reply to post by lbndhr
I think it depends on who you're with, because in past relationships I would've considered a year as a long time, but now I've gotten with the man
who I'm fairly certain is 'the one, y'know, we've been together almost a year and it feels like no time at all.
I mean, we've spoken about getting married and stuff, but I wouldn't want to unless I was sure, so I'd like to maybe move in together first. I
definitely wouldn't want to bring kids into a relationship if I wasn't certain, and, due to medical reasons, I kinda need to have kids in my 20's
rather than leaving it later so I've met him at the right time to be honest. (Or, we've known each other since we were 11 so we've gotten together
at the right time!) But, I absolutely love him to bits and he makes me do mental things I'd've always thought stupid before (like similar tattoos!)
and he's just right
for me, and I think you know when that's right no matter how long you've been with each other.
Still though, I'd like to move in together and maybe get married in a few years (3 or 4 seems long term) before having kids (although marriage isn't
essential for kids, it would at least be nice to have) as I really think you have to be certain. And I can't ever imagine getting bored of him and
dumping him for someone else with kids in the wake, because you have to grow up and think of more than just yourself when kids are involved.
Unfortunately, I think some people fall in 'love' very quickly, don't think things through, want the day and dress and end up popping out a kid
before they realise it isn't right. I think the whole balance comes around right pure and simply through time and maturity.
That and both mine and his parents are still together after >25 years, so we don't view it lightly. I think upbringing does apply a lot in that
context because you can see that usually things like this run in families. Not always though, so I wouldn't generalise. Just, there appears, in my
eyes, to be a trend.