The scientific PROOF that sending mothers out to work harms children

reply to post by ollncasino


What if anxiety and stress DIDN'T lead to slower mental development? Would that make it alright to inflict that on a baby? And why do you need science to tell you a baby needs it's mommy? Day care is cruel. I have always believed that.

I was a stay at home mom until the kids went to school. It makes a big difference. Still, I am home when they get home from school. I have chosen this route and its not an easy one. Financially its a struggle.

The caretaker of the child should definitely be interactive and loving to enable the child to grow to his/her full potential, this is common sense, I feel. Does it have to be the biological parent? I dont know.

My kids are A-B students and very well rounded and sociable. My parents help me with their hockey and both my son and daughter appreciate all the sacrifices I've made over the years for them.

Im not sure women are forced to go out and work all day long. Hustlin' odd and end jobs can work well as it has for me all these years. Its hard, I know. Ive been in the situation for years. Do the best you can though to make sure the kids are getting what they need and forget about wants.

Tv, Internet, games, game systems are wants... they are not needed. Name brand clothes can be bought cheap at sales and good will.

If a mother works all day at least she can spend the evening bonding, if she so chooses, if not, there will be hell to pay for the family.

In my family I am the third generation of full-time working mums: my granny worked for the city council, my mum was a biologist and I work within a quiet busy sales office environment. My mother-in-law was a full-time working nurse and needless to say we all (including my two sons 18 and 8) turned out to be responsible people with a very caring attitude towards fellow humans. No emotional distress, no shrinks and no pills needed.
Whoever thinks that children of working mums are missing out on anything like love, attention, care or quality time is badly mistaken!
How many stay at home mums read every single evening to their children? There are plenty of dissatisfied stay at home mums letting their frustrations out on their kids though!
In the end of the day we are all responsible for ourselves and must have some occupation/work in life that goes beyond regular family life and not only provides the finances necessary for a living but also provides a life lesson on responsibility to kids.
Got the impression some people here still think that working mums/dads do not bake cakes, or cook home made pasta sauce, or do not clean the house, or do not do homework with their kids, or do not play/laugh with their children, or do not drive them to Scouts, music lessons, sports activities etc.
Not only that, we even find time to dedicate to charity and actively involve the children!

Actual title from article

The scientific PROOF that sending mothers out to work harms children - so why is the Budget penalising those who stay at home?

Read more: www.dailymail.co.uk... ml#ixzz2OV21K8RO Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

So lay off the op, it would be against t & c to change it to " both parents" thus misrepresenting the actual title.

reply to post by starseedflower


There is no doubt there are women out there who can find balance in raising a family. No doubt.

I have a best friend who worked a lot and now she is selling real estate, selling at craft shows, and cleaning houses. She still works a lot but she takes her son with her now except when she is selling real estate or if he is in school.

She is home more with her son and says she sees a difference in him and thinks she made the right choice. Its a choice... plain and simple.

I have a cousin who's husband is more of a stay at home dad.... their family life is thriving.

I know several friends who have long days at work and when they get home they spend much needed time with their kids... and again.... family is thriving.

I was raised by my grandmother who stayed at home. I too, stayed home.

If parents, at least one of them pays attention to their child at least thirty minutes to an hour a day or night, it should come as great solace to the child. Working or not.

I found that personally I wanted control over their upbringing and did not want someone else to raise mine the way my Grandmother had to raise us. I wanted to be the one rearing my children and so thats what I chose.

reply to post by timetothink


Interesting point, I also think that both parents need to have an equal share in raising their children and responsibly contributing both to family life and to the financial part of the equation.

reply to post by MamaJ


You are absolutely right, it is a choice which has to be made, but that does not make working parents bad parents!
Explicitly I say parents and not only mothers, like the Daily Wail misogynists used to put the issue!

It seems we live in a throw away society kids included, I am a proud stay at home farther who takes responsibility for my children, I all so have no issue while single parents stay at home that we as tax payers support them until said child is of an responsible age to make their own way home.

reply to post by ollncasino




I don't think anyone is "sending mothers out to work. " I think some of them have to work and still others want to. You can't deny mothers the right to employment if they need it to feed their children or help husbands manage the bills. You could improve the economy, raise the minimum wage and educate mothers about the proven benefits of staying home to make child rearing and early development a priority.

reply to post by newcovenant


What I gleaned from the article is that the government is giving monetary bonuses to mothers who go to work.

So in a sense, that is sending them out to work and penalizing those who choose to stay have and raise their kids.

Does it matter what gender the parent is that stays home with the child? Does it HAVE to be the mother? Could the mother go to work and the father stay home instead?

I can agree that a child needs interaction with a parent, but why does it have to be the mother? Isn't the father also an important part of the child's life? What if the child has two mothers or two fathers?

The study doesn't support women not working, it supports a PARENT being with the child and it was generalized by the OP that it had to be the mother when it could be either parent. I think it's really sexist to leave the father out. The father is just as vital as the mother is.

Originally posted by ollncasino
In the first 3 years of a baby's life, its brain doubles in size. When a mother, father or grandparent spends time with a baby, every giggle, every chuckle and every tickle is literally growing the child's brain.

I agree with the OP 100%. However, using the Daily Mail as a primary source doesn't lend credablity to any argument.

There are hundreds of other sources you could have quoted that would have lent more weight to your point:
There has always been scientific fact that attachment between mother and child is vital to a child's development - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Attachment/Bonding requires time and commitment. "Quality Time" is a myth. Consistancy of care by a single caregiver is required.

That said - thank you for sharing this. It cannot be stated enought.

Originally posted by FidelityMusic
reply to post by PutAQuarterIn

 

Don't forget that mothers who stay home these days are occupied with technology rather than their children. I've witnessed it many times with a few different people including my cousin who had her child a little over a year or two ago. She works, comes home, says hi to the baby for 20 minutes and starts texting, all while her son sits on the floor playing and occasionally walks around going to every person he can for attention. He's been shooting hoops on his little Playskool hoop since he was a few months, and he already dribbles and passes full sized basketballs that come at about a third his size. If the mental development becomes an issue, I guess he always has basketball to resort to. :/

Don't assume that all mothers act that way. I never had much time for anything but my child while is was little - even as a teen when she was home. Being a Mother is a 24/7 job.

I was going to say that staying at home with your child present in the house is a whole lot different then being a full-time Mom.

Please don't paint all Mothers with the brush of your limited experience of the breed.

Originally posted by starseedflower
In my family I am the third generation of full-time working mums: my granny worked for the city council, my mum was a biologist and I work within a quiet busy sales office environment. My mother-in-law was a full-time working nurse and needless to say we all (including my two sons 18 and 8) turned out to be responsible people with a very caring attitude towards fellow humans. No emotional distress, no shrinks and no pills needed.
Whoever thinks that children of working mums are missing out on anything like love, attention, care or quality time is badly mistaken!
How many stay at home mums read every single evening to their children? There are plenty of dissatisfied stay at home mums letting their frustrations out on their kids though!
In the end of the day we are all responsible for ourselves and must have some occupation/work in life that goes beyond regular family life and not only provides the finances necessary for a living but also provides a life lesson on responsibility to kids.
Got the impression some people here still think that working mums/dads do not bake cakes, or cook home made pasta sauce, or do not clean the house, or do not do homework with their kids, or do not play/laugh with their children, or do not drive them to Scouts, music lessons, sports activities etc.
Not only that, we even find time to dedicate to charity and actively involve the children!

Not many people are as capable as you - I certainly was not. It worked for you and your family but it doesn't actually work for very many families.

Originally posted by FyreByrd

Originally posted by FidelityMusic
reply to post by PutAQuarterIn

 

Don't forget that mothers who stay home these days are occupied with technology rather than their children. I've witnessed it many times with a few different people including my cousin who had her child a little over a year or two ago. She works, comes home, says hi to the baby for 20 minutes and starts texting, all while her son sits on the floor playing and occasionally walks around going to every person he can for attention. He's been shooting hoops on his little Playskool hoop since he was a few months, and he already dribbles and passes full sized basketballs that come at about a third his size. If the mental development becomes an issue, I guess he always has basketball to resort to. :/

Don't assume that all mothers act that way. I never had much time for anything but my child while is was little - even as a teen when she was home. Being a Mother is a 24/7 job.

I was going to say that staying at home with your child present in the house is a whole lot different then being a full-time Mom.

Please don't paint all Mothers with the brush of your limited experience of the breed.

Hold up, did you just say your child is now a teen, or that you currently have a baby? If you read what I said, I said these days, as in had a baby the last couple of years. That's the experience I've had with the young mothers of this day, currently, not 5 years ago, not 10 years ago, not 15 years ago, I'm talking about the present.

I've known this all along. Would never sell my children out for the likes of big business and right winged dog eat dog primitive SS. They come first always.

I loath these studies on parenting, pinning one type of parent against another which ever side is getting the thumbs up. It doesn't matter what the experts say. Every family and child has different needs. Please expert study people, leave parents alone. If we stay at home or go to work. We are all doing our best.

Eta: a stay at home mums point of view.

There is also PROOF, That FATHERS who work, and do not spend as much time at home, HARM children.......in FACT, FATHERS going to work was proven to HARM children LONG ago...Look it up. I guess our dogs and cats will have to get jobs, because no matter what the humans do, someone is going to call foul....LOL...

I couldn't disagree with this post more. Speaking from experience, I lived with my mother most of my young life. She was badly on drugs and rarely home at all. I was often put asleep via alcohol and other things. However I made good grades in school, did a 4 year hitch in the marines, and am currently working offshore until august when I start nursing school. I'd say I turned out pretty well.

Scientific proof lack of food due to no money does far more harm than sending the mother out to work.