If I were you, I would prepare for the talk. Collect anything you need, write down in chronological order these things. If she doesn't shred her
statements, you could retrieve them and make notes. I know it sounds a bit over the top, but this is your state of mind, and if she's already annoyed
at you questioning her, you may as well go whole hog and do it.
If you can go without completely compromising her privacy, it would be best. Don't ask to see her phone, or her Facebook messages (and if you have
access to either, it's probably best not to even look, in case you find something you don't want to see).
It needs to be talked about it a calm and rational manner, it's hard, since you've invested so much time in a long relationship.
The talk might end the relationship, but this hanging over you and not saying anything, I feel, is much worse. A relationship ending isn't the end of
the world, and it sounds like it's possibly been going on for the last 6 months or so any way. It sounds to me you're in a lose-lose situation. If you
talk to her and she's cheating, game over. If you talk to her and she's not cheating, game over, because she thinks you don't trust her.
I've heard women tend to "shop around", but not committing to anything until the first relationship is found to be a bust (or she gets caught out).
If she's already admitted to flirting with other men because it makes her feel good this suggests two things, 1: she's seeking emotional relationships
elsewhere, and 2: you're not providing the emotional comfort she needs. (Sorry if that sounds harsh, it's how we women operate sometimes).
Moving out is a good option, in my opinion. This way, if she's cheating, you can make a clean break and have your own space immediately without the
added slap in the face of having to stay in the same house while closing deals are made on new apartments. Also, it's better than kicking her out, and
its leaving her with a place to stay (an ex of mine dropped me a fast one about 7 years ago, and made me homeless for 8 months).
My friend broke up with her boyfriend in January, after spending the last 6 months hanging out with another guy. She never hid it from her boyfriend
that she was going to see this other man, and she always told me that nothing was happening between them, and I believed her. She said that all it was
for her was the emotional relationship she lacked with her boyfriend. (I have to admit though, her boyfriend was a bit of an ass at times). When they
broke up, within three weeks things had progressed with this other guy.
So even if your girlfriend ISN'T cheating on you now, chances are, things would have gone that way.
There are too many coincidences in your story for her not to be cheating on you.
I hope you're able to make a clean break, and leave her to the sordid bed she's made for herself.
Don't worry about what other people will think. Don't worry about families, and what people will say and how others will feel. This is your
relationship, and more importantly, your mental health. You can't stay with someone who is making you suspicious.
After 7 years, there is no good reason to keep secrets. There is no reason why she would keep a male friend a secret, unless there is something going
on, or unless she thinks you'd over-react. But if you haven't given her reason to think you would over react about a male friend in the last 7 years,
then there's no reason for him to be a secret unless she's cheating on you with him.
edit on 26-3-2013 by Lulzaroonie because: (no reason