This is honestly hard to do and for the longest time I've pretended that all was well, but recently I have something eating away at me and it's got me
at a point where I don't know what to do.
I'm 28 years old, I've been dating my gf for just under 7years. We've had our fair share of ups and downs like any relationship has, but now I'm
beginning to question whether she's being totally honest with me. We are both very close with each others family, I guess that's expected after 7
years, in a way, you can say she's my parents daughter-in-law and I'm her parents son-in-law. I'm beginning to suspect her of cheating on me and it's
hard to even type that message out. The thought of her going behind my back like this is almost too hard to even understand. I guess to catch you
all up-to-speed I need to help you with understanding the chain of events leading up to this.
It started on Halloween of last year, we were at a costume pub crawl and I was playing DD (designated driver) she was intoxicated, and later in the
night I saw her paying a lot of attention to her cell phone. Soon enough I caught a glimpse of a guys names she was texting. I let it go and asked
her about it the following day when she sobered up. She mentioned that she flirts with guys, its only harmless and she does it cause it makes her
feel good. I didn't like hearing that my gf was proactively flirting with other men but i let it slide. But being curious, I saw on her facebook
(under her listed friends) a guys name who matched up with the one she texted. Next I noticed her taking interest in a college football team that
she had no business knowing anything about, it was very strange for her, and then I noticed that the guy she was texting that night graduated from
that college... Things are beginning to feel a little iffy to me. About a month and a half later she mentions that she has a business trip in this
texas city that she had to go to for this project she's working on and it fell on the weekend. Funny (or not so funny) thing is that the city her
business trip was in was the same city this guy lives in (google is very helpful).
Next she is going through her mail, paying bills, etc. and she puts on the table her credit card bill. To this day I wish I didnt see it because now
what I saw haunts me in a way. she purchased the flight on her own personal credit card. Mind you she has a corporate credit card for ALL her
business expenses... So now I'm thinking WTF is going on, but I never said anything, and I regret it to this day not approaching the subject
So, I did see the Credit card statement on accident for the flight, but with my curiousity killing me I looked at her recent one (snooped around which
I'm not proud of) and noticed she was buying liquor when she was there. Which is very strange to me because usually when you're on a business trip
you go out each night to restaurants, bars, etc. you don't go to liquor stores (she's not a big drinker anyways). And I map quested the liquor store
and it was 1.4 miles away from the guys house who I'm questioning (once again google very helpful)...
After she returns from her business trip were driving around running errands and I decide to test her. I say to her, "my company will allow me to buy
business stuff on my own credit card that I can expense back to the company, can you ever do anything like that to get the rewards?" Her response, "we
get the rewards regardless and I always use my company credit card."
Well, now i feel like a total POS because I have that feeling that she is cheating, maybe physical, maybe emotional, maybe both... The thought of
either drives me nuts though. Last week she sent me an email stating she has to go back to that city for another business trip which is less than a
month away. It makes me sick thinking about it.... I want to talk to her about everything I just wrote to you, but I'm confident that if I do that we
will be breaking up. She thinks I question her too much and is getting fed up with it, and I feel that things are adding up too much. I haven't
talked to my family about this because I don't want them to hate her if I was wrong. But all signs point to something going on...I've invested 7
years into this relationship and I want to make it work, but I don't want to be the only one trying. At times it seems that she's just going through
the motions while I'm trying... I think I know what I need to do and maybe I just needed to write it out here first. I was cheated on before, it
sucked, it seems that history has repeated itself yet again with me.
Question- How would you guys/girls bring it up? Should I just sit her down and talk calmly about it, asking her to be honest (even though she will
likely deny)... Or do I just end it and let it be? When you snoop around and find something, how do you use that information? Because we all know
once information comes out that you shouldn't have all bets are off...
And if this whole thread makes zero sense, I apologize, my thoughts are a little clouded right now...
edit on 25-3-2013 by jhn7537 because: (no