This is 100% a self-indulgent thread. Just a heads up.
I just got back from my "break." I took a vow to log off ATS, get rid of the Infowars feed on my laptop, and stop all the playing activism, because
none of my loved ones want to hear it, and it was only driving me mad and making me angry all the time for no good reason. But, I didn't actually
quit playing activist. I just took a vacation, and feel much better now that I have.
My mother and father, who both have anger and pride issues like HELL, have been divorced since I was nine, about ten years ago. And my God, have they
hated each other over the past decade. Dad shacked up with an unspeakable monster that became my stepmother, then the hell began. Imagine having a
manic depressed bi-polar ex-prostitute beat her kids in front of you, call you names, then suggest there's something wrong with YOU.
Sorry for being graphic. She made my childhood unbearable.
I got in countless physical confrontations with her, and I can honestly say that there is nothing--and I mean NOTHING--no evil, no demons, no sin in
the world--that I HATE more than her.
Then, this past winter, something fanominal happened--something wonderful.
They divorced, and she moved out of state.
Then, something even more impossible happened.
My mother and father got back together shortly after.
This was like a dream. Totally unreal. They moved in together, and a few months went by, everything being fine. And here we are.
Now, mom and dad have been fighting, and dad says he doesn't know if he wants to be with her.
Nevermind that she's the mother of his kids, or that the kids are finally happy.
My little brother and sister are watching mum and dad's relationship spiral up and down, and they have no idea what to expect. And guess what? Dad's
been talking to my ex-stepmother.
A woman (sort of) who put TWO false restraining orders on me. She did that to try to have me arrested. OVER NOTHING. I told her I hated her more than
anything. I never once threatened her.
She lied to the court. She told them I threatened her. And, knowing I can't pay court costs because I'm out of work at the moment finishing high
school, she puts in the restraining order papers that she wants ME to pay for everything. Including her appointed lawyer.
She told my dad, "If you don't want your daughter in jail, you better come back to me."
She fell apart when she found out mum and dad were back together.
And she is. INSANE.
My mamaw had to dip into her savings in order to pay my court costs. I almost DID go to jail.
All this fighting. All the "he said she said" bs has gotta stop.
My mom's falling apart, my dad's being a wuss about everything, my mamaw and papaw are deteriorating slowly, and my grandmother died a few months
ago... Things seem to be crumbling all over again. Its just like my ninth birthday. A ten year tradition. Divorce and drama.
But you know what? In a few weeks, I'll have my diploma. My fiance is saving for our car, and we're planning to move to Texas in about a year. I
lived in Texas when I was little, and I miss it.
All my friends are here in Tennessee, but I'll cope.
It looks like I'll have to keep my word after all, when I said at age ten, and every age afterwards, that when I can, I'm leaving everything and
everyone involved with this family and never looking back.
And here I go.
Freedom's finally almost here.
I'm sick of feeling like a parent to my parents, and watching my little brother and sister hurt.
I'm tired of playing mediator.
Around the time I'm turning 21, I should be in Texas saving up for the pump action 12 gauge I've always wanted, with my dear fiance and whatever
friends I might make down there. I can see myself now, sitting on the porch, watching the blazing sun, planning my next trip to the enchilada
No more drama.
Just one year left.
God help me.
Sorry to whine so much... just needed to vent. You may return to your lives now, ATS.