I fear aging... (replies from older members appreciated)

reply to post by EllaMarina


I'm in my early forties now and I always wish I could turn the clock back..I had kids in my late thirties and regret that I waited so long...should have had them younger. I'm looking at all the other dads and I have a boat load of gray hair now that popped in right after I had my second child.

It's natural to fear getting older but I was fortunate in my childhood and that's why I think in my case I miss being young. Had a few close friends and cherish the memories. Luckily I'm still close to a few of them so we still go out for dinner now and then. Music is my downfall because I love 70's and 80's music but it always brings me back when I hear certain songs and thus the excessive reflection starts.

My honest suggestion is to work hard at your job but take the time to enjoy what you have. Even if it's the next state over take time away with friends and family and don't procrastinate on doing things with loved ones. Again this is my opinion but I too fear getting old and only because I now have a family...I think if I was single things may look a little different but I'm afraid of checking out before my kids get married and start their own family....

I am a 67 year old single woman and people are shocked when I tell my age. As many have said, age is just a number. When I was young I also worried about growing old but looking back...if I could be a certain age forever...it would be in my 40's. I don't act old or dress old. I started dance lessons at 58 and came alive so I dance regularly with all ages and none of us think about how old anyone is. One of the most sought after dancer's is a woman 10 years my senior and looks great. She is on the dance floor 4-5 nights a week. A man 15 years her junior wants to go with her.

So it is about attitude...at any age. You do and be what is right for you and live you life as the age you feel inside.

BTW, at 67, I have no medical issues, only supplement with vitamins and eat healthy. Love who you are right now and expect it to get better.

reply to post by lbndhr

...well me, know your an adult...

LOL - this reminds me of a wake up call I had, in my early thirties...

I had a former friend who had become a heroin junkie track me down at my job, somehow, who had called me and disturbed my world. I was in my boss's office, venting, talking about how I didn't want to get involved in my former friend's life, or even talk to her, and she (my boss) said something along the lines of, "Look, you are a grown woman with children and a profession. If you aren't adult enough, by now, to figure out how to tell someone 'No' I really don't think I can help you."

Yeah. It's like that.

The American Indians don't consider a person to be adult until the age of 35.So don't ever trouble your mind with what if,but be advised I did what I wanted to do. That is best for anyone...unless you have impulse issues.

reply to post by EllaMarina


I can remember feeling this way in my late 20's. It felt like my youth was gone. I was approaching 30 and all the stuff I did a few years earlier was no longer appropriate.

Getting older is a challenge. There's the whole body image stuff. As a kid my bod was there to get my spirit around. I liked what my body could do, run fast, squeeze into small places, be nimble. But getting older has it's benefits. People take you more seriously and you can buy booze and a car. Being an adult rocks, but it has it's draw backs. Responsibility sucks most of the time, but it's the price we pay for the good stuff.

As women, aging is seen as the enemy. Sexiness and desirability come with youth in most cultures. Having the balls to have self confidence in the face of an advanced number is necessary. Be fearless!!

I'm 53, have 4 kids, gray hair and a pudgy body. My mind is slow and I don't look hot anymore, except when I have hot flashes. But, I have some thing I didn't have before, experience. I know a whole lot of important crap.I can tell kids off with authority, the ray hair lts m do things I would not do at 30. I just don't give a # anymore.

I feel like I'm the grandma in the village and everyone needs my wisdom. I listen, I help out, then I take a nap. I don't sweat the small crap, it aint worth it. I tickle my youngest kid, oggle babies and give out compliments because life is too short not to. And you know what? People like it!!!

So you rock your bad self girlfriend. Just be.

Grammy is over 90. She was good until she recently broke her hip. When I went to visit her she called me to her bedside and said,"Wow! The medicine they gave me for pain made me high. I haven't had that much fun in years!"
She is home from the hospital now. But she still goes on and on about how much fun she had at the hospital being high.
There I was trying to capture one of her cookie recipes and all she wanted to do was talk about the party she was having such a great time attending(illusion) while she was high at the hospital. She does not seem the least bit worried about dying. She talks about going back to the hospital so she can get high.She has it all figured out.She figures she is old enough she'll be back there sooner than later.
Get the most out of life. And, apparently if you're ninety and break a hip, the pain medicine at the hospital is worth a return visit.

Unfortunately for me, I could never tolerate pain meds. Then again I may not see ninety.

Nothing to fear about aging. You learn to live a new lifestyle. You get to get up ten times a night to pee and spend fifteen minutes in the john every time trying to work up a stream. A couple times a year you can lay on the floor in a cold sweat repeating the Lord's prayer over and over with pain from kidney stones.

Nothing to fear about aging. You learn to live a new lifestyle. You get to get up ten times a night to pee and spend fifteen minutes in the john every time trying to work up a stream. A couple times a year you can lay on the floor in a cold sweat repeating the Lord's prayer over and over with pain from kidney stones.

reply to post by EllaMarina


You're only as old as you feel...simple as that. Cougar on, I say....

reply to post by EllaMarina


No matter what amount of peer pressure, stay away from drugs and booze. Be different, be yourself. Who cares what others think about you. Drink later in life. Study, learn, plan for the future but live everyday as if it is your last. I made a lot of mistakes in my life and I'm paying for it now. I wish I could go back in time and do it all over again.

Don't want to sound like a downer, just please listen.

Cheers!

I’ve Seen Through The Looking Glass, Outside The Fishbowl

I first noticed aging at the gand old age of 26. I don't know why, but there it was. I wasn't a "kid", no longer a student, even past grad school, trying hard to develop a career, married to the guy I worked through grad school, trying to get pregnant, all the rest. That was 40 years ago. You mentioned not having any particular memories in the last three years. For God's sake, woman (because that's what you are, way beyond being "cute" even if your guy isn't), start making some memories, with real people with whom you can form real contact, as in face to face, sooner or later, preferably sooner, a real attachment too. It may hppen over the internet--it has to me--and not all the memories are great, but some have been absolutely astounding, and they will take you a long way in life, once you stop being "cute" and grow up and learn what to appreciate, what to learn from, to create ever better memories. And, yes, smile lines are normal and you are very fortunate if you have them instead of frown lines. Work at developing the smile lines and be proud of every single one of them!

Funny you should post this. I was thinking about this myself, but on the other side of it.
I'm a 58 year old female. I have never noticed anything different about my thinking (regardless of my age) from when I was in my twenties.
I thought 'if I could go back and give my 20-something self any advice, what would it be?'
What I've noticed is that who you are now, what you do now, will shape who you are later. Pysically, spiritually and mentally. Stay active! I used to play softball, dance, etc. and it has helps a LOT as I've gotten older!
HAVE FUN!! You'll never be this age again, so enjoy it! That's what life is for!
Look for the good in people. Regardless of what we think, there usually is some good in there somewhere. Find it. Especially in YOURSELF!
Don't be too hard on yourself. Everything has a lesson. Learn it, but enjoy the ride.
Age is a number. I've seen 20 year olds that were old and 80 year olds that were young and everything in between. Be who you are and forget the number. Be with the people you enjoy.
Have integrity! If you learn who you are now and develop the best of that, you'll have people around you all of your life that will love you, but more importantly, that you can love...and for all of the right reasons! When you reach my age, you'll be able to love the person who matters the most...yourself...and you can put your head down at night with your soul satisfied.
Fill your soul with music! ALL kinds of music, even music you think you don't like. It has its place. Learn it and enjoy it! It feeds your spirit, your soul, your life! The same goes for animals!
Find beauty...by YOUR definition! Not someone else's.
And one thing I'm still working on.... if it's not useful, beautiful or joyful, toss it! Not just stuff, but relationships, too.
You deseve the best. Don't settle for anything less, but don't hurt other people to get it. Things are just things and can be replaced. People cannot. Treasure the best in yourself and try to live a life that others will strive to match. Never go down to their level, make them come up to yours.
Looks fade, but true beauty is far beneath the skin! Find it, nurture it, enjoy it!
Read the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling. It has good life lessons in it.
Don't sweat the small stuff. EVERYTHING, in its own way, is small stuff! Worry never helped anything. Fix what you can fix and don't worry about the rest. Just do the best you can and be proud of that.
You're doing fine. In 30 years you'll look back like I have and laugh at what you call worries now. Thing will get worse, but things will also get much better. Life really is what you make of it. Make it GREAT!!
Did I say have fun? Have fun!!

Oh, and what imagypsy said! Very good advice. Get out there and make some memories!!!!

reply to post by EllaMarina
Funny thing about aging, u really don't notice it until it's too late ! Thankfully it's not like that Star trek episode, where ya do it all in one episode! Anyway, @ 27 yrs, with grace, you'll have PLENTY of time to contemplate it, and there 's just no telling what the mad scientists will come up with to make it stop!

Like I said, Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart

I’ve Seen Through The Looking Glass, Outside The Fishbowl

reply to post by CarbonBase


Re: "no telling what the mad scientists will come up with"

That's what I'm hoping for, even at my age

Originally posted by EllaMarina
I'm 27...

You don't know that you'll live another day. What if you don't? What if you don't live 10 more years?
What a waste to worry about more time that you would not have lived, anyway.
You have three options:
1. Devote time to memories...which you cannot touch
2. Devote time/emotion/worry to fantasies...which you cannot touch
3. Live
That is rather stupid - I KNOW... You do have to concern yourself with the future, and must deal with all "the past" has given you...but, aside from taking caring of yourself right now, there is little you can do to improve the future.
And, sadly (or not), aside from nurturing a pleasant attitude toward life and others...how you will look, age, feel & think...as "Future You"...has probably already been established.
What if you were on the flip side of the coin...like me...wishing your looks could just come to par (like jiggerj)?
Anyway - here's to hoping that you can set the vain worries aside and enjoy your life.

Well I'm 50 and have the minset of a twenty year old. But the body of a 50 year old. You will notice as you age that TIME is the culprit. When you hit 50 and realize that half your life is over and done with, it makes the remaining time that much more meaningfull. As we age TIME takes on a whole new meaning. Take the time to enjoy your life and all the things in it big and small. It;s a short period we have to make our mark and leave our legacy. I have two grown children that turned out pretty good. Live your life. It's really all any of us can do. Live it to the fullest as per you.

Be true to ones self. Cherish your family. Life is way to short not too. Hug your kids & tuck them in at night. Because one day, their beds will be empty. And you'll start to see what it is I have said here. It's short. way too short.

Holy cow, you're all young "whipper snappers". I'm pushin 80 and it is true...age is just a number. In my mind, I'm still around 30. I can still "head bang" with the best of 'em....still love metal and the 80's "hair bands". I drive a new Mustang but miss my Hemi challenger 2010...MOPAR all the way! I'm thinking of getting another dirt bike motorcycle. I have MS but had it since in my 40's and I didn't let it slow me down all that much. I have good days and bad. Live the good days to the fullest! Gardens galore that I tend to. A wonderful hubby of 50 years of marriage, to same great guy!

I love to laugh, travel, shop. Not ready for the bone yard yet. The only thing to worry about at this age....maybe an occassional involuntary gas attack at the check out line when ya cough or laugh or lift something heavy. No biggie. I usually look at my hubby as if he blew the dealy and he gets the blame. Still like makeup, jewelry, keeping active. Hubby and my pets love me no matter what...bad hair day or whatnot. Pets really love ya no matter how ugly ya may think you look. Most folks are surprised when I tell my age. I think attitude and a zest for life makes all the difference. Live life to the fullest. Old age is better than the alternative...I'd rather be planting daisies instead of pushin them up.

I guess I give new meaning to the saying, "Old fart". Old age has its privileges.

I never thought I'd reach this "number"...and that's all it is, a number. State of mind is all...and good posture helps. Blessings to all you youngins. The best is yet to come. The Golden years do not have to turn to dross if you don't let them.

I don't really,mainly because i have seen so many elderly people who still seem to be enjoying life,loving,having fun-in fact happier than many younger folks.Also,i never could grasp the concept of "act your age"-i have really,truly felt the same since i was a kid(even then i felt young+lighthearted one day,a thousand years old the next) and though i do think i gained through experience a measure of wisdom and deeper insight than say,in my 20's,i honestly have always basically felt the same.
I was never any age to start with,and i am not now,though my chronological age is almost 48.I think it shows on your face,and in your body if you do not have any specific expectations pertaining to a certain age.I have been mistaken for my 21yo daughter's big sis on quite a few occasions-and by other women-the toughest audience

And although i lived a hectic,very self-destructive lifestyle for many years,till i had my oldest gal at age 27,clubbing,pubbing,drugging and being a complete pisscat,being in car and bike accidents,lots and lots of stress,and still smoke like a paratrooper(my only vice these days) i am still in hale and hearty health.Well,except for getting out of breath sooner than a non-smoker.I believe this too,is because i have never expected to become "decrepit" or dramatically less spry once i reach a certain age.I had my son at the age of 41,and it was much the same as my other pregnancies-i never felt completely well while pregnant,pregnancy is just not a thing that sits well with my particular physiology.
The nurses at the hospital where i had my son(by caesarian) looked at me like i was an alien when,a few hours after giving birth,i walked out to the room's balcony(i Need to spend a little bit of time outside every day) I was tethered to: a drip that was attached to one of those heavy trolley-style monitors,like dragging a heavy lil cupboard with you,a catheter,and a wound drainage bag too.All this without underwear to keep it in place I still don't know to this day how the Hell i managed that,but i was going out to look at the stars,any which way, i would have oozed if i had to!

I guess i can sum it up by saying-i am no age,i just live,till my exit point,which is going to be an awesome adventure!