I have a Bug Boy

Okay. I'm not squeamish about a lot of things. But one of the things that freak me out - are spiders. Most bugs I'm okay with. I've no compunction however to swat a fly, kill a mosquito, or squish a spider. I don't like them in my house.

My youngest son, is fascinated with bugs. Today, as nonchalant as could be - he comes in to show me his little black spider that's crawling around on his arm and hand. I freaked. Oh man, that is unsettling for me.

Now, he's catching everything under the sun and coming to show me his discovery. He's also watching very carefully, for my reaction to his findings. He wants to know if he can scare me with any other ones I guess. So far, I've successfully passed the zero-fear test with a box elder bug, ants, and a roly poly.

What is it though with his fascination - with trying to identify what scares me. I see the expectant glee on his face when he comes up to show me a bug. Then I see the crestfallen expression when it fails to "freak" me out as the spider did. It's interesting. I don't know what to make of it.

"I asked him. Why are you trying to scare mommy with bugs?" He just shrugged and said. "I like bugs. They don't scare me!"

Yeah, but they scare me! Well some of them, anyhow. Why does he want to scare me? Where is the benefit? Boys! *shakes head*

Blessings,
Cirque

reply to post by CirqueDeTruth


I'd say your son is trying to involve you in something he's interested in. that's a good thing, even if it grosses you out, and unless you are very very lucky, it will end about the time he gets into his teens.

Where about do you live? Do you have black widow spiders or anything dangerous? Might want to check that out before you have to take a trip to the doctor.

I'm a guy and some bugs freak me out too.

reply to post by phishyblankwaters


I live in Michigan. We have black widows and there are even reports of the brown recluse seen in these parts - but they are rare and still infrequent sightings up here.

I'm loathe to tell him to stop. I don't want to derail any of his interests or fail in letting his curiosity explore. I've yet to yell "Stop bringing me bugs!" I'm tolerating it. But just barely...



Cirque

At least you don't have these... we do occasionally.


fireflyforest.net...

reply to post by CirqueDeTruth


He's responding to his inner male calling to find some place he can be superior to you, to "best" you, his parent. Give in to him every now and then, and watch his confidence soar! It's like when you let them win at a boardgame (or don't let them win at a video game, and they genuinely beat you).....

By the same token, he's probably in the "girls, eewww" stage, so you're just another girl to be grossed out. Odd that nature does this to us as boys for a stage (makes us want to pick on girls), but it is probably a fail safe to keep us from having those other thoughts about girls until we're older....

Please get him a book with pictures or an insect manual that shows how to identify regular bugs from dangerous insects. Go over the pictures with him.

I wish someone had done that with me. I still remember a nasty nip from a centipede.

Something like The National Audubon Society Field Guide to North American Insects and Spiders.

Remember, Amphibians and Reptiles are next...

reply to post by CirqueDeTruth


my 3 year old is a bug girl, she is scared of spiders, but everything else is fair game. Black widows are very shy, hermit like spiders, i would worry too much about them, just tell him to never stick his hand were he cant see when he is looking for bugs. My little one is probably scared of spiders cause of how many black widows i do have in my area, its a large population, so even though there is a low chance of getting bit there is a moderate chance of coming across one. So even though i know the odds, i worry. So I have taught them that black widows are the devil and if you ever see one to run away and come find me so i can kill it, and make sure they know to never kill it themselves. I worked with a guy that squished a black widow with his hive tool, and the juice squirted in his eye, He almost lost his eye, and it was very painful. So in conclusion, Even tough black widows are dangerous in theory, they pretty much keep to themselves, just teach you kid to never stick his hand anywhere he cant see when he is looking for bugs, and to never kill a black widow, these two preventative measures almost ensures he will never be injured severly.

My neices little boy, loves to show me bugs. Once he learned that I'm afraid of spiders and centerpeeds and am grossed out by worms, he wouldn't show me those anymore. He'd warn me though if one was around. We share an interest in some bugs though. Some are rather interesting and even cute. LOL

He will be 5 this month and has been taught which bugs to stay away from like bees etc.

When I first read the title of your thread, I wondered what a 'bug boy' was. Thought it was some new game or some contraption to catch bugs or something.

I'm a boy

To scare mum as a kid is fun (as long as dad isn't there)

He's testing his boundaries, it's healthy.

I've fought various factions for my beliefs, and would do so again

Luckily they never thought to phone my mum and tell her , now that would have been a terrifying phone call to take.

Cody

Hey Cirque, be happy he hasnt brought you home one of these:

A large species of tarantula, roughly the size of a human face, has been discovered in Sri Lanka, Yahoo news has reported. And while the venom of the Poecilotheria rajaei is not lethal to humans, there is little doubt the abnormal size of the spider could be disturbing, even to those not afflicted with arachnophobia. The spider’s leg span is a reported nearly 20 centimeters, with researchers comparing its circumference with the size of a dinner plate. It’s covered in a variety of colors, including pink, yellow and gray.

Source


heh heh heh I'm soooo mean

reply to post by HomerinNC

roughly the size of a human face

What sadist uses a FACE for comparison! What the hell? Bad form! Bad form!

Well thanks a LOT Colby and Homerin. I really didn't need those mental images to fuel my dreams. EEekk!

That spider caused that involuntary heart stop in reaction and my stomach to clench. Dear lord, I couldn't live in Australia or South America. I'd lock myself in a white room for fear of those beasts!

I'm glad this seems to be a normal fascination - the wanting to scare Mama part. It makes me feel better that this is normal and about pushing boundaries. I just want to make sure that the wanting to "scare" - is normal. He's so little, it's hard to imagine or to think he's fascinated with the psychological reactions of people. Now that I've thought on it more - I know the scared reaction can be amusing for those who aren't scared. Remember shows like Punk'd and Scare tactics? Or even America's funniest home videos.

I'll definitely take your advice NightFlight and go to the book store for books on bugs and which and what to stay away from. I think he and his older brother would love it. And Doc, that's good advice to - teaching them not to stick their hands in places they can't see in search for bugs. Thanks guys.

I'm in for a ride! They make me go "wow" almost everyday - in some manner or another.

Cirque