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The battle between the Captain and the private (true story)

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posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 04:07 AM
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In the darkest part of the night, a ships captain cautiously piloted his warship through the fog-shrouded waters. With straining eyes he scanned the hazy darkness, searching for dangers lurking just out of sight.

Then His worst fears were realised when he saw a bright light straight ahead. It appeared to be a vessel on a collision course with his ship. To avert disaster he quickly radioed the oncoming vessel.

"This is Captain Jeremiah Smith," his voice crackled over the radio. "Please alter your course 10 degrees south! Over."

To the captains amazement, the foggy image did not move. Instead, he heard back on the radio, "Captain Smith. This is Private Thomas Johnson. please alter your course 10 degrees north! Over."

Appalled at the audacity of the message, the captain shouted back over the radio, "Private Johnson, this is Captain Smith, and I order you to immediately alter your course 10 degree south! Over."

A second time the oncoming light did not budge. "With all due respect Captain Smith," came the privates voice again, "I order you to alter your course immediately 10 degrees north! Over."

Angered and frustrated that this impudent sailor would endanger the lives of his men and crew, the captain growled back over the radio, "Private Johnson. I can have you court-marshalled for this! For the last time, I command you on the authority of the United States government to alter your course 10 degrees to the South! I am a battleship!"

The privates final transmission was chilling: "Captain Smith, sir. Once again with all due respect, I command you to alter your course 10 degrees to the North! I am a lighthouse!"





edit on 30-4-2013 by AthlonSavage because: (no reason given)




posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 04:21 AM
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reply to post by AthlonSavage
 


Being that I was an Enlisted Service Member in the USN and dealt with cocky officers before... HAHA man, thanks for this laugh. A light house... thats even better than the USN running into a Russian warship.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 06:13 AM
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post removed because the user has no concept of manners

Click here for more information.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 06:18 AM
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reply to post by ignorant_ape
 





a true story you say - i say utter bull# - and if you are offended - you should be - for believing such idiocy



hahahahahahahahaha tell someone who cares.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 06:22 AM
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reply to post by AthlonSavage
 


what - you mean you dont care that you lack the intelligence to deduce that this tail is utter twaddle - what a pathetic state of existance



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 06:43 AM
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reply to post by ignorant_ape
 


his story is entertaining and not too long, if you think its fake; dont tell the rest of the kids... it's the same as with santa clause... we all know its not likely, but what if...



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 08:12 AM
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Originally posted by ignorant_ape
reply to post by AthlonSavage
 


what - you mean you dont care that you lack the intelligence to deduce that this tail is utter twaddle - what a pathetic state of existance


It's joke that's been around for quite awhile, however I wouldn't be surprised if an exchange like this has actually happened.

Lighten up, Francis. Life is too short to be as pissed off at things as you seem to be.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 10:32 AM
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I love this joke!!!
Heard it many times before, ALWAYS gives me a chuckle



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 11:24 AM
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OP thanks for the post


When I originally heard the tale it not only mentioned the captain and the lighthouse keepers name but the battleships and the lighthouse involved as well. Not that it would make the tale any more creditable by doing so, it just made it more believable.

To bad some people can not see the humor of it all.

It's not my job to run this boat, the horn I cannot blow.
It's not my job to say how far this boat's allowed to go.
It's not my job to throttle up, or even clang the bell.
But let this damn boat hit the dock, and see who catches hell.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 11:10 PM
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the thing is - i would have just ignored it - but for one tiny detail , the claim of " true story " in the title - passing such utter idiocy off as a " true story " - vexes me - and it should annoy you to

if everyone else is fine with such behaviour - standards have slipped further than i thought possible

and if you actually believe this garbage to be true - then you are beyond help



posted on May, 1 2013 @ 11:18 AM
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Since you are so enraged, please prove that this isn't a true story.

Should be simple for you.



posted on May, 2 2013 @ 12:31 AM
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reply to post by secret titan
 


FFS - has logic died ? - the burden of prof lies with the positive claimant - do you understand that ?

i swear - comprehension of formal logic should be a prerequisite for ATS mmbership

before i continue - a question - do you really believe this idiocy is true - or are you just trolling ?

but in no particular orde - the highlights - none of the tail actually stands any scrutiny - but these 2 kill it dead :


he saw a bright light straight ahead. It appeared to be a vessel on a collision course with his ship.


no one fit to be left unsupervised could posible mistake a light house for another vessel

i cannot believe that i have to educate people on the characteristics of light houses - but here goes :

the light houses of south africa

please review the " table " - and " map "

each lighthouse has a "signiture " that means that with a stopwatch - it can be identified by consultng the local chart or a naval almanac

here is a video :



see the staggered flashes ? 2 seconds then 5 seconds - that INSTANTLY identifies the lighthouse

next - there are internationally agreed radio procedures - that include ALL stations identifying themselves at the start of every exchange

which would obviously kill this tail as soon as the alledged light house came on air

lastly - " Captain Jeremiah Smith " is a google freindly term - if this was a true story it would be easy to locate the origional source

but all we get are church sites and joke pages - sometimes indistigushable - repaaeating this tail .

now do you understand why this lail is fantasy ?
edit on 2-5-2013 by ignorant_ape because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 3 2013 @ 02:02 AM
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It is a great story. It illustrates human frailties and ego. It allows us to laugh at ourselves. I have also seen it as a YouTube Video and that also was very funny. Lets not confuse truth with reality.



posted on May, 3 2013 @ 07:43 AM
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Originally posted by ignorant_ape


before i continue - a question - do you really believe this idiocy is true - or are you just trolling ?



I believe the story is plausible. There is nothing in the story that states which era this may have taken place in. Maybe it actually took place in another country and in translation they decided to change the names.

Yes, I KNOW it's intended as a joke. It is a possible true story which names were changed to protect the innocent. Even comedians will tell funny stories that happen to them, which happen to be true.

Maybe, just maybe, it's time you un-pucker a bit. It isn't like the OP made claims that a rock was a life form or that the government is never telling the truth. This thread isn't in Breaking News or any other place that even hints that this isn't meant to be taken as a joke. The only part you have an issue with is that in the title he claims that this is a true story which it could be. Maybe you're mad that you "wasted" time reading this only to find out it was a joke. If you have as much of a problem with it as you seem to, perhaps you should alert the mods and have the thread moved instead of ruining a lighthearted thread with such hatred.



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