reply to post by corsair00
Hi, I am new here and it is the 1st time I ever write on a blog.
I am here because after many years of going thru strange unexplicable experiences I have come to realise perhaps there is something I should know and
I should speak to someone about all this but I do not know who.
All my life since a child I was "not normal" and felt that way, I very diferent for any other children and they perceived it as well, I was super
inteligent and experienced many of what I know now are sychic habilities as a child i did not know what was hapening to me and also had noone that
listened ot me or paid attention either.
I am now a full adult, as well as a reputable scientist, so I am trained to be highly analytical.
Each time any of these strange things happened to me thorught my whole life I just went on and basically put it behind but when i have started to do
some research on line I was shocked to see how many people have come forth with similar experiences. I have nonone to talk about all this with and I
feel that I need an explanation. For instance, if I look back on my childhood, I vividly recall the terror I felt on a regular basis during night time
when I was awoken in fear paralized and I was unable to move. however I recall feeling this terror because I was not alone yeet I could not move to
see who these entities were. I say entities for it felt liie this, as if non humans were behind my head and once I was paralyzed I felt as if they
were entering my brain somehow and tweaking it repeatdely.
These experiences went on for years and after that I never recalled anything, however somehow as I look back in the past it is as if they are
resurfacing. I had many nightmares, I was a deep sleep waker as well, and the weirdest thing is that I since a child have felt very strongly there is
something really powerful and big I was mena tto carry out, like a mission, but which however has been thwarted by these entities with considerable
effort and monitoring of my persona thru various means. The thing is that I dont come from a family that ever talked to me aout any of these things
and it is only recently that having more time in my hands I started resewrching on te itnernet mainly prompted by some tv shows or perhaps aritcles
that crossed my path in which allien abduc ties stories where told. I felt suddenly as If I understood and felt similarly to them in their fear and
The " tweaking " of my brain which I felt was done when these entities would place themselfves behind my head thus me being paralyzed I could not
see, felt that they entered from behind with something into the lower part of my brain as I was laying upside looking up in my own bed. The experince
is extremely vague but the terror is still there. in fact one time jokingly someone asked me if i> was afraid of ghosts when I stayed alone at home at
night and I promplty answsered, no , I am afraid of them coming and taking me.
I was perplexed at my answer and so was the other person. Then I realized something was in my memory because this is not somthing I have been exposed
to nor hear of either.
Throught the years in childhood and with proressive tweaking I noticed something strange as I become an andult: as if my brain capability had been
significantly reduced... this was extrmeely strange to me and it feels as if I am a powerfull fast car but I have been tweaked not to pass a certain
speed... when i reach it I just cant think in that realm anymore, and this boundary feels extremely artificial nad not natural at all. as I f I know
that this should have been in my realm of reach but which was tewakd and it is not a gradual thing it is quite prompt.
this become significanly noticeable when i was warded a full prestigious scholarship to do my doctorate degree in nuclear physics. Each time I reached
a high level of understanding in certain quantum mechanical nuclear equations this limit would kick in and I would be left as if unable to proceed. as
if my natural capability has been twarted for some reason and it is as well happened with my sychic habilities.as a child I could read everyones minds
around me and it was not a pleasant thing, it was bothersome but I thought it normal as noneone had told me otherwise. I could also feel a lot of
other realities and so on.The standard sychologist test at the school showed an abnormal child with genious type capabilities specially in the areas
of space abstraction and conceptual abstraction but which had endured traumatic experiences. yet noeon payed attention since at time and in the
country I was born in (not USA) there were no gifted school nor did my parents payd any attention to this either.This is just a very narrow view of my
childhood experiences but it woudl take a long time to relate allof the ones that I have experienced.id like to talk to someone expert in this thanku