Raw

I recently had someone fault my writing by stating I needed to learn how to properly edit my writing and suggested I take a creative writing class as well. The rebel in me was instantly activated and I wrote the following:

“Form, pattern, and template,”
shout the craftsmen!
“Measure and weigh once more!
Be sure it’s the same as the one before!”

The stern school master
demands proper grammar
and drives home punctuation
with a rusty hammer.

Iambic pentameter,
why do you fear and hate,
everything you can’t
dominate or domesticate?

Is it anger or fear,
of what is raw and untamed,
that cause you to blaspheme
and demand to be in control?

Metaphor what makes you think
somehow you’re better than a simile?
You are a bully who sits at the back of the class
and acts just like an ass.

Mentor, teacher, artist and poet
Please don’t tell me how it has to be.
Don’t be frightened or angry
if I do it differently.

Teach me how to be bold,
to break the mold,
to not obey what I’ve been told
and escape this prison
before I grow too old.

You will find the grammar police are alive and well on ATS, Now and again they rant. My attitude is meh. Plenty of artists go outside the box on purpose for effect. If your communicating your message, that is what matters. Let the editors worry about technicalities, they cannot create.

reply to post by Iamschist

Legalism is such a trap! The idea that if you always follow the "rules" you are communicating. Even with perfect "grammar" not everyone will get what you are trying to communicate. Thanks for you comments. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

reply to post by grayeagle


Heres a simple rule. You cannot teach artistic expression, nor any form it takes. Wether you make marks on canvas with a brush, or make words dance to the rythmn of your soul, your art is your own. It is of yourself, and as unique as your fingerprint or your DNA.

Wether people LIKE it is another matter entirely. I happened to quite enjoy your poem, so you must be doing something right!

reply to post by grayeagle


grayeagle, I love it! I enjoy everything you write. Those of us that come here to the short stories forum may not all be professional writers and such but when we write, most of us are usually writing from the heart and proper grammar and punctuation is the least of it...we are using our imaginations and trying to relay a message or idea or to just write to bring joy or to engage others. It is the message that is important.

I know, sometimes when I am writing something, I want to put forth the story or poem or idea quickly and hope that someone enjoys what I have to say. I think folks that criticize often, may be good at the mechanics of writing but lack imagination and present material that falls flat in some regards. If we come here, happy in our hearts while writing and sharing, that is what counts the most. Blessings and hugs to you my friend.

reply to post by shrevegal


Thanks always for your kind words. I have been tossing an idea around in my mind as to why some people are so upset and unforgiving of perceived improper grammar and spelling. I recently posted in another thread that research has shown the human mind can decipher words that are totally jumbled, especially if the words begin and end with the right letters. I am wondering if there are some people that have extra sensitive filters that don't allow their brains to decipher and comprehend. Part of it could also be OCD where everything has to be just right or it makes them really anxious. Whatever the case may be they certainly have a passion about it.

reply to post by grayeagle


That was awesome grayeagle. I enjoyed this one. I do not think grammar should matter at all when you are writing from your heart, sometimes I don't know how to spell certain words, but I feel it makes it more unique.
Some people just don't know true art in my little ole humble opinion
Keep up your great writing, I sure always enjoy. I really need to start writing my poems again. I have been writing some here and there, but they are too personal to share
Hope you have a lovely evening friend

peace and love
~nat the blue eyed cat~

reply to post by natalia


Thanks Nat! Your words always encourage me! It is hard to share personal thoughts especially if there is a fear others may come down on it hard or misunderstand it. I recently wrote about the Conundrum of Being Awake and I had someone contact me and was concerned that I was suicidal and suggested I seek counseling. People can get very anxious when you share really honest and raw emotion.
If you ever want to share something you have written and are afraid to post it, please feel free to u2u me and I will handle it with all respect and confidentiality. I use to be a counselor!