Here's a sample:
Ok, alright, I'm going to put this # down and get it out of my head. This may be a long story, or it may be real short, I don't know it depends on how
frantically I right. Hmm, frantically, now there's a word I've never used before. Haha, it's funny how writing does that; makes you want to talk in a
way you don't usually talk. Well, not you specifically, you're a computer screen. Or, well, I guess someone may read this someday, if I save it...
well, I guess if you are someone and you are reading this, stop, I didn't mean for that. But anyways, here we go.
I'm pretty sure I'm a superhero... yep, definitely.
You see, I don't die. Or well, I do but I come back to life. Like, not coming back to life Jesus style, where people knew it happened, or zombie style
where I eat people, but just regular. And I mean regular as in I just wake up afterward and I didn't actually die, but I did and people don't even
notice that I am basically a walking miracle.
Holy #, that sounded really egotistical. I am not what you may call an egomaniac wrapped up in some self propelled delusion; I've already ruled that
out. No, if anything, I'm seeing the world far more clearly than anyone else I've come across... which is also something an ego-maniac might say, but
I assure I am not. I'd tell you my therapist told me so, but I'd just be lying for humor's sake. My therapist has said no such thing.
No, what my therapist told me is that I'm living out a self propelled delusion and that I should take medication. I tried that, at the beginning, but
the drugs didn't make the thoughts go away, the awareness; it just made it so I don't care. Not about them or anything else. So I stopped the meds,
then I dumped the therapist. I started researching on my own, delving into some strange websites with stranger stories, some of which would have been
unfathomable had I not lived through what I have learned – well, am learning – to deal with. Some still were. But I learned as I sifted through so
much useless information to find the true gems, and I think I have figured it all out. You see, what I think is happening is that....
But then, that would be getting ahead of myself, and I should start from the beginning. This won't work if I just throw my theory down and don't
review the lead up. I have to get all of it out, have to see it and read it and decide what it is, fact or fiction. All I know right now is that it's
tearing my #ing brain apart wondering what's going on. So I'll do it right; I'll make like Phil Collins and begin at genesis.
It all started with Gary Coleman. He died after a seizure,. He had a seizure, bopped his head whilst falling down and bam, dead. Am I right? Am I? AM
Oh yea, computer screen, right. Well, I am. Right I mean, for I have found nothing on the web disputing this fact. What I have found disputed, is the
fact that he died in 2006. Everything I have found about his death says 2010. But I call bull#, because I remember, ok! He died in 2006. I remember
because I was watching my first episode of Wheel of Fortune with Drew Carey as the new host, and I specifically remember him making a comment about
what a big loss it was. I remember it.
And yes, I know memories are malleable, and subject to error and all that. I was ready to believe it at the beginning, to. Ready to right the whole
thing off to an error in the system, so to speak. But it happened again....Not Gary Coleman dying, obviously, but a similar event. Well, it actually
happened before Coleman's death, but I was reminded of it afterward. I was driving to work, right, and White Wedding (the Billy Idol song) came on
this classic rock station I like. It was the first song I ever learned on guitar, and I started to drift back to those simple days of my adolescence
in that far off yesteryear of 1978, when I turned fifteen and my parents bought me an electric guitar. As soon as I picked up making chords I went for
the song with a vengeance and picked it up so quick you would think I had wrote it. Apparently my friends did the first times I played it for any of
them, because they claimed to have never heard the song nor of anyone called Billy Idol. Not that weird, right? I mean, maybe I was just lucky to have
found out about such a hot act before most. Thing is, I'm recollecting all this about Billy Idol, and next thing I know the morning disc jockey on the
rock station comes on talking about how we're rocking to the eighties and how White Wedding helped propel Idol to fame.
“Well, he's right about the last part,” I thought to myself, just chalking it up to a disc jockey too busy to check his facts. But Then I'm like,
“Hey, disc jockeys aren't #ing busy.” And then I remember the Coleman thing, so I had to check it out. I get on the internet once I get to work,
and blamo! There it is in black and white, White Wedding came out in 1982. Everything in me says the fact is error, for a musician remembers getting
his first instrument, even a mediocre one. So, that being said, I took the next logical tep in my journey for the truth: I called my mother.
“Hello,” called my mother's sweet voice as she answered the phone.
“When did you get me my first guitar mom?”
“What? Is that you Billy,” she asked, sounding perplexed. I don't know why, it was a simple enough question.
“Yea, sure, so when did you get me my guitar?”
“Oh, ughm, it waaaas... oh, it was your fifteenth birthday, back in '79.”
“Exactly as I thou- wait, don't you mean '78?”
“Hahaha, ohh, I think I know how old my little boy is, Billy.” I would have begged to differ, because she was so #ing wrong (or, well, right and
wrong maybe) but my boss came around asking why I was making personal calls and surfing the net so I was like, “Gotta go mom,” and we had to leave
it at that. I tried put it out of mind as I worked the day away in my little, gray cubicle that always made me feel so trapped, but it was useless. My
mind just kept jumping back between Gary Coleman and Billy Idol, Gary Coleman and Billy Idol, Gary Coleman and Billy Idol as I tried desperately to
find some connection between the two events other than the fact that so many people had their facts on the two all wrong. I searched for a reason as
to why widespread disinformation would surround such trivial occurrences as an actor's death and the release of a song. Making any headway on the
query was near impossible during my shift, for the boss had informed me that he would be keeping an eye on my internet habits for awhile. I felt that
if I could just find someone who had experienced the same types of events, then I could figure it all out. Luckily – for me at least – someone
called in a bomb threat during lunch. Apparently they took it quite seriously, for the caller had intimate knowledge of the building, or so I'm told.
Point is, I got to go home early.
edit on 4-4-2013 by RatoAstuto because: (no reason given)