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The Most Ridiculous Quotes in the Bible

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posted on May, 15 2013 @ 06:42 PM
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according to john, jesus said...

john 5;31... 'If I testify about myself, my testimony is not true'

but later jesus says...

john 8;18... 'I am one who testifies for myself '

it seems john was trying to tell us something, pehaps a warning?




posted on May, 17 2013 @ 10:36 PM
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jesus wept



posted on May, 28 2013 @ 04:24 AM
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As a team full beard girl I agree
Leviticus 19:27 reads "You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard."

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you can't follow or play football....or whats worse NO Bacon
Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads "You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you."

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Suicidal birth control: Genesis 38:9-10: "Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the Lord; so He took his life also."

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There will be NO Jerusalem INK the reality tv show
Leviticus 19:28 "You shall not make any cuts in your body for the dead nor make any tattoo marks on yourselves: I am the Lord."

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Don't wear Polyester, queer eye for the Israeli guy
Leviticus 19:19 reads, "You are to keep My statutes. You shall not breed together two kinds of your cattle; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed, nor wear a garment upon you of two kinds of material mixed together."

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God hates Eunuchs
Deuteronomy 23:1 "A man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off may never join the assembly of the Lord."

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Sell your daughters into slavery, sounds legit
Exodus 21.7 If a man sells his daughter as a female slave, she is not to go free as the male slaves do.

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HUSBANDS FAVOURITE
Timothy 2:12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

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JEHOVA! who said that!, she did she did!, He did , he did!
Leviticus 24:16 Anyone who blasphemes the name of the LORD must be put to death. The entire assembly must stone him.

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Guess the apostle was saying its OK to drink the Kool aid?
Mark 16:18 He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned. These signs will accompany those who have believed: in My name they will cast out demons, they will speak with new tongues; they will pick up serpents, and if they drink any deadly poison, it will not hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.

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So does the following apply to the disciples? 'Cause they did a heck of a lot of converting...especially that Roman Paul
"If your very own brother.... Let us go and worship other gods (gods that neither you nor your fathers have known, gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other) Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him. You must certainly put him to death. Your hand must be the first in putting him to death, and then the hands of all the people. Stone him to death, because he tried to turn you away from the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. "

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Genesis, there should have been a book called Genocide
"Slaughter old men, young men and maidens, women and children, but do not touch anyone who has the mark. Begin at my sanctuary." Ezekiel 9:6c


edit on 28-5-2013 by zazzafrazz because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 28 2013 @ 07:43 AM
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Originally posted by mrperplexed
In my studies, I find passages such as the ones posted that seem to completely contradict the Moral, omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient God. For instance, how can evil exist ? How can a God have the 3 omni's and be Jealous, malevolent, and unwilling or unable to deal with evil?

My post is gain deeper understanding of these matters through debate and discussion, not to chastise believers.


There's an old question that says why do bad things happen to good people, and that helps us in no way with your current question. Let me shed some light on this for you by asking another question... Why do good drivers get into car accidents?
edit on 28-5-2013 by Witness123 because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 28 2013 @ 05:23 PM
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I think some things are said in the mind, things we can speak, I mean sentences that can be formed. As now, I can 'make you read' : "if the laundrydryer is spinning, you may never wash your dishes"

See, that is something that CAN BE TOLD. It does not have to make sense.

The thing is, God is savior, God is good,

Being what God, the Most High, the Eternal desires you to be, that is what is the.
Your soul is saved by the Biggest. See, God does no harm to his children, I testify.

Jah is good, all Jah does is good.
Jah is good, all Jah does is good
...

You be saved!

God, the Fearkiller. Everything is possible wih Jah.



posted on May, 29 2013 @ 04:54 AM
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Jah says: "I am LIFE, and I sustain all of humanity, acknowledge my Love for the world, be no fool!"

Thus Jah.



posted on May, 29 2013 @ 05:14 AM
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18 For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:

19 And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.




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