me so much about your posts is that you are insisting that all women are the same. Sure, some are exactly the way you've portrayed them. But not all. Not even the majority of women are like this.

If the only women you see act this way, then you need to broaden your horizons.


Well maybe if just one just one female throughout my entire life had of liked me and shown interest in me and seen past my lack of confidence and social awkwardness then maybe I would think better of women. Was that to much to ask?

It never happened though despite how much I wanted it to and the females ignored and mocked me and gave themselves to the socialable males just because they had the superficial quality of confidence.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:37 AM
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reply to post by fadedface
 


I apply the term because I learned the true alpha way. That integrity you mentioned is actually one of the traits of the Alpha Male and its taught in seminars. Those courses takes guys like you and transform them into being who they really are. The Alpha Male courses also teaches you that you do not have to have good looks, fancy cars,, or alot of money to have the girl of your dreams. You just need to learn to be yourself again.

You are confusing the Alpha males with the jerk and that is what I am trying to clarify to you.

There are very few alpha males in this world, maybe a few thousand to say the least. The reason I clasify myself as one is because ive been through seminars on how to BE an alpha male.

There are many books that teaches these things that will help you self improve. I defend the Alpha Males because I learned from true Alpha Males. David Dangelo has a course on how to become one, so does a few others. Jason Alexander has a good book out that I read that you can probably download off the internet. I can also recommend a course through PM if youd like.

But you have to be willing to do Self work and actually be serious on self improvement. trust me, you will become a womans best friend if you do this. Again, The Alpha Male courses teaches you not to become something you are not, but rather it teaches you to be confident with yourself, no matter who you are or what you did in your past. It teaches you to let go of the past and not worry about the future. It teaches you to stay present and be in the here and now. It is very similar to spirituality in a sense.And it has also aided me in my spiritual journey, and also granted me a chance to learn from women directly.

I used to be like you OP, till I found a better way.

There are a few that claim to be Alpha's but aren't and you probably saw them and confused them.

edit on 20-5-2013 by Ange7Heart because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:47 AM
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Originally posted by fadedface
reply to post by RiAcPeSa2A6M
 




It makes me upset when I think of all the good quiet men who have been condemned to remain alone because women only notice superficial confidence in men and so a quiet male who may lack confidence but is a good male is denied by women to be able to have a relationship. Shallow and narrow minded describes this very well when women insist males must have confidence don't they realize that confidence isn't the be all and end all of a person.



All the negative traits youve mentioned in this thread applies to the jerk. There are 2 types of confidences, false confidence which displays a false self (Living a lie and fooling women until they show their true selves, this is the jerk)

The alpha male however is confident with himself and everything he does and thus always is himself. He does not live a lie and always lives with his truth. This type of male is what the world needs as leaders. They are actually the fairest males you will ever meet and they are the life of the party and actually enjoy helping others.


edit on 20-5-2013 by Ange7Heart because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:50 AM
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Originally posted by smyleegrl

There is always time to change. And how do you know someone is less deserving than you? No one ever truly knows the hardships and challenges others face. Everyone has difficulties in life. Everyone has setbacks, and pain, and problems. Some choose to rise up and overcome these setbacks. Others choose to wallow in self pity.

Have you made your choice?


I say less deserving people because I've seen it all my life - proud, overconfident and selfish males get the females but quietly spoken and polite males such as I get left behind and slowly fade away. To me its in injustice and I will speak out against any injustice if I see it and in my experiences women have perpetrated a great injustice by rejected the quiet and passive males.

As for making any choices I'm a very indecisive person but I'll just go on being the polite and friendly frustrated idealist I've always been if that isn't enough then so be it.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 08:59 AM
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reply to post by Ange7Heart
 


Well I've always maintained that if quiet and passive selfless males got noticed by women instead of the 'jerks' we could do good even great things and if women chose us over the 'alpha jerks' then society and human nature would become more tolerant and passive.

I'm glad that you've become the person you truly are and even though I dispute the term 'alpha' I respect that you once like I am now was reduced to a social outsider by females because they place such importance on something as superficial as confidence but you have proved that confidence is not necessary in finding contentment in yourself.

As long as women place importance on something as superficial and fleeting as confidence they will never be spiritually evolved and tolerant beings.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:00 AM
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Originally posted by fadedface

Originally posted by smyleegrl

SOME women do this. Not all. Just like SOME men are shallow, conceited people who only want shallow, conceited partners.

The thing that disturbs me so much about your posts is that you are insisting that all women are the same. Sure, some are exactly the way you've portrayed them. But not all. Not even the majority of women are like this.

If the only women you see act this way, then you need to broaden your horizons.


Well maybe if just one just one female throughout my entire life had of liked me and shown interest in me and seen past my lack of confidence and social awkwardness then maybe I would think better of women. Was that to much to ask?

It never happened though despite how much I wanted it to and the females ignored and mocked me and gave themselves to the socialable males just because they had the superficial quality of confidence.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)


Maybe if you didn't act like a whiny, petulant child that didn't get his way and ooze disdain for women while seething about your problems a woman might be attracted to you. You do know you need to actually approach women and talk to them right? 90% of women won't directly engage any male in "dating" conversation. Sure they'll drop hints, but most women want to be wanted and pursued. They don't want to chase a partner down, it's just not in their nature. You can't whine that you lost if you never even attempted to play the game.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:00 AM
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reply to post by fadedface
 


I was bullied in elementary school. One day I just stood up and said "this ain't happenin' any more" - and it hasn't, with any degree of success, to this very day. One does not have to be domineering nor condescending to make that happen - he simply doesn't allow it any more. That was the day I discovered that no one does anything to you that you don't allow them to do. Now, I understand that there are some people who just can't go that route, for whatever reason. Even those folks, however, determine their own destinies by their own decisions and reactions to events. Life is only 10% what happens to you - the other 90% is how you react to that.

If you've developed the shell as you say, then you have it whipped already. The worst that can happen in approaching women is rejection. If that doesn't matter any more, you just take it and move on to the next. Rejection is not a world-ending event, it's just part of living. If you persist, and move on to the next, and the next, and the next, you will eventually run into one who DOESN'T reject you. may not be "the one", and probably won't be, but it's a start.

Women who "subtly mock" you are not your problem - they have their own issues. Just blow 'em off and move on to the next. They have deeper problems than you, and you don't need the headaches their needy asses bring. If you're a religious man, the Bible says those types are "heaping coals onto their own heads". Religious or not, that tends to be true. It eventually catches up with them, usually when they're too old and grouchy to snag any man any more, and then it burns them down. It's a self-punishing behavior, and there is no particular reason you should make their problems yours, or take their foolishness to heart.

Also, there is no particular reason you SHOULD care what others think about you. If they're your friends, they're not going to think ill, and if they're not, why should their opinions matter anyhow? Doesn't matter whether they're hypocrites or not - that, too, is a self-punishing behavior.

I'm gonna have to git for the time being. I need a nap to keep my old butt from getting cranky and out of sorts, and this storm is threatening to knock me off the internet anyhow. Good luck, and I'll check back in later.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:13 AM
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Originally posted by EViLKoNCEPTz

You do know you need to actually approach women and talk to them right? 90% of women won't directly engage any male in "dating" conversation. Sure they'll drop hints, but most women want to be wanted and pursued. They don't want to chase a partner down, it's just not in their nature. You can't whine that you lost if you never even attempted to play the game.


And therein lies one of the problems women expect men to pursue them so they allow men to compete for their attention and they just sit back and wait till the right alpha male (or their approximation of an alpha male) comes along. Which is why even the most shy female with insecurities will have a chance to have a relationship because men will compete even for the less socialable females.

The same cannot be said for socially awkward males like myself who lack confidence we are condemned by women to remain alone.

Women have to realize that some men like myself who have no confidence are not capable of competing or approaching them in any social situation so are we simply to be denied the chance to have a relationship by women? How can they justify this?

It is short sighted, close minded and downright unfair that women do not notice males who lack confidence and the importance they place on males having confidence is disheartening for those males who are bereft of it.

As women are inherently socialable they should go out of their way to give attention to socially awkward males and help them.


edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:21 AM
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I say less deserving people because I've seen it all my life - proud, overconfident and selfish males get the females but quietly spoken and polite males such as I get left behind and slowly fade away. To me its in injustice and I will speak out against any injustice if I see it and in my experiences women have perpetrated a great injustice by rejected the quiet and passive males.
reply to post by fadedface
 


I could change one word in your statement and it would be true for a lot of women in this world.

"I've seen it all my life- proud, overconfident and selfish females get the males but quietly spoken and polite females get left behind."

All I'm trying to get you to understand is that this rejection comes from both sexes.

I have never been a great beauty. I'm average looking at best. In high school, the only guys who gave me the time of day where the ones who took the time to know me. The stereotypical, confidant, socially prominent males never looked twice.

In college, this started to change. Not because I became a ravishing beauty, but because some guys began to realize that there are other qualities desirable in a life partner besides looks. You've already recognized this, I believe, at least for yourself.

People grow up, mature, and their adolescent attitudes change. Guys look beyond the physical. Girls look beyond the material. It takes time, but it happens.

Keep being your nice, polite, gentle self. I PROMISE you, there are many women out there who would love to be with someone with those qualities. And the positive side of this, those women who choose the quiet types are far less likely to involve their partners in drama.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:24 AM
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Originally posted by Ange7Heart
trust me, you will become a womans best friend if you do this. Again, The Alpha Male courses teaches you not to become something you are not, but rather it teaches you to be confident with yourself, no matter who you are or what you did in your past.



Bro, if someone "becomes" an alpha male just to score with chicks, well, he's doing it wrong!
That's the result of what one is ("alpha male" or not really doesn't matter), not the objective to aim for.

My wife says no one can "become" an alpha male any more than they can "become" a diesel engine. You either are are you're not. Myself, I dunno. I suppose you could learn to ACT like one, but I don't know what the real net results of that would be. Seems to me that what you project on the outside better have a real close correlation to what you've got on the inside for it to work right. Just being themselves works for most, regardless of "alpha-ism". There aren't really all that many alphas around, yet most folks still manage to find someone to be with even if they're not an "alpha".



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:27 AM
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reply to post by Ange7Heart
 


Why thank you!
A true alpha is compassionate, reasonable, rational and maintains control of him/herself.
Bullies, they are weak and afraid. hence why they gravitate towards positions or power and control, just masks how hollow they are.
A good movie for an example: the experiment.
Outlines the difference between bullies and reasonable people.



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:28 AM
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Originally posted by nenothtu
reply to post by fadedface
 


If you've developed the shell as you say, then you have it whipped already. The worst that can happen in approaching women is rejection. If that doesn't matter any more, you just take it and move on to the next. Rejection is not a world-ending event, it's just part of living. If you persist, and move on to the next, and the next, and the next, you will eventually run into one who DOESN'T reject you. may not be "the one", and probably won't be, but it's a start.

Women who "subtly mock" you are not your problem - they have their own issues. Just blow 'em off and move on to the next. They have deeper problems than you, and you don't need the headaches their needy asses bring. If you're a religious man, the Bible says those types are "heaping coals onto their own heads". Religious or not, that tends to be true. It eventually catches up with them, usually when they're too old and grouchy to snag any man any more, and then it burns them down. It's a self-punishing behavior, and there is no particular reason you should make their problems yours, or take their foolishness to heart.

Also, there is no particular reason you SHOULD care what others think about you. If they're your friends, they're not going to think ill, and if they're not, why should their opinions matter anyhow? Doesn't matter whether they're hypocrites or not - that, too, is a self-punishing behavior.



Well thank you for the good sense and I don't fear rejection I've been ignored by women my entire life so am use to it and expect it now. I just feel compelled to point out the injustice that a lot of women (everyone I have ever seen from my own experiences) ignore quiet and passive males. It doesn't matter to me anymore though I just resent seeing women in relationships with all confident and socially accepted males because it reminds me of what I have been denied and women like to impose their happiness with confident male idiots infront of me to enforce my own sense of isolation and loneliness. I wouldn't feel so alone if didn't have to see women in relationships. Its wicked the way women do this.

Hopefully I will become more like you and resilient to bullying that alpha males and women inflict on me often by their very own existence sometimes. I have to stop caring and give up completely and just accept I do not have what
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 20 2013 @ 09:41 AM
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Originally posted by smyleegrl
I could change one word in your statement and it would be true for a lot of women in this world.

"I've seen it all my life- proud, overconfident and selfish females get the males but quietly spoken and polite females get left behind."



As I keep on pointing out what you fail to grasp is that even the 'quietly spoken and polite' females have more of a chance of a relationship than a 'quietly spoken and polite' male who lacks confidence because although your right a lot of confident males will go for the popular females there will always be males competing for the interest of the quieter and more reserved females as well.

The disparity is that the quiet and polite males will have no females vying for their interest because females expect males to have the confidence to approach them something which quiet males like me cannot do.

You even said in your post some males took the time to get to know you but how many quiet, socially awkward males with no confidence and no social skills did you take the time to get to know yourself. None would be the answer because women don't do this they wait for the males to come to them.
edit on 20-5-2013 by fadedface because: (no reason given)



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