Coaching or Being Coached

I actually wrote an entire book about this topic in my dream. This is just a small sampling.

One night, recently, I had a very interesting dream I decided to share. The topic is somewhat innocuous yet applies to life in a unique way; coaching, being a coach or coached.

There are different ways coaching or being coached play a part in all of our daily lives; as individuals and as groups or teams.

I found myself in the dream being a coach of a team and trying to teach the fundamentals of a team concept while allowing for individual personalities to exist.

Many people understand the concept of being a team, but have trouble with handling their individual ego’s in a team concept.

I am sure you have all heard the phrase, “there is no I in team”, but I think this is understating the real meaning of team.

My dream revealed this; there are 5 fingers on each hand, simple right? The ability for each finger to work as a single unit exist, but is very limited. The thumb can only do certain things by itself, the index finger can only do certain things, etc.
Each finger has a separate personality and a name, but together they are a hand (team). There are dominant and passive qualities. For the purpose of this demonstration I will offer my opinion of each finger and the role they play.

The thumb: Dominant.

Not much you can do without a thumb. Picking things up becomes very difficult. Writing is extremely hard. Eating with utensils…in general, most anything you do becomes extremely difficult without a thumb, possible to adapt, but certainly not easy to overcome the loss of a thumb.

The index finger: Dominant.

The index finger is the guider. If you lose the index finger it is still possible to do certain things, but they become unstable and erratic.

The middle finger: Dominant.

The use of this finger is for balance. You can still balance without it, but the strength is reduced. It is usually the longest finger and gives support to the other fingers.
The ring finger: Passive.

Being the ring finger is simple. You can wear rings on any finger, but they give this finger the distinction because it doesn’t really do anything but offer emotional support. You can still do many tasks without it.

The pinky (little) finger: Passive.

This finger has the distinction of being the smallest. It has a very important role though, while passive it still has a supportive quality. You can function without it, but that little guy gives an emotional boost. Very little ego and eager to please.

Each finger has a job to do. Together they can do much more. They are the perfect team if they understand their role in the hand, if the pinky tries to do what the thumb does it will be severely disappointed. It is very important to recognize limitations and not create false expectations for fingers as individuals in order for the hand (team) to function at a high efficiency.



We have many different forms of teams; sports, corporate, medical, emergency, relationships (family), etc.

They all require each finger working together for them to be efficient. They can still function, but at what level depends on the ability of each individual to accept their proper role.

Who decides what role? The coach. The coach is not always right, but they are the one with a plan on how to accomplish the goal and have been given the responsibility to implement their own philosophy on how to achieve said goal.

A good coach knows how to listen and adjust to situations, but even they lose control over their ego and insist on “beating a dead horse” rather than change direction and admit the way they are doing things is not working.

Some people are comfortable being coaches and others are not suited for it. It takes a strong personality to be able to take criticism and make adjustments or to be able to resist the temptation to change directions when there is still a chance to get there using the same path.
Ultimately the goal is always the same regardless of the team concept you are involved with, we have many situations daily in all of our lives that mimic the concept; winning is not the goal.

Learning and achieving are not always about “winning a game”. The trick to being a good coach is knowing that there are more important aspects to focus on first, before you can win you have to know how to lose.

Obviously, there are team concepts that are considerably more important in every day life than playing sports, but sports are a way to teach children the value of a team concept while allowing them to be individuals.

There are many lessons in life to learn, some positive lessons have negative consequences and some negative lessons have positive consequences, a good coach will help you recognize those circumstances.

Take a moment sometime in the near future and evaluate yourself and the role (finger) you play in various situations; be honest with your self.


Are there behaviors that you can change or enhance to help the team? Are you in the right role? Does your coach listen to you? If not how can you change that? When we feel we are not being given the chance to show what we can do, we are often mistaken of the motives of others.

Actions speak louder than words. If you want to be recognized as the leader you have to act like one.

I have been in many different roles throughout my life and I have been on many different teams. I have not always agreed with my coach or played the role I was given if I felt slighted.

This life we live is full of obstacles to overcome for a reason. Life is not supposed to be easy. The goal is always the same, leave this world in a better place than you found it. Learn the lessons you are being taught, but don’t be afraid to be an individual in a team concept and don’t forget you are part of a team that requires cooperation in order to achieve.

Soul