Pick one of these.. to be your Facebook status update.. and tell me Why?

My dog is cooler than most people.
I make love like I use semicolons; rarely and probably incorrectly.
I haven’t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn’t blue.
You say “it’s complicated”, I think “you’re unstable”.
I’m that horrible friend who reads your text then puts the phone down to do something and forgets to reply until 4 hours later.
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
If my calculations are correct, and they usually are, I ran out of money six years ago.
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.
I’m responsible for what I say…not for what you understand.
Love doesn’t walk away, people do.
Did I un-jam the copier? Yes. Does that make me a hero? Not for me to say. But probably.
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
Calling someone “stupid” is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it’s just a diagnosis.
If it takes you more than an hour to answer a text message I will assume that you’re dead.
I wonder if dog’s had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture.
You know when you recognize someone but don’t know if they remember you and they feel the same way so you try not to look at each other?
When people try extra hard to cover the keypad as they enter their pin at the ATM, I always want to whisper, “I saw it” when they’re done.
It’s not really stalking if you don’t catch me doing it.
Stop being afraid of what could go wrong and think of what could go right.

reply to post by darrman


Facebook has status updates now?

Wait till this hits the internet.. oO

(ps chucked out loud at the "Guess What" one. lol)

hehe! liked the sonic reference

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.

The above would be my pick if I used Facebook. I like sarcastic wit and can appreciate it when it is done well. I am also know to be a wee bit sarcastic myself.

Is my choice now going to say that I would be the perfect lover for Jim Jones or that I am too dependent on my dog for company humans should be giving me?

reply to post by darrman

I haven't been on Facepalm since ATS went down, but I think I could use this one...

If my calculations are correct, and they usually are, I ran out of money six years ago.

I also like this one.

If you really want to get to know someone, start arguing with them.

It reminds me of my favorite philosopher, Anon.

"Happiness is not having what you want, it's wanting what you have" -Anon.

I make love like I use semicolons; rarely and probably incorrectly.


I find this one funny and sadly true.

I got one.....It says whats on your mind in your status box......

How could you tell whats on your mind if you have lost it???

I'm considering "my dog is cooler than most" with a picture of my cat.
I have face book and have never posted a status.

reply to post by darrman

You say “it’s complicated”, I think “you’re unstable”.

Boo frickin' Hoo.... Can't stand emo wussies who even when they have it good, they think everything is sooooo dark and swirling out of control or into a deep chasm or some other poetic BS....

Get the frick over it, pull up your big boy underoos, and get back to life with the normies you dolt!

Take my stepson for example... He's 18, no job, lives in a nice house with us (with cable, video games, etc.), can even go out back and ride horses, and yet he posts drivel like the above on Facebook. Really? Has no idea how lucky he is, but everything is sooooo dark... Boo frickin' Hoo, stop it, just stop it.