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Originally posted by TriForce
reply to post by Hefficide
I think you are probably trying to make decisions that she's already made for you. My ex kept me around during her courtship with the guy she left me for - lying to me the entire time
Yep, I too know from experience... They arent going to completely severe ties with person A (you) , until their minds are completely made up to be with person B and they know that they can secure a future with person B.
They dont wanna be caught holding the bag, with no place to live.
Originally posted by intrepid
Man have you got yourself into a pickle. You probably won't like this but you asked. This dude could be totally an innocent thing, if it is a thing at all. Lots of speculation here. A childhood friend maybe? Would she tell you? I wouldn't if I were her. It seems like your past may be coloring your present:
I was cheated on before, it sucked, it seems that history has repeated itself yet again with me.
And the snooping is the worst. If there's no trust there's no relationship. What to do? Time to cut the BS imo. Cop to the snooping, ask for forgiveness(that was a crappy thing man) and ask straight out what's going on. Honesty really is the best way to go.
Originally posted by Bilk22
Trust goes both ways here. You claim it's ok for the GF to do things without informing her SO, yet you feel the OP was wrong for not trusting. The GF must have trust that the OP would understand her having a friendship, if that's all it is, especially considering the length of their relationship. And to that end, in seven years, it's a good bet the OP would know who his SOs significant friends are.
You are never the same again when you have been lied to successfully this way, trust is always out of reach. Why don't you go on the next trip with her to that town even if you call in sick to work? See if she LOVES the idea...I doubt it myself...sorry.
Originally posted by Bilk22
reply to post by intrepid
Well getting the truth may not be a simple ordeal. She may say what she either thinks he wants to hear or she doesn't want to divulge the truth because she then must admit she's a cheater. Talk is cheap. She can say anything without it costing a thing. It's cliche, but actions speak much louder.
If I were the OP, at this point, it would take something more than her just saying "you're imagining it." My bet is she'll turn the table on him and say he's distrustful and use it to justify her actions.
Originally posted by jhn7537
reply to post by Bilk22
Well, maybe some could say I've overreacted, but I just applied to an apartment closer to my work office and I'm moving out on April 23rd... She has zero clue about this and I could have it out with her or I could just leave and she will be stuck with knowing what she did... The last thing I want is to approach her about this and her just keep lying to me.
Originally posted by cody599
Although it's sneaky if you want the truth ask her boss about the trips seems obvious to me. If he says no then ask her and you will know if she was lying to you.