posted on May, 5 2013 @ 06:03 PM
I was raised without any religion, other than the times I attended church with friends.
I've had ONE spanking by my father with a belt when I was very young, and to say the least he never had to spank me again for the rest of my young
years. I always respected him and it wasn't just out of fear, even though I did fear him spanking me again. He was very loving and spent a lot of
time with me, so I respected him. Out of respect for my father and more of a fear of disappointing him, I chose to do my best to stay out of trouble.
I did not however. I was rebellious and did not always behave, but this was only because there just wasn't anyone around to keep an eye on me, I had
a little too much freedom to do things I shouldn't have been.
My mother & father divorced when I was 10 and she absolutely stopped being around by the time myself and my brothers were 12 or so. She NEVER
disciplined us. Other than a few bouts of verbal abuse out of rage and I didn't respect that. When she said NO, to me that meant I had a long hard
battle ahead, but I would definitely still be able to get what I wanted...one way or the other. She often times would completely lose her temper with
us and act out in anger which always ended up in some completely inappropriate action. Nevertheless, she did her best I suppose, she was a single
mother and often times had to work 2 jobs. I do not think that is an excuse for not being around, because I believe we could have gotten by with less
and she most certainly had things I never had as a single mother.
As a young single mother of 3 very small children, I began to raise them on my own and made my decisions about discipline based on my own life
experience. I am a Christian, with a strong faith in God and raised my children to believe the same. I felt this was the most important thing for
them, to help them to understand the world they would live in. This generation IMHO need to be educated about good and evil and what these end times
are going to bring to the table.
I spanked hands when they were small and were getting into things that would hurt them, I spanked little legs (just enough) when they began to rebel
against my authority and would not do what they were told. Then when they were a little older I got a paddle. I had a constant awareness and fear of
DCS or someone else accusing me of abusing my children because I spanked. So, each school year when they brought home all the paperwork, I found the
slip I had to sign that said whether or not it was okay for them to be paddled. I always signed yes, and then marked "please call me first", even
though I expected them to behave when I wasn't around, I always wanted to be the final word in my child's discipline. I always figured if the
"school" thought paddling was okay, then I would be safe to do the same.
I always kept the paddle put up, because it can become extremely frustrating to raise three children alone along with all the other pressures in
life...work, bills, etc. I always wanted to make sure that whenever I did have to administer the "licks" with the paddle, that it wasn't out of
anger. Having to go get the paddle assured me I had time to cool off a bit...and they had to go to their room and wait on me, which gave them a chance
to "think about what they did". I rarely had to use that paddle, and when I did we talked about it, but they always knew it was there and they
would have consequences for their actions. I loved them with every ounce of my being, and they KNEW this and also understood that I was administering
justice because I loved them and wanted them to learn self discipline, control, respect and to follow rules. I allowed my kids to express themselves,
and we talked about anything openly. (I did not have that growing up, and it was needed)
I refused to work more than one job, I made sure I was home every night...took all my vacation time when they were out of school and we sat down and
ate dinner and talked each evening when work and school were done. I had to sacrifice a lot to make ends meet, they did without a lot because we
simply didn't have extra $$. They did play sports and had all the things they NEEDED. This was the single most important thing I did raising my
children. They learned to play outside ALL day, they appreciated Friday nights when I actually went through a drive-thru and allowed them to order
anything they wanted (from the $1 menu ha ha) and we spent $5 bucks renting one dollar movies and had "family time" for hours together.
My oldest son watched out for the other 2, which was a huge help to me. He played with them and they "created" games because they didn't have cable
TV or computers. They shared 1 video game, and did NOT get to play anything that had an "M" rating, or that was violent. They have the tightest bond
I've ever seen, and thank me all the time for not spoiling them. They turned out great, not perfect but well adjusted and Happy I don't fear them
or worry they will be on CNN