Hitting a Girl. Good or Bad?

reply to post by knowledgedesired


Yes it does vary with situation, but would never allow a random stranger to hit me. does not matter who they are.

What do you think about double standards in our society?

If man calls in a spousal abuse and women calls in a spousal abuse? who do you think will get a criminal charge?

Do they deserve it sometimes yes...but I still don't think I could ever hit a woman unless there is a direct threat of safety to my wife or my children. The first video that girl had what was coming to her. My dad used to own a bar and I tried to break up a fight and a girl hit my 3-4 times in the face. First off I was completely shocked by the whole thing but within a matter of seconds other girls were going after her so it took care of itself, lol.

I also come from a family where my dad physically abused my mom. So I'm a little sensitive to this type of violence.

reply to post by luciddream


If only one person has marks on them then only one goes to jail.

If both people have marks on them.... BOTH GO TO JAIL.

I have never been on the receiving end of either but I have seen the police arrive and haul off one or even both and more than once I have seen the woman taken and the man left behind.

I agree there are allot of people with double standards but I have also seen the right thing done many times as well.

In the first video, which to me seems like a "happy slap" video, I feel the gentleman was well within his rights for knocking her to the ground, she deserved it.

Women (especially young girls) are becoming more and more aggressive, trying to look big in front of their friends.

Hitting a girl, good or bad? Bad.

Hitting a psychotic little bint intent on gouging your eyes out? Restraining her might be the best option, but I wouldn't think less of any guy who defended himself.

reply to post by knowledgedesired

Originally posted by knowledgedesired
reply to post by Shadow Herder

 

My take on it as a man and as a man that is trained to fight..

Restraint at all times.
Respect at all times.

Do everything in your power to control the situation without throwing blows.

Just because you can beat up another person does not mean that you should or you have to.

Well said.

“A quick temper will make a fool of you soon enough.”
― Bruce Lee

Physical violence should not be used full stop but especially if you are the instigator and you are obviously more powerful than the one you are attacking.

I think the whole cant hit a woman thing is based on an assumption that women are delicate flowers and need to be coddled. In my opinion if a woman attacks you for no justifiable reason she loses this delicate flower status and is open game.

I hit a girl once when I was 16, it was my GF and we were wrestling on the bed, she playfully punched my thigh and I said " WHOA easy there, 2 inches higher and you would have got my nuts"
She said "what? you mean like this" and full on punched me in the family jewels.

I doubled up in pain and when I looked at her she was laughing, I saw red and gave her a backhand to the head.
I told her to get out and after about 30 min when the pain went down I went out to her and apologised, she also apologised and we proceeded to have very gentle make up sex due to my tenderness. True it was unnecessary and an over reaction on my part as I wasnt in any danger, I did feel bad but also felt it was justified under the circumstances.
I try my best to live by the premise of only treating women the way I would expect a guy to treat my sister,
If the girl in this situation was my sister I wouldnt have been mad at the guy.

I think when people say you cant/shouldnt hit women they mean it in a domestic violence sort of way which I 100% agree with but anyone prepared to use violence should be prepared to have violence used on them in my opinion

reply to post by IkNOwSTuff


When I was younger I used to bounce at bars and more than I would like to count I would see a girl repeatedly hit a guy because he is not interested in her or moved on. She would hit him in the face and the second he raised his hand to block and push away, 4 guys felt the need to pounce on the poor fella for defending himself. I am sure we have all seen this one way or another.

I knock a bitch out if she she has a gun or knife and she is coming at me. Other then that I will just leave until she cools down.

If you punch someone don't be surprised if you get punched back. But at the same time not every punch deserves a punch back.

Either way nobody should have to put up with an abusive relationship. If you find yourself repeatedly having to fend off a partner then that relationship is pretty much over.

reply to post by luciddream


I was comparing the sexist double standards to the racist double standards, and I stick by my comments. I will not change them to appease you.

reply to post by Shadow Herder


I can only give you my perspective here. I am female and I was a brawler in my younger days, and I'll tell you what, if I decided to take that swing, I wasn't playing. I wasn't giggling. I don't care if you are male or female; IF I STRIKE YOU FIRST you are damn right you have every right to defend yourself. Fair is fair.

Having said that... Most women are not going to be able to go toe-to-toe in a brawl with most men. There are a lot more men than women I would be hesitant to get physically confrontational with; size and strength is a factor no matter how much people like to think it's not. However training, speed, experience, and just plain ol' vicious can make up for that sometimes. There are some men that have gotten in my face, and some brawls that I've broken up and I showed restraint, against men, because I could have put them in the hospital.

There are women that are a genuine threat, but most are not, and that is why it is generally considered wrong to hit a woman. I know how to fight, but any man who knows how to fight and has 50+ lbs on me is going to mop the floor with me 9 times out of 10, and it's still pretty chancy even if they are smaller than that. Men are physically stronger than women, and if they are accustomed to violence it's a big gamble.

Defend yourself according to their actual threat level. There are more factors than gender. Every violent confrontation is situational and should be assessed carefully. Word of warning though...

Even if she is "asking for it" she may be deliberately goading you into getting violent first, and when it comes out in the wash, you are the one in trouble. You also may be getting more than you are expecting, so you could end up beat to hell by a girl AND in trouble with the law. Maybe a small chance, but still a chance...

What is sad is the fact that most women don't agree with most of the "Womens Rights" agenda. Women are generally treated much better than men 90% of the time. I have never opened a car door for a man, i have never helped a man take his seat, i have never bought a man flowers, or the million other things men do to make women feel special and appreciated.

Growing up as a kid my mom was a single parent. I was a hard kid to handle and I pushed the limits with my mom. I've been socked in nose punched in the mouth and even stabbed in the leg with a pencil. I never once hit my mom back. Women are in most cases weaker then men. I could have knocked my mom out with one punch if I wanted. It's just something men don't do. Unless your in serious danger theres no excuse to hit a women.

I think it's ok to punch a woman if she fails basic commands, like "Git me a sammitch!" or "Bake me a pah!"

Ifn you don't see a sammitch or a pah, then it's time to teach 'em who wears the pants.

Hey, what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothin, she's already been told twice.

(ba dum chick!)

But seriously, you see a lot of female abuse in some cultures. I don't know why the ladies put up with it, I guess they're more forgiving. If the roles were reversed, I'd wait for you to go to sleep, and it would be clobberin' time.

reply to post by Shadow Herder


Simply, if you're being physically attacked and are unable to deescalate the situation or stop the attack by any other means and you are at risk of serious injury, then yes, I think it's...acceptable.

In the first one, I'm not sure, but I would have to see more of the video, and I would like to try and see him get away from her more before he hit her. If she's physically assaulting and harming him and he cannot make her stop by any other means and if he cannot get away, it's acceptable to hit her, but we only see 15 seconds of the video. Her peers' implication seems to be that no matter what a girl does, they should never be hit, which is wrong because it gives them a "i can do whatever i want and you can't touch me" superiority attitude.

In the second video, i only watched the first minute, but the action by the women against the men do NOT justify hitting by the men A) it's staged, and B) it's not really an attack or all out "assault" that puts them at risk of harm from which they cannot reasonably escape.

But that second to last video, man, those two are just pathetic. "Where'd MY F-----g Playstation?!?!" Grow up. Those are two immature kids who have no business being married or having kids themselves.

And that video is not complicated: he had NO right to hit her. She might have hit him, but it was not a true physical threat to his person under which he had no control. Hell, he grabbed her wrists and took her out of the room afterwards (even though she was shocked and crying), which is what he should have done instead of decking her. He let his anger cloud his judgement.

Originally posted by Theflyingweldsman
reply to post by Shadow Herder

 

A man should NEVER hit a woman.

Equality only goes so far, it can't even out biological differences.

Women have too many hormones, so they are not always responsible for their actions.

A real Man does not hit a Woman. He has the strength to hold her back until she calms down.

Only a coward hits a woman.

Nonsense!!

Women have too many hormones so they are not always responsible for their actions?? So if the women with hormones happen to kill her children, should she not be held responsible?

I openly admit, I HAVE hit a few women in my time and I would do it again. My last long term relationship was with a very abusive women. I am a whole 5' 7" tall. She was 6' 1". When she hit me, it hurt. In some ways it was no different than being hit by a man. She even hit harder than some men I know. So spare me the whole nonsense story of "a man can hold her back, hold her down, subdue her" storyline. In real life it does not always work out that way.

I have told this story before, I will tell it again. When I was in 5th grade I was suspended from school for pushing a girl to the ground. Why did I do it? Well I was raised by a single mom who always taught me to never, under any circumstances, hit a girl. I never did. While at school, I was getting beat up daily by a girl. I would come home with a black eye, bloody nose, busted lip. For a while my mom ignored it. Then one day I came home with tire tracks across the back of my shirt. My Mother sat me down and asked me what was going on that I was coming home all beat up every day. I had to explain to my Mother that I was held down by a girl and her friends while she rode her bicycle over my back. I had to explain to my Mother that every back eye, bloody nose and busted lip was a result of being beat up by a girl.

My Mother asked me how I could let this happen? How could I just allow some girls to hold me down while she rode her bike across my back. The only reply I had was simple. "If I run she chases me and catches me. You told me to never hit a girl so I just take it- but I swear I have never hit her". I was actually more scared of my Mother than anyone else on the planet. So I never hit a girl because I was more afraid of what my Mother would do to me if I did.

This was when my Mother. A single mom raising two boys on her own with no help at all gave me the advice that still applies today as it did 30 years ago. She said, "By hitting you she is placing herself in a Man's position. Put her on her a$$" She was very clear on this point, I don't have to beat her up. I shouldn't hit her if I can help it, but I should put her on her backside and let her know I am a man and if she continues, I can hurt her. The next day I went to school like always and like always I was attacked and punched several times in the face. So I grabbed that girl and shoved her down as hard as I could and she hit the floor like a ton of bricks and began crying. I was suspended for putting my hands on a girl.

Of course at this point my Mom exploded and took me back to school and went nuts on the principle. She wanted to know where they were when I was coming home all beat up for several weeks. Why is it they can turn their heads and look the other way while I was being beat up, but the second I defend myself they act? Needless to say, by the time my Mother was done ranting and raving, I was permitted to return to school.

Oddly enough, the story doesn't end here. It turns out the girl had a history of violence. Every time she liked a boy, she beat the crap out of him and it was something she had done at previous schools. The next boy she liked after me tried to run from her. He ran into the street and was hit by a car. After that, the girl was sent to a mental institution. Personally I think instead of running into the street to get away, he should have put her on her a$$ like I did... but I guess by your definition, that makes him a coward.

It also makes me a coward in your view, but I will wear that badge with pride. I will proudly stand up, any place and any where and say, "If you put your hands on me, I will defend myself. I don't care who you are or what you are. Man, women, billy goat or dog- I will defend myself if attacked and it is my right to do so."

So using the videos in the OP as an example

video 1: I would have knocked her out cold.

video 2: I would have knocked her out cold.

video 3: I would have knocked her out cold.

video 4: kuddos to the Cop. I would have done it too.

video 5: This one is a fine line. She did hit him first. I wouldn't have hit her myself, but I understand.

The days of the weak "little women" are long gone. If this women is hitting you:


I strongly suggest you're dumb if you dont hit back.

Call me a "coward", what you won't call me is a "victim"

reply to post by Shadow Herder


I can't watch the videos, but, in answer to your question, if you have the balls to punch a man, you should have the balls to take a hit back. A man has every right to defend himself, just like a woman does.

I grew up with the domestic violence. When I was old enough to stand my ground, I realized that I had just as much power as he did. It never happened again. I have also been on the bottom of a pack of drunk little girls who wanted a fight for entertainment sake. A group of about 20 girls ran out and knocked me out from behind with a rock to my skull. I also managed to fight my way out of that one. A pack of people like that can do some damage. I don't care if they are women, people should be able to defend themselves.

ETA: I used to spar with friends for several years after I moved out of my parents home. Always with the guys, they were nice though, and never went for the face either.

reply to post by jimmiec


You are very right, some want it both ways. Freedom and spoiling, without effort.
I am a woman, and you know I was the first lady to ever buy my husband flowers.
You have excellent points, everyone wants to be treated like they are special.

reply to post by Shadow Herder


Besides my wife, I would punch just about anyone to defend myself.

I don't care if it is a female, a teenager, a guy in a wheelchair...if they are attacking me...I'm attacking back.

But not my wife, she is the mother of my children and no matter how much she would be attacking me I would just restrain her....not hit her.

Having been in a relationship much like the 3rd video I have very strong ideas about this subject. I was hit, beaten, scratched, and had multiple things thrown at me through out the 2 1/2 years of being married to this woman. Most times over trivial things like I didn't call her and remind her to pick up toilet paper even though she wrote herself a note on the pick it up list and got everything else on it.

I will admit I did finally stand up and slap her open handed but it was not that I was defending myself but defending our 6 month old daughter. She threw a glass at me and it shattered on the fireplace and a 2 inch piece of glass embedded in our daughters cheek. She immediately called the police in the attempt to have me arrested but when hearing the report the police arrested her for child abuse and not for anything she did to me.

It disgusts me to see how the general public sees this type of abuse. It should be violence is violence and not a gender excuse.

I have found, at least in my experiences, that Women(in general, but for sure not all) want equality only when it comes to opportunity. They still want the Men to do the romance, the chivalry, etc. They don't want equality they want to be above. Don't get me wrong I think all people should be equal but I think it should be in ALL aspects of life.

It used to be that a Woman was pampered or taken care of. They were treated(for the most part in society) as a delicate flower and in return they took care of the home and the children. Today it is not like this at all. The Womens equality was established so they could work at equal pay with equal benefits which is fine and dandy. Men then had to switch to a more balanced home life which is also fine and dandy, but with the equality that the Womens equality movement sought there was no give, balance, or equality when it comes to how special a Woman is treated vrs. how a Man is treated.

In general(again not all) Women want their cake and to eat it too. They want everything that is afforded a Man but are not wiling to afford a Man every right or expectation that is expected, by society, to be given to Women. I did however find a Woman and married that does treat me as an equal as I do her. She does the romantic things she opens the door if she gets there first, etc., etc., etc. So I know from both sides of the situation that there are no definitives but only exceptions. Unfortunately, society as a whole, still allows behavior like this to be acceptable but violence is violence and should not be tolerated in any shape or form by the police or the courts.

Even an animal has more defense in the eyes of society than a man defending himself from an abusive woman and this must change. I do not think in anyway that it is okay for a Man to hit a Woman except in defense as well as visa versa but I also do not think that a Man should be in trouble with the courts for defending himself simply because it was a Woman. Equality should have no exceptions.