I was a christian when I was younger; actually, I was a fundamentalist.
Not a christian anymore. Agnostic. I can't be an atheist because I can't prove the non-existence of God. Sure, I can show a lack of support evidence
for God, but I can't prove a negative.
But I do believe that we're at our core animals. We're no better than the rest of the animals on this planet. For a God to discriminate us so
obsessively as is apparent in the bible doesn't sit well with me. It's a very wrathful God. In my opinion, the God of the bible is too human. I think
only a human could be so judgmental. This leads me to believe that if there's any truth to the bible it has been reinterpreted by people and thus it's
corrupted and cannot be trusted.
I would trust my heart. And my heart tells me that none are condemned. There's no hell and there's no heaven. There might be nothing after death
except worm food and 6 feet under.
Do I care what ants do? Do I judge them and condemn some to hell? Perhaps. I've been known to squish a few, but it was only circumstance, not wrathful
judgment. If I could rewind this world I'd unkill everything I've killed. I believe we're trapped in this reality and it's physical torment. If I
could get us all out and into a better place I would, but I cannot. For whatever reason, we're stuck here and have to work through it. Maybe we can
figure out a way to break the laws that imprison us.
I think if there's a hell we're already existing inside it. It's a reality that forces us to make quick choices with limited information. It's
seemingly constructed to create conflict and disorder. Some people will point to what they think are optimistic things like helping others or a
beautiful natural scene or the love that people can feel in their hearts, but I always see not simply these things but the reverse. I see the hate and
the greed and the destruction and the ignorance and the impossibility of preventing conflict. I see a goodness that's shallow. I see a reality tha'ts
two-faced. To me they're inseparable. They're illusions. What does this mean? I am not sure.
I think it has something to do with the idea of a reality that has more than one conscience. Somehow inertia and conservation of energy and multiple
consciences are to "blame".
For me, life is a struggle to see this reality in some constructive way. A way that keeps me optimistic that maybe there's a purpose to all this and
it's not just another rat race.
I think the other lifeforms on our planet are going through something similar. In this way, it's heartwarming because I know nothing is alone. But
neither can I fix it. I can only feel it. I picture in my mind the millions and billions (and more) of creatures dying every single day. In all that
carnage, I see our hopeless predicament. I cast a prayer to a bird or a squirrel or a random thign, but know that in the next moments it could be
killed. The same applies to me and every other person.
The creatures are us if we were in their circumstances. The idea that intelligence is some sort of physics like the interactions between inertia and
gravtiy brings me some good feelings. Maybe all this is is just a process. If true, intelligence is probably widespread in the universe and cannot be
easily eradicated, since it's a primal force of nature like gravity and inertia. Consequently, our deaths, even if our whole planet were destroyed, is
only a blip in the universe of life bearing places. Everything that constitutes us exists elsewhere. We're redundant. So we don't really die at
It just is. There's no why.
edit on 28-3-2013 by jonnywhite because: (no reason given)