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Apocalyptic Story? Crime story? HELP ME OUT HERE!

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posted on Apr, 22 2013 @ 10:57 AM
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Alright... so, as some of you know, I have a hobby of drawing manga stories.

I'm having a SERIOUS mental block.

I have three primary stories, and I don't know which one I should focus on right now. I've tried working on more than one story at once, it never ends well.

So, as a self-indulgent thread, I will post Pictures of the characters of these three stories, and the summaries of the stories. And you tell me which ones you like the best, which ones you believe I should work on, which ones have the most potential in your opinion, and... I'm open to ideas.



First story; Las Senturas.

Here's a few pics of Jewel, the center protagonist of the story.




^ This pic is pretty old. She's not actually that skinny.




^ This is an older pic too. Again, she's no anywhere NEAR that skinny.




^ This is a more recent picture of her, and what she ACTUALLY looks like... although usually, she wears more clothes than this. She's usually in this outfit, plus a black trench coat, spikes, and fingerless gloves.

Jewel is my oldest character--made her when I was ten years old. She's my alter ego. Las Senturas is my oldest story, and I've attempted it many times, but I never deemed it "good enough."

Storyline; Jewel is a parentless sixteen year old in a city rarely heard of, Las Senturas. A city run by and eaten alive with crime, Jewel lives with a thirty year old laid back pot head named Ryan, a Mexican street racer named Antonio, and a maniacly bi-polar individual who has an odd obsession with fireworks, Leo. All of them have something in common--they have no relatives, they don't respect the law, and they break the rules to put food on the table.

Jewel, though she sometimes partakes in petty theft or minor crimes (usually minor, anyway), and despite her rough battle-hardened disposition, she is generally a good hearted person. She, along with her thug friends, have formed a rag-tag gang in Las Senturas, in the ghetto, on a road called Williams Street. They, all favoring the color blue, call themselves the Casscovves.

One day, while Jewel and her people are planning to steal and sell some yay (coc aine) from a drug church, Jewel meets a young pastor named Karazy, who is an uncommonly kind guy, and who seems to have a surprising talent with throwing knives. Karazy, who also has no family, joins the Casscovves, and he and Jewel become best friends (Ehehehe).

Soon after, Jewel meets (and assists) a mysterious and eccentric Chinese man named Li Soo Young. After she helps him without receiving any kind of threat or bribe, Li Soo Young becomes compelled by Jewel, and offers her a partnership within the Las Senturas Fou Shu Triads, believing her to be "the only trustworthy partner he'd ever hope to have." Li turns out to be the leader of these Triads, and he owns a good deal of the business that keeps Las Senturas afloat. He's also strangely calm and kind for a crime lord, and doesn't enjoy the use of prostitution as one of his means for profit (though he is in favor of gun smuggling and certain types of extortion). He has an odd moral stance regarding his position of power, and he believes himself to be a "parallel president." Meaning, he has all the powers the government has, but on the opposite side of the scale, and he believes he has just as much potential to do good as any law enforcement agency (who he doesn't trust, and rightfully so).

So, the story centers around the Casscovves, enduring countless adventures and saving (or condemning) lives all around, constantly having their morals and loyalty tested as an angry police officer named Randy, who seems to be obsessed with the Casscoves, is always on their tail.




^ An older picture of Jewel and Karazy




^ An older picture of Karazy with his throwing knives




^ A chibi drawing of Jewel and Karazy




^ An older picture of Jewel, walking around Las Senturas




^ An older picture of officer Randy Goldman, ranting about something he read in the newspaper




^ An old pic of Antonio, Ryan, and Leo in Antonio's lowrider. Antonio is in the driver seat, Ryan in the passenger seat, and Leo in the back seat.




^ A recent pic of Jewel




^ An old picture of Jewel and Li Soo Young




^ Li Soo Young's casino, his headquarters of operations. The Blue Dragon.




^ Jewel wearing a cool outfit for a Halloween party

Sorry to post so many Las Senturas pictures. Its my oldest story, and obviously the one I've most dedicated myself to. Alrighty then...

Story # 2-- Viator.

This story revolves around Taizela, an innocent little fifteen year old girl who has a strange ability; she's bulletproof. After being raised by her best friend, a mad scientist named Doctor Jones, the two of them accidently send the philosopher's stone through time and space, and with the use of Doc's new invention, the Viator, which is a time machine, they must leap through time and space looking for the stone before it falls into the wrong hands.

Taizela and Doc's present is our future--the Fallout world, the world after the war destroyed everything. So, they encounter mutants, rebels, maniacs, and wicked men in suits. As they leap through time and pick up friends, Taizela learns the darker truths of humanity, and understands why a world wide democide took place before she was born.

I've already finished the first volume of this story, its the one I'm currently working on.




^ Doc, Taizela, and the Viator.




^ Doc and Taizela, who have the coolest father daughter/best friend relationship ever, both of them being totally eccentric and off-the-wall.




^ Doc activating the Viator as he prepares to leap through time for the first time ever.




^ The first appearance of Syckus, a wicked hearted reptilian who, at first, is looking for the philosopher's stone... but later becomes more interested in Taizela.

This story is gonna cross a lot of different places and scenarios, and its very Doctor Who and Back to the Future inspired. I have some serious plans for it.

Story # 3 - Doomsday by Design.

Out of the three, this is the one I'm least prepared for. Its fairly new.

The story revolves around Sandra, a deviant high school rebel with anger issues, who loves conspiracy theorizing, although she seems to hate everyone else. After a nuclear war breaks out, she and her classmates must escape the school and reach her doomsday-prepping uncle's bunker. Afterwards, they emerge only to find their world entirely destroyed, and Sandra must lead her new family through the new age, a chaotic apocalyptic world.

I don't have many solid character designs on ATS for my doomsday characters, but I have a couple sketches of Sandra.







This thread was exhausting to put together. So...

Feedback, ATS?




edit on 22-4-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)




posted on Apr, 22 2013 @ 01:51 PM
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Also, I wanted to add that ALL of these stories involve conspiracies and things of that nature. All of them will reference false flags, democide, and so on.

I want my stories to have bits and pieces of "eye opening" in them.

Otherwise, they'd be brainwash, like any other comic.


EDIT; Wow... no feedback, guys? That's cold. Where's all the writers today?



edit on 22-4-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)



posted on Apr, 22 2013 @ 05:01 PM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 



I would say I am most interested by your crime and post apocalyptic ideas. Its not that the time travel one is a lesser beast, its just personal preference. However, I should point out that the crime story is the one I think you should work on to completion. Its obvious that you have invested a lot of time and effort into it already, it seems to have the most flesh on it, and it has great potential. Also, the designs I am seeing for your protagonist in that story seem more... animated if you will, than those of your other works right now.

Incidentally, I am not saying that theres something missing from your more recent ideas, but the one that really jumps off the screen at me is the vision you express in that crime based theme.

So ends my wittering! Good luck choosing!



posted on Apr, 22 2013 @ 09:16 PM
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Originally posted by TrueBrit
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 



I would say I am most interested by your crime and post apocalyptic ideas. Its not that the time travel one is a lesser beast, its just personal preference. However, I should point out that the crime story is the one I think you should work on to completion. Its obvious that you have invested a lot of time and effort into it already, it seems to have the most flesh on it, and it has great potential. Also, the designs I am seeing for your protagonist in that story seem more... animated if you will, than those of your other works right now.

Incidentally, I am not saying that theres something missing from your more recent ideas, but the one that really jumps off the screen at me is the vision you express in that crime based theme.

So ends my wittering! Good luck choosing!


You're so right... Las Sentruas has been around for ten years or so. My oldest story.

I guess the reason I haven't touched on Las Senturas for a while is because I don't want to do anything to mess it up, or "come up short" in making the story. Its extremely important to me.

Thanks for the feedback.



posted on Apr, 23 2013 @ 02:59 AM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


I understand what you mean. All the creative types I know, musicians, artists, poets, writers, they all have the same issue with a work they care about, and that is resolving the desire to complete a work, without fiddling with it to the point where it becomes over complicated.

I think you just need to know where its going, how its getting there, and have the will to do it. You have to channel Devin Townsend and just say to yourself "LETS FINISH THIS!"

www.youtube.com...




posted on May, 14 2013 @ 05:39 AM
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Originally posted by TrueBrit
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


I understand what you mean. All the creative types I know, musicians, artists, poets, writers, they all have the same issue with a work they care about, and that is resolving the desire to complete a work, without fiddling with it to the point where it becomes over complicated.

I think you just need to know where its going, how its getting there, and have the will to do it. You have to channel Devin Townsend and just say to yourself "LETS FINISH THIS!"

www.youtube.com...




YYYYYEEEAP.

I've got a lot of fanfiction mangas pending too, that I REALLY wanna get started.

Ever feel like you're trying to do too much at once? Between drawing ten different stories, finishing school, trying to work up the money to pay off my car AND study for a driving test?



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 06:21 AM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

YYYYYEEEAP.

I've got a lot of fanfiction mangas pending too, that I REALLY wanna get started.

Ever feel like you're trying to do too much at once? Between drawing ten different stories, finishing school, trying to work up the money to pay off my car AND study for a driving test?


Good lord! Dear Lady, there is a fine line between prolific production speed, and self torture. Be sure to remain on the healthy side of that eh? When I was comming out of school, the only thing I was intent on doing was getting a job, and writing bad poems lol. I still dont drive at the grand age of 28 !

Remember, there are plenty of days left to fill with art and inspiration. You dont have to do it ALL at once!



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 07:39 AM
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Originally posted by TrueBrit

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

YYYYYEEEAP.

I've got a lot of fanfiction mangas pending too, that I REALLY wanna get started.

Ever feel like you're trying to do too much at once? Between drawing ten different stories, finishing school, trying to work up the money to pay off my car AND study for a driving test?


Good lord! Dear Lady, there is a fine line between prolific production speed, and self torture. Be sure to remain on the healthy side of that eh? When I was comming out of school, the only thing I was intent on doing was getting a job, and writing bad poems lol. I still dont drive at the grand age of 28 !

Remember, there are plenty of days left to fill with art and inspiration. You dont have to do it ALL at once!


I'm just worried, cause... you never know which day is gonna be your last, ya know? I wanna create it all.

I'm healthy I guess... I only take four stok shots with each coffee. Stok shots are little caffeine shots you're only supposed to have 2 of a day.


I'm trying really hard to relax too.... doesn't sound that way, but I AM!



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 08:40 AM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX


I'm just worried, cause... you never know which day is gonna be your last, ya know? I wanna create it all.

I'm healthy I guess... I only take four stok shots with each coffee. Stok shots are little caffeine shots you're only supposed to have 2 of a day.


I'm trying really hard to relax too.... doesn't sound that way, but I AM!


Sounds about as relaxing as trying to sip a rum and coke in the middle of a moshpit to be honest!
I have no idea how you can control a pencil with that much caffine in your system... I mean... thats STAGGERING!



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 08:58 AM
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Just a thought many stories that have some element of historical truth seem to go together a little easier. Triad .....Might get the group involved..... how some Cartel has cheated the casino and Li out of payments for the last batch of chemicals they supplied for the Cartels drug business. You have a diverse group in your characters so you can take them from good at heart trash to good at heart heroes who take down a cartel once they see the damage their chemicals have done. BTW great pics and good luck



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 09:47 AM
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As you know fellow writers can be a bit critical, but it goes with the writer thing and is generally not seen as a bad thing, so that having been said...

Your characters tend to be angry (unless I'm missing something) and they should be able to relate to the common folk. The " I'm one of you" ideas tend to make stories true to life.

In plots and things, your main plot should be the canvass in which all your sub plots and relationships are told. If your main plot is what is the more important issue for which you are writing, then you can put it on the canvass of an even more broader plot, something less sinister in which to lay the sinister on.

Stories have to have a thought that is conveyed. Is the thought morality in survival in a post apocalyptic world ? or is it the acceptance of fate or destiny as the thought.

So first you want to think of the message you want the reader to understand, then lay that on the canvass of your overall plot. Bring out the message through sub plots and the relationships of the characters so that at the end of the story your readers will say, " I get it, I understand it now."

I wish you well in your endeavor. If you like, you can look at some of the stories I've put here on a couple of threads. Analise them and see how they unfold. remember that writing is simply you telling the story of what you have seen and heard like the reporter on the scene.





edit on 14-5-2013 by Fromabove because: (no reason given)



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 11:23 AM
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To everyone;



Sounds about as relaxing as trying to sip a rum and coke in the middle of a moshpit to be honest! I have no idea how you can control a pencil with that much caffine in your system... I mean... thats STAGGERING!


I've got a tolerance
Plus I'm a red head. I've always needed lethal doses of things, otherwise nothing works.



Just a thought many stories that have some element of historical truth seem to go together a little easier. Triad .....Might get the group involved..... how some Cartel has cheated the casino and Li out of payments for the last batch of chemicals they supplied for the Cartels drug business. You have a diverse group in your characters so you can take them from good at heart trash to good at heart heroes who take down a cartel once they see the damage their chemicals have done. BTW great pics and good luck


Spot on.
That's generally the feel of the story. Thanks





Your characters tend to be angry (unless I'm missing something) and they should be able to relate to the common folk. The " I'm one of you" ideas tend to make stories true to life.


Well... Jewel is really the angry one, and she's not angry all the time. But characters like Li and Karazy have a certain humbleness that Jewel later adopts as the story unfolds. It takes a lot to make Karazy use his knives. Usually, he's the sweetheart who opens doors for folks and helps old ladies across the street.

Ryan is usually just lazy and calm (because he's a pot head) and Leo bounces around every emotion, because he's a little tweaked. Antonio can be angry sometimes, but not much.

Really, the angriest characters are Jewel and Randy. Both of them have rage issues... but it doesn't stop them from being the hero when they need to be.




In plots and things, your main plot should be the canvass in which all your sub plots and relationships are told. If your main plot is what is the more important issue for which you are writing, then you can put it on the canvass of an even more broader plot, something less sinister in which to lay the sinister on.


Right on. The main plot is kind of general. Imagine the feel of balancing morality with obtaining needed payment by means of crime. Like the game GTA San Andreas, only with more empathy and sympathy for humanity and its moral conflicts.

Moral conflicts (if you're willing to kill, or steal, or what you're willing to do to get paid, etc) is the main plot. Morality vs money. And above all; where the character's loyalties lie. Loyalty is the root of everything important in Las Senturas... and really, in all my stories.




Stories have to have a thought that is conveyed. Is the thought morality in survival in a post apocalyptic world ? or is it the acceptance of fate or destiny as the thought.


The apocalyptic story will have more of a "Highschool of the Dead" feel to it, only without the fanservice.
A constant, almost maddening acceptance of the fact that their world, which they took for granted, is gone. It also has a "What would you do to put food on the table?" thing to it. Only it will be more survivalistic, rather than crime and poverty-related.




So first you want to think of the message you want the reader to understand, then lay that on the canvass of your overall plot. Bring out the message through sub plots and the relationships of the characters so that at the end of the story your readers will say, " I get it, I understand it now."


I believe I'm pretty good at this.





I wish you well in your endeavor. If you like, you can look at some of the stories I've put here on a couple of threads. Analise them and see how they unfold. remember that writing is simply you telling the story of what you have seen and heard like the reporter on the scene.


Thanks



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 05:46 PM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

I've got a tolerance
Plus I'm a red head. I've always needed lethal doses of things, otherwise nothing works.



... Two things to say on that front. First, I know what you mean. Second, you and me should make sure we never enter the same bar. Ever.



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 07:37 PM
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Originally posted by TrueBrit

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX

I've got a tolerance
Plus I'm a red head. I've always needed lethal doses of things, otherwise nothing works.



... Two things to say on that front. First, I know what you mean. Second, you and me should make sure we never enter the same bar. Ever.


The only alcohol that's ever worked for me was 40% or higher, and that's if I have no less than 4 shots at LEAST. And I mean, at the VERY least. I don't drink regularly or anything, I've only drank a few times in my life... but seriously, WHAT is the point of wine and beer?

Can people actually get tipsy from such an insignificant amount of alcohol?!


I think we'd tear up a bar. Gotta make a point to do that at some point in life...



posted on May, 14 2013 @ 08:32 PM
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reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


I personally drink rum more often than not these days. However, I have also been known to enjoy dark ales. I reckon if things go really weird in life, and we ever end up in the same bar, that bar will a)run out of alcohol, and b) get broken. Thoroughly lol. The universe would probably implode from the sillyness.



posted on May, 15 2013 @ 09:54 AM
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Originally posted by TrueBrit
reply to post by XxNightAngelusxX
 


I personally drink rum more often than not these days. However, I have also been known to enjoy dark ales. I reckon if things go really weird in life, and we ever end up in the same bar, that bar will a)run out of alcohol, and b) get broken. Thoroughly lol. The universe would probably implode from the sillyness.


I could totally see this happening.

I like coconut rum, because you can mix it with a pini colada and it won't be very potent in taste, because it has a low proof. Its not the taste that kills me, its the burn... makes it unbearable for me to drink. But coconut rum is only 35%, so it takes two big bottles full of pini-colada-smoothies, each containing about five or six shots, to effect me. I hate vodka, because it burns and is GROSS. But vodka is usually a bit stronger than the rum, so a couple of times, I managed to down some vodka...

I can't tolerate the smell of vodka or any alcohol like I used to, though.

On the fourth of July around my eighteenth birthday almost 2 years ago, I had a really bad family situation going on, and I downed twelve shots of vodka at a party--still to this day have no clue how high of a percentage it contained. Then I had a few sips of whiskey on the side... nearly killed me that night, literally.

Since then, I haven't had much of a taste for alcohol. But now and then, I'll make my pini colada smoothies whenever I throw a party, and all is well.

Hell... anything involving smoothies can't end badly, alcohol related or not.



edit on 15-5-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: typos



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