posted on May, 17 2013 @ 10:05 PM
Things occur in our lives of which we [sometimes] have little control that make us feel sadness, grief, anger, etc. Apart from those events, for me,
most of happiness seems to be akin to choice. I can wake up and bemoan my achy joints or old injuries are flaring, or I can go outside and be with
nature and do a little Tai Chi and feel good about things.
I can watch the sensationalized production that passes for news, or I can go outside and work on the neverending weeds and -- if I'm lucky -- see a
coupla parrots chattering in the Almond or Sea Grape trees.
Yeah, I feel the press of a world in crisis -- all the horrors that humanity perpetrates upon itself -- and I have no answer for that, but I don't
think it's naïve or delusional to dare to hope in those shadowed moments.
My darlin' and me have no children. One of us is going to die alone. If she goes first, I will be unhappy, but within those moments -- if it
turns out that way -- I hope to remember the things we did, and how we made a difference for some in our own small way.
I want to never take a day for granted. Life is fleeting sometimes, and it can be snatched away without warning in an instant. I consider my time
to be a commodity that is invaluable, and yes, I consider time spent here to be worthwhile. Things that matter involve personal investment, and
sometimes that the process of gaining experience is worth more than the culmination of it.
I might practice a piece by Michael Hedges, say, on the guitar 857 times before I think it's close to right. Every time gets me closer. Every
time I shape my right-hand fingernails (three of which are malformed due to a jointer accident), that action gets me closer to the tone and touch of
the rest stroke that makes the piece come together.
Every watercolor painting I botch up with muddy colors makes the next one better. Every person I help out with some little thing makes me a more
humble person, because I recognize that we're on the same path with a different pace. These are the elements of life that involve choice, and I
thank God daily for the privilege of having that choice to make.
That's happiness, for me.