DOCTORS!! I have had it.

Of all the mighty things Thomas Jefferson said his speak on his frustration with doctors as: "The next doctor that sees me will be the one that pulls the sheet over my face"

Monday morning doctors appointment: Not much of this is paraphrased-this is how it went. I have orthopedic issues from an accident in the 80's

After a 45 minute wait while the doctor-who-it's hard not to like this guy. He has a smartass attitude and answers every question with his zingers and can be quite comical. Modern day version of 'Snappy answers to Stupid questions"

Doctor: "So, I see you made it through physical therapy.

Me: Yes , I did. I went in, did what I was told, and kept my mouth shut.

Doc: Isn't that what I told you to do?

Me: Yes, I have more in common with a cinderblock that I do those monsters.

Doc: I believe I told you that as well.

Doc: Oke dokie Your bloodwork is fine Cholesterol where we agreed it should be BP fine and your chugging right along on about 5 cylinders.

Me: That is great I think

Doc: Now we need to schedule some test for you

Me: Test?

Doc: Colonoscopy

Me: The bulb up the butt?

Doc: Thats the one. But hey you get a solid 30mil Valium buzz with that you'll float the rest of the day guaranteed!

Me: Hold on there is no history of cancer in my family going back 5 generations, I don't drink, smoke and I get more exercise than most men half my age.

Doc: Yup Just like I told you.

Me: So I don't need the test.

Doc: No you don't need the test-but you need to do it anyway.

Me: Why?

Doc: Boss says so

Me: Boss? I thought you guys in private practice kind of ran your own show.

Doc: Man you are stuck in the 80's

Me: That is ridiculous!

Doc: No what is ridiculous is that 9 days later you need to have a bone density test.

Me: Bone Density?

Doc: Osteoporosis

Me: I didn't just fall off the turnip truck-I thought that only happened to women-very old women.

Doc: Right on your at no risk at all-but boss said you have to have it

Me: That is ludicrous!

Doc: It sure is!

Me: It's the stupidest damn thing I ever heard of.

Doc: No I got to correct you there the stupidest damn thing you ever heard is that if you don't agree to the test I going to order 10 more days at our department of whips and chains known as physical therapy.

Me: God no please, no more of that.

Doc: That is just grand then office will set those up-well daylight's wasting got to slide.

Me: Off to order a pregnancy test for a nun?

Doc: Boy! you do catch on fast.

Upon leaving

Receptionist: We will put that on your account-would you like to fill out a card about your visit?

Me: There are no cards in the box?

Receptionist: Well I'll be! You have a blessed day

reply to post by spooky24


You sound like the snappy one, not him.

Just say no.

Doctors have to deal with worse, much worse. Every stinkin day. Truth is, once you get sucked in to getting regular checkups, they'll notice that this or that is off or abnormal. Well shazang, go grab a handful of squirrels and put them behind a desk wearing shoes for 20 years on a diet of crap we eat and find out how many are "at risk" or "overweight". People are walking goldmines for doctors, and it's because of our sedentary lifestyles and unhealthy diets.

Doctors are great when you break a bone, or need an organ transplant. ER stuff. Beyond that, I'll live how I choose knowing darn well the consequences. I'm eating better, and the weather is getting nicer, so it's time to quit smoking and get outside. Am I perfect? Hell no, and I don't need a paperwork-oriented visit to a person who hangs their degree on the wall to tell me that. A person who spends a lifetime of perfect diet and exercise could still be at risk of any organ failure or disease. I just think of it like prevention. A car with dirty oil and bad pumps will not perform like a car with a clean, well-maintained engine.

EDIT: Going with the whole car analogy, our bodies are similar enough to each other, but each is unique. Only YOU know your body. A certified Ford mechanic knows all about every model of Ford, but even the best doctors in the world haven't seen enough bodies to know exactly what is wrong with someone and how to treat it.

reply to post by spooky24

Everything you mentioned is warranted in the recommended tests. Your family and personal histories had nothing to do really with the colonoscopy either. All men over or near age 50 should have one every few years or so...even with no symptoms. Its to detect EARLY warning signs of disease and suspicious indications.

You have Ortho issues, so the bone density and P.T. therapies and diagnostics are also warranted to better treat you in the future with what you acknowledge are the reasons you are even going to the doc..

You say you don't have this, and don't need that...but everyone...EVERYONE...in the beginning stages of disease had to be diagnosed 1st...and were sure nothing was wrong, had no history etc, etc.

Many, many of those who refused either preventative testing or maintenance...especially after its you who went to the doctors....are dead now.

And, I agree with your thread title. With a pre-existing ortho condition, and refusing tests to assist the medical profession to treat and diagnose conditions and suspicions early to keep you well as can be....you may very well have "had it".

MS *C.M.A./R.M.A - Current E.M.T for the city I live in. Certified in Advanced Life Support

PS The "attitude" was yours. Lighten up sir...take the tests

Dude.... I laughed all the way down the Rant.... I'm just saying... You sound like me at the Doctor.... The ending was perfect.... "Oh no cards.... Have a nice day~"

The best advice is to completely avoid a doctor's office, unless your bleeding from nearly every orifice. (Or some similar medical emergency) Doctors make a lot of money off patients who really don't need the visit in the first place. Most likely, you will be prescribed a bunch of pills that you really could live without, especially if you're taking adequate care of yourself. No one gets out of this one alive, lol - pills...tests....butt scopes.... nothing will prevent your eventual death. Just saying

Consider yourself fortunate. Many people have to put up with the same or worse while having very serious problems. I had a problem with my spinal cord and they sent a guest physician to examine me who recommended physical therapy.
Got the the PT's office and he twisted me like a pretzel (under protest) and said "I can't do anything to help you, you need to see a neurologist".
After an MRi the Doc scheduled me for emergency surgery.
By this point is was already almost 3 weeks after my initial injury.
I probably should have sued but like many people I just wanted to get on with my life.

You can always refuse to take a test btw, it's your choice - not the dr's.

I hate the doctors.

Maybe you should meet mine.

He's not so nice.

Originally posted by B1rd1nFL1ghT
The best advice is to completely avoid a doctor's office, unless your bleeding from nearly every orifice. (Or some similar medical emergency) Doctors make a lot of money off patients who really don't need the visit in the first place. Most likely, you will be prescribed a bunch of pills that you really could live without, especially if you're taking adequate care of yourself. No one gets out of this one alive, lol - pills...tests....butt scopes.... nothing will prevent your eventual death. Just saying

This is just wrong on so many fronts but keep believing that.

Please suffer a compound fracture and then speak to me about how you are going to avoid a Dr. or Hospital.
Better yet come to work with me for a few days and tell the critical children that they don't need a doctor. That they will be ok because you read on the interwebz that if they drink Milk of the Poppy everything will be cured.

That's great if you have had good health.
Many people don't.
I'm sorry if you or the OP has had a bad experience with a doctor. Like any profession human nature plays into a job and some are great and some are not.

reply to post by opethPA


Yeah, I'm pretty sure that falls under the whole "medical emergency" catagory.

I appreciate your overly dramatic response though.

My point was... too many people visit doctors unnecessarily. It was simply a statement and not directed at anyone in particular. Just a simple observation. Relax, deep breath in... big breath out.

Loved the rant, well written.

But do the colonoscopy, okay? My aunt had no family history, no symptoms, nothing. One day she started having heartburn.....turned out to be end stage colon cancer. She had a horrible death.

Better to know you're fine than to go through that.

Yeah I hate the dotcors and consultant paediatrictians too. One said I was Munchausens by proxy because she didn't know what was causing my eldest's pain that woke us all up at 3am every night.
(Turns out after 7years of going to loads of specialists-we all have a genetic disease that causes loose joints and PAIN.)
One just said something about the length of my fingers-I didn't ask WTH he was talking about.... I was there to get a specialist appt for my youngest to start the ball rolling on the family genetic problem. (We all have a dominant genetic prob.)
All he could talk about was that I home ed. And starts asking questions only about that.
He then sends the 6 exact same idiot questions to my GP who calls me inot the office-there was I thinking they had found something wrong with my youngest-NO it was the stupid questions.
AND to top it all the consultant didn't even arrange the appt!!!!************* expletive of your choice.

I'm still hanging on to get her diagnosed because Great Ormond str hosp got all her appt f*******d up. and no matter how much I said she is supposed to see a physio not a Occupational Therapist, the stupid clerk couldn't get it right, so I gave up.

SO yeah Drs and medical receptionists (in our GP Surgery =English for several GPs under one roof just so noone knows you from one week to another) are so full of crap.

I swear there is one woman GP that hates me (either that or she is a witch). I went in with blood and pus in my urine and she says "I don't think so". I said what? Apparently I am a hypochrondiac even thought the test she had just done shows blood and pus in my urine. WTF? Bought cranberrry juice.

So I treat us now. I have the knowledge of the first year of a medical degree (apart from the insurance info.)
Plus I have more nutritional knowledge than any GP.

Trouble is sometimes you need them.

So I can understand your rant. Totally.

(BTW I am in a really bad mood because Saturn messed me right up natally and I only just found out.)

reply to post by spooky24


That was great! Doctors have done NOTHING for me in 20 years. I gave up on them a long time ago. My best moment in a doctor's office was when the receptionist mentioned she was going to make an appointment for me.
"I'll set you up for a colonoscopy with Dr. Wiener." (she pronounced it Wee-ner)
"Huh? Doctor Wiener?"
"Yes, how's the 23rd?"
"Let me get this straight. On the 23rd I'm going to get Wiener up my butt?"

She fought back the laughter.

If you think I'm kidding:

I was diagnosed with osteoporosis when I was 40 and I am a male.

So yes it can happen to men, and does so more often than you think. A lot of men have it and don't know because they're never tested. I wasn't tested until I fractured a vertebra for no reason.

It can be caused by environmental exposures, as in my case, not by the lack of calcium which is why women get it after menopause.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Loved the rant, well written.

But do the colonoscopy, okay? My aunt had no family history, no symptoms, nothing. One day she started having heartburn.....turned out to be end stage colon cancer. She had a horrible death.

Better to know you're fine than to go through that.

Colonoscopies don't always turn out okay. My ex-sister-in-law had a routine colonoscopy last year. I guess the tools weren't cleaned well enough. She got an infection and DIED.

Originally posted by jiggerj
reply to post by spooky24

 

That was great! Doctors have done NOTHING for me in 20 years. I gave up on them a long time ago. My best moment in a doctor's office was when the receptionist mentioned she was going to make an appointment for me.
"I'll set you up for a colonoscopy with Dr. Wiener." (she pronounced it Wee-ner)
"Huh? Doctor Wiener?"
"Yes, how's the 23rd?"
"Let me get this straight. On the 23rd I'm going to get Wiener up my butt?"

She fought back the laughter.

If you think I'm kidding:

I had to be admitted to the hospital once.

During the intake process, the nurse asked me if I needed anything special for religious purposes.

My response? Strychnine and rattlesnakes.

Bless her heart...she wrote it down!

Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Loved the rant, well written.

But do the colonoscopy, okay? My aunt had no family history, no symptoms, nothing. One day she started having heartburn.....turned out to be end stage colon cancer. She had a horrible death.

Better to know you're fine than to go through that.

Colonoscopies don't always turn out okay. My ex-sister-in-law had a routine colonoscopy last year. I guess the tools weren't cleaned well enough. She got an infection and DIED.

Thank you for further illustrating my point.

These tests should be completed when very specific criteria are met, not just because of the hell of it.

While dirty instrumentation is quite rare, bowel perferations, strictures and many other scenarios are not so uncommon. Doctors are not infallible and neither are all the other healthcare professionals.

People should really consider their options before putting complete trust into some doctors and the procedures they're recomending. I'm not saying they're all gold-diggers, but it's somewhat rare to find a physician who isn't concerned about his pocket.

I think I would have told the doc that I would do the butt test only if I he does it first.......If I recall you can tell him No and that shoudl of been the end of the conversation. I would of found one of those cards to fill out just to give him a peice of my mind.

Good luck on your next visit......Personaly I rather go to the dentist, they can only find so much wrong, as long as I eat something teeth no teeth thats fine with me.

Originally posted by jiggerj

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Loved the rant, well written.

But do the colonoscopy, okay? My aunt had no family history, no symptoms, nothing. One day she started having heartburn.....turned out to be end stage colon cancer. She had a horrible death.

Better to know you're fine than to go through that.

Colonoscopies don't always turn out okay. My ex-sister-in-law had a routine colonoscopy last year. I guess the tools weren't cleaned well enough. She got an infection and DIED.

Oh, I hate to hear this, Jiggerj.

Nevertheless, if my aunt had followed through with her recommended colonoscopy, they would have found the cancer and quite possibly have saved her life.

Originally posted by B1rd1nFL1ghT
reply to post by opethPA

 

Relax, deep breath in... big breath out.

That's what I did.

And he stab me, like a MF.

Then they want me to make another appointment??

Ha.

The first trip was too painful.

Debating on that, seeing as I"m stuck with him for 3 years after a contract.