long-term reationships/marriage

My marriage was.common law until we married, its called a lonterm relationship.
What i want to ask is, what do you all consider a longterm relations, at what year do you consider your relationship has moved into the longterm relationship. I ask this because recently a female co-worker was talking about getting a divorce, i asked her how long she was married, less then 1 year. She has 3 cildren so my curiosity made me ask her how many times she has been married, 5 times so nonchalantl. I asked her age 28. She asked me the same question ,being shocked at my answer she asked me how can i be with the same man THAT long with wide eyes of ewww look in them. I told maybe its because of my upbringing, maybe i knew i loved him when we joined in the relationship, or maybe i dont want to keep learning. new person every few months. Maybe we learned how to work through our indifference.
What do you all consider is a longterm relationship. Do you like getting rid of the old to get a new relationship like her, often?

reply to post by lbndhr


Longterm I guess is different for everyone. Longterm in my eyes, would be a few years..maybe 3 or 4.
I was with my hubby for a year then we broke up, still remained friends, then got back together a year later. Then a year after that I became pregnant and we decided to marry.
We have been married 8 years now, one kid.

I have friends that have been divorced and remarried. It seems people don't take marriage seriously at all anymore. They up and divorce at the first spat.

Peace and love
-nat the mangled cat-


I have heard the grass is NOT always greener on the other side

Even though sometimes ya might wish it was greener.....

reply to post by natalia


Ty for your reply. Your right, marriage is not taken serious anymore infact i am even noticing divorce incline in older and seniors.

reply to post by lbndhr
Long term depends on what you are using for comparison. My first marriage only lasted for 2 years, while my current marriage has lasted for 21 years. Some people might consider a 2 year relationship long term, but when you compare 2 years to 21 years I would consider it to be very short term. It is all in your individual perspective.

reply to post by littled16


I completely agree, to some(naminly the youth ) 2years is longterm. Are you still happy and content in your relationship, or like most us relic relations(24years for myself) we have times it gets rocky. Truthfully, sometimes i highly dis-like my husband, however i always know it will pass and i will like him again.

I was with my ex for 23 years, we started going out together when we were 19, we met while serving in the military. One day she said that is was over...So....I packed up and left.

I now will be married in Sept. A very good friend I've known for 20 years.

reply to post by Nuke2013


Congradulations, wishing you a happy and long relationship

reply to post by lbndhr
Yes I am still extremely happy and content in my marriage. In fact as the years have passed I have become happier. Of course occasionally there are rocky times, but never even once have either one of us considered throwing in the towel. We both agreed before we got married that no matter what problems should arise that we would work it out and stay together for life, and we made very certain before we got married that we were ready to commit to it seriously. I just wish more people would do the same before "taking the plunge"- there would surely be a lot less divorce.

reply to post by lbndhr


It depends

Me and my sexy hippy chick have been together for 11 years but still feels like the first year

My last relationship was 4 years but felt like a life time.

I got married when I was 21 to my wife.
We are coming up on our 4 year anniversary this July.

We have had our ups and downs (I suppose like any young marriage)..
But, I know for sure we will be together FOREVER.

reply to post by lbndhr


To me, if you've been together 3 or more years, then I have to wonder what the heck is stopping you from making the commitment...

I'd consider a year or more a long-term relationship..after that, it's certainly more than casual.

After some thought, I've concluded that a new term needs to be added.
With a few choice examples, you'll see why.

Let's say we use one year as a cut-off, for calling something long term. What happens when they break up a month later?
Is a relationship that only lasted 1 year and 1 month a long term relationship?
I don't think it's quite there. But it is long enough to be more than just a relationship.
That's why I think it should be called an "extended relationship."

I'd say that category would start at 6 months and go to when a real "Long term" relationship starts, maybe 2-3 years. I also think that Long term implies the intention of staying together.

Been married for 34 years and now hubby wants out. At one time that was almost unheard of. Now it seems to be more common. I no longer believe in marraige or happily ever after.

reply to post by Night Star


This sucks and my 1 st thought is, is it a younger woman? I would worry about a younger woman if my husband was healthy no younger would take my hubby, high maintenance and uh hum nearly no luvin.

reply to post by lbndhr


I think it depends on who you're with, because in past relationships I would've considered a year as a long time, but now I've gotten with the man who I'm fairly certain is 'the one, y'know, we've been together almost a year and it feels like no time at all.

I mean, we've spoken about getting married and stuff, but I wouldn't want to unless I was sure, so I'd like to maybe move in together first. I definitely wouldn't want to bring kids into a relationship if I wasn't certain, and, due to medical reasons, I kinda need to have kids in my 20's rather than leaving it later so I've met him at the right time to be honest. (Or, we've known each other since we were 11 so we've gotten together at the right time!) But, I absolutely love him to bits and he makes me do mental things I'd've always thought stupid before (like similar tattoos!) and he's just right for me, and I think you know when that's right no matter how long you've been with each other.

Still though, I'd like to move in together and maybe get married in a few years (3 or 4 seems long term) before having kids (although marriage isn't essential for kids, it would at least be nice to have) as I really think you have to be certain. And I can't ever imagine getting bored of him and dumping him for someone else with kids in the wake, because you have to grow up and think of more than just yourself when kids are involved.

Unfortunately, I think some people fall in 'love' very quickly, don't think things through, want the day and dress and end up popping out a kid before they realise it isn't right. I think the whole balance comes around right pure and simply through time and maturity.

That and both mine and his parents are still together after >25 years, so we don't view it lightly. I think upbringing does apply a lot in that context because you can see that usually things like this run in families. Not always though, so I wouldn't generalise. Just, there appears, in my eyes, to be a trend.

reply to post by Ayana


Your in love, so cute when it first happens. Your being wise in your longterm visions. Best of luck in your lfe, peace.

I was in a relationship with an ex for 4 years which I considered long term, it wasnt until i met my now fiance that I realized that I never actually loved my ex, i was just with him out of habit. I only understood what love was when I met my future hubby :-)

I am so lucky to have found my soul mate, he is my whole heart, we are so happy together and I couldnt imagine my life without him.

reply to post by Night Star

Been married for 34 years and now hubby wants out. At one time that was almost unheard of. Now it seems to be more common. I no longer believe in marraige or happily ever after.

Sounds more like mid-life crisis. Some handle it better than others, though admittedly, we don't have more to go on. I've been married (my first and only marriage) to my wife for 9 years now, and I can't imagine ever wanting out. Not that we don't have issues from time to time, we all do I think, but leaving? Not really a consideration I'd entertain. Of course, she's the perfect woman for me anyhow...so that's cool.