Self Indulgent pity party...wanna join me??

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posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:22 PM
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I am heartbroken. I feel like such a wuss. In 26 days my only child, my pride and joy will be graduating from high school and in 4 months from now she will be leaving for college. I just want to cry all of the time.

She is a good kid. She is stubborn. She is smart. She is independent. She is loving. She is spoiled rotten. She is my entire heart and soul.

Why am I so sad? I cannot imagine my house without her. She is rarely home now, usually only long enough to shower and sleep, and sometimes eat. She works after school, has friends and a boyfriend, so seriously I see her a few minutes before bed each day.
BUT she comes home. She sleeps here (when she is not with her friends) and brings me her laundry.
She is in and out and it is a crazy comfortable normal for us. BUT soon, she wont come home. She will be going to college parties and ballgames and living her life.

I want a do-over. I want my baby back. I want Saturday morning snuggle time while we watch cartoons. I want bath time where I fill the tub with bubbles and she plays until the water gets cold. I want fish sticks and mac and cheese every night for dinner because that is all she would eat. I want trips to the zoo. I want nightly story time. I want to play Barbies and dollhouse and candyland. I want to do all of the things I took for granted and did not appreciate while I had them.

This is the hardest part of being a mom. You spend 18 years giving your baby wings and one day they fly away.

I am proud of her for making the choice to go to a great college and live in the dorms. I am proud of her for wanting to be an asset to society and not a drain on it. I am proud of her for being such a blasted good kid.

I am just a mushy, gushy, mess. I do not know how I will make it through her graduation without totally embarrassing her by crying the whole time.

ANyone been through this? I hear so many people say , I can't wait for my kid to leave the house...

I am thinking I am abnormal.



edit on 29-4-2013 by k21968 because: (no reason given)




posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:29 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


sounds like you are in need of grand children then you can do that stuff all over again . I know I am happy went we send the kids off to grand parents for a night or two



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:36 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


Get a puppy.
It will fill the void.



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:39 PM
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Originally posted by grey580
reply to post by k21968
 


Get a puppy.
It will fill the void.


I second that



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:40 PM
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reply to post by freedomSlave
 


I dont want grandchildren until she is done with college. She is our only child.



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:42 PM
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reply to post by grey580
 


I have one and he does to a point. But he hates baths and fishsticks and when I read to him.


NO seriously, I do have a fur baby named Clyde. He was found as a teeny puppy wandering on the interstate and I stopped and dodged traffic to save him. He is dauchsaund/jack russell mix. He is the cutest little guy and so very sweet.

Its not the same.

I told you I am really pitiful tonight. sorry.



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 08:57 PM
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Oh guys I feel like a real schmuck. I asked this to be deleted because a few threads down there is one from a man who lost his infant daughter and here i am whining that mine is grown up. I am such a fool. Anyway...just reading his post made me get off of my pity train and realize how fortunate I am. I am such a jerk.

I am so sorry. I never would intentionally hurt anyone. i pray this is deleted before it is seen and hurts someone.



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 09:00 PM
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I went through this very same thing just a year ago.

She and I sat at the table doing her hair and nails for graduation and I said "look at you, all grown up" and I cried. She said "oh, mom and gave me a big hug.

I moved her to college, and bawled when I got home. She tells me stories of the college parties (in the back of my head I said to myself I don't want be hearing this). She brings me laundry every weekend or two, and we talk on the phone almost every day. She is homesick, and I am sad she is not home every day.

I tell her it is time for her to start her life, but I say "you know where we are if you need us"

And I am proud of her.



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 09:09 PM
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Hmm,.
couldnt wait for my teen to move out,.
typical boy,. but a dam good kid
made him pay for his own college, get his own apartment,.and pay for all his means of transportation
.
Now it is payin off,. has a job as a plant supervisor( of course I helped with that) and he will be graduating with a degree in
mechanical engineer... he is 23

They need their shove into the real world,. be proud and suck up the tears,. time to cut the cord.
edit on 29-4-2013 by Lil Drummerboy because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 09:28 PM
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Originally posted by k21968
reply to post by freedomSlave
 


I dont want grandchildren until she is done with college. She is our only child.


Do not be sad. Be elated. You have completed your primary purpose in life, as defined by biology. The little birdy is leaving the nest! Thank goodness your child has grown into an intelligent young woman.

I have a 1.5 year old -- I've already practically forgot what to do when I have time to myself. I think this is time you've earned and deserve (the next handful of years). You can live it up again, so long as you're willing to remember how to have me time!

Remember that this is also an exciting time for her. Those years when a young person has gained that level of independence... and are young and healthy... it's a beautiful thing. She will have wonderful experiences. Be elated!

Turn this pity party into a party party!
edit on 4/29/2013 by AkumaStreak because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 09:50 PM
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I also posted in the thread about the couple that lost their child . You have no reason to feel bad ! It sounds like You did an Amazing job of raising an intelligent , active , hard working daughter and You should be very proud of yourself !!



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 10:27 PM
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reply to post by k21968
 


Awwww ((( Hug ))) from another Mommy of an only daughter too.......remember to bring kellnex and dab at her Graduation...
It's a new chapter in both your lives...and bitter / sweet to be sure........



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 10:27 PM
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dp
edit on 29-4-2013 by MountainLaurel because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 29 2013 @ 10:32 PM
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Boy oh boy, do I know where you're coming from. My only child is just 11, but I already miss those days when she was into Disney princesses and was begging me to let her sleep with me. I am trying to relish these days when she still wants to do stuff with me, because I know when she gets in her teens, she will be too busy for me.


Yes, it is devastating to hear when someone has lost their baby, and it makes one feel guilty for ever complaining of how difficult it can be to raise a child, because at least we have a child to raise. But, life does go on for the rest of the world -- so I think it's okay to whine just a little.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 04:18 AM
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Empty nest syndrome Mom. I loved your mini-picture of her childhood, sounds wonderful. So hard to let go of them. Such a time/heart investment. I hear you. You got her ready to fly and with all your heart you want her to soar, but you just aren't ready to let go. ((hugs)). She will still bring you her laundry, at least for a while. It won't hurt like this forever. You will make it through this.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 05:30 AM
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reply to post by k21968
 


Awwww, momma, it'll be okay.

My wife was the same way with our oldest son, and she's already fighting on letting go of our youngest.

You may not have the fish sticks anymore, but a whole new opportunity to create new memories will come about.




posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 07:20 AM
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Although I miss my boys, especially now that one is out of state, it does get easier. You find more things to do with your time. Now, I can actually sit on the couch and read a book, not having to get dinner if I don't feel like cooking. No running every night for basketball or something. And more time for spontaneous snuggle time with the hubby.

I love them more than life itself, but glad I'm youngish enough to enjoy them being out of the house.



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 08:13 AM
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Look on the bright side....at least it isn't.....

When they come home, have no job, no direction, no skills, no ambition, and even with a free roof over their head and free food on the table, cable TV and video games to play...life is still "spiraling into a dark abyss" or some other lame goth crap.....



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 08:27 AM
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reply to post by k21968
 
Don't worry! By the time you get used to it and really start enjoying the freedom and time to "do your own thing" the kids come back- and they bring grandbabies with them! You get to start all over, only this time around you have more patience, more money and you get to be a kid all over again yourself!



posted on Apr, 30 2013 @ 09:22 AM
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Yeah...my princess will be 16 this year. I've been raising her on my own her entire life...and even though there have been days where I was ready for my job to be over, I always snap back at the thought of her being gone and not needing me anymore...and it makes me sad and makes me wonder what i will do with myself when she leaves the nest. She's a daddy's girl though, so I guess she will always need me in some way or another.

Having a kid that loves school more than I did is a real eye opener. I used to dread getting up in the morning for school...and my parents would have to literally drag me out of bed some mornings. This kid....for years she has gotten up and gotten ready on her own...she's out the door without any help for me since the 6th grade. Straight a's and extremely logical...all things I wasn't at her age. I'm so proud of her.

I know that day will come. She will be ready to assume responsibility for her owñ life...and I will only be in the background. I spent all of my twenties being a single parent...and she tells me that when she goes off to school I can have my twenties back. So I guess 39 will be the new 19...for me at least. It will be the start of a whole new adventure.

On a side note, at my wizened old age of 35, I can say without reservation that having a child at a young age, while difficult and challenging to deal with...it matures you in ways that nothing else can. In many ways, you raise each other. The last 16 years have been harder than I could have ever imagined...but I wouldn't give up my experiences or my child for anything in existence because the last 16 years have also been more fulfilling than I could have ever imagined.

OP, you're probably facing what I'm expecting to face. I've spent so much time being "parent James" that I'm not sure what to expect when I'm just James again. Oh well...it will be what it will be. You've done your job well. Now it is time to celebrate by getting to know yourself again.

And I don't know if ill ever be ready to be called grandpa. Nope, that doesn't work for me yet. In time perhaps.

--J





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