I fear aging... (replies from older members appreciated)

I don't often reply on humanistic threads, as I have moved beyond that. I am also much older than you, almost 50 years, hell the viet nam vets were my students back then. The reason I respond is my young wife whom is 60 years old is going through what you are experiencing lol. You see this is a never ending thing, concern for aging. She is a beautiful woman, in fine condition, optimum weight and sexy as can be. It is all in the viewing from tha age you are at that time in life.

I read someone here saying stay in shape and live life, you won't know or care about the changes. I have been crippled up, and recovered many times. I was a great runner, a gymnast, several belts in self defense and so forth when younger. Due to plane wrecks, being crushed in a building while fighting a fire and just too much hard work, I now have five joint replacements. So now I work out in a gym, walk four miles per day, but cannot do most of what I did, but whom cares, live life the best you can, I am having kick ass fun most days and as I told my wife yesterday, I just don't care what others think, I don't desire anyone else, I stay in shape for myself.

reply to post by EllaMarina


Noobie here. As this aging goes. You feel just like you were in the teens just a little slower. My mind still thinks the perverted stuff of my youth but I get a reality check when i look in the mirror, It's an older version of my younger self. I'm 48 but I feel 25.

Just go out and do things to enjoy life versus reading online what everyone else is doing.

OP, I am around 20 years older than you, and living with a man who is 12 years younger than I am. I suppose that makes me a cougar by society's definition, but I never saw it that way. I was attracted to, and fell in love with another human, and his age made no more difference than any other physical characteristic. The stereotypical cougar seems to be an older woman on the prowl for younger men because of their age.

Getting older is a trade-off in many ways. You lose some things, but you gain SO much! Live well, and you will be quite happy as you get older. You gain a big-picture understanding and become really comfortable in your own skin.

I am in better physical shape than in my 20s, thanks to exercise, a healthier diet and a wise decision to stop smoking ~17 years ago. I figure skate competitively, hike, dance, work out, travel internationally and make six figures. I can pull my leg up over my head. My boyfriend says it would take two 20-year-olds to make one of me. Don't sweat it.

Originally posted by eletheia
reply to post by EllaMarina

 

Take this from an old trooper your as old as your mind wants you to be!

I have birthdays, have had many birthdays but mentally I don't keep a tally of the

'years' aspect.


So much so that more years ago than you have lived I was having a medical assessment

and the Dr. asked "how old are you?" and I had to actually think about it, and after I had

worked it out I realised that I was 2 years older than I thought I was

....if he had

said as most do 'date of birth' it would have been easier to answer.

I do that too. And people look at me like early senility is setting in when I tell them that I'm not good at math!

Why should we have to remember the "years old" when no one believes it anyways?
My husband is 10 years younger than me, yet looks at least 10 years older.

Age is just a number, eat healthy, exercise, and you'll age well

When I dream at night, I'm still that 25 year old that I used to be.
In my awake hours, I still feel like that, until I look in the mirror, but with a few aches and pains....

ok - well i haven't seen anyone in their 60's respond.
i'm 63 - and in a couple of years - around age 65 - most of the men in my genealogy on my dads( mostly irish side) we start to look like death walking. Until then well my 50's went by like the snap of fingers.
i will always be working out and staying in shape as much as possible - hopefully put the curse behind me.

so no worries ya got years to go and billions of cells to shed.

'growing old aint for wimps'.

Originally posted by EllaMarina
I'm not thrilled at the idea of my appearance changing, but at the same time I like the way people look when they're older. It makes them look more distinguished and adds character

At 20 we have the face we were born with.

At 40 we have the face we've earned.

At 60 we have the face we deserve.

I would tell you not to worry too much about the way you look, but since you're a woman that probably won't fly too far. :

Don't fear aging sweetheart. You can't change it. Fear and stress will age you quicker then anything. Don't be afraid of things and don't worry about things and you'll be able to enjoy things to the fullest. A good work ethic, a steady sex life and a positive attitude will ensure that you'll die feeling 20 years old and looking like you enjoyed every minute of it.

reply to post by EllaMarina


I am 31 years older than you and I am happy with myself.

I'll be 59 my birthday, seen a lot, done a lot. Two kids, three grandkids.

My advice? get just enough sun to stay healthy, don't smoke - anything. Stay away from alcohol and salt - they tend to dry your skin out. Stay hydrated. Watch your sugar intake. Read a lot. Do not wait for someone to ask for help, help them and expect no rewards.

Above all, have patience.

So many encouraging responses. Thank you, everyone.

Maybe a part of what scares me is the idea that I'm physically aging faster than I should for my age. The only type of exercise I do is walking, and I like sugary snacks and am always borderline dehydrated (but never thirsty... weird).

I will turn 62 in June. In my youth I was quite attractive, so I was told. I use to think about aging and its processes and how I would feel about it. I am not pretty anymore, but I am healthy. I thought that I would fear dying but I don't. I sure miss being and feeling young and the passions. But, also, I find a certain freedom at this age that I didn't in my youth. I don't strive to please everyone anymore except myself. I didn't know a woman could do that until recently.

I can relate because I have done almost everything that I have wanted to. I also went to many colleges with different degrees I think I only used one of them. I started off to be a dentist and ended up in SC running a Finance company with another guy for a year (quit after being shot at).....to many jobs to mention! I'll never forget working in a law firm and an attorney jumped out of his 23 story window when he got his student loan bill. Be careful, it is hard to pay back.

reply to post by sarra1833


Sorry that I messed up but my reply was to you. See when you get older it gets harder to see also..

reply to post by EllaMarina


Sweetheart your still very young...and I'm sure your lovely.... Take care of your skin, best advise my Mom ever gave me. I just had the dreaded 50th......on 3-13-13 even...I hated every minute of it too!!!! Yeah, Yeah..your only as old as you feel...tell that to my 50 yr.old tummy who's 20yr old mind who still wants to eat pepperoni pizza... What's up with that? Why does spicey food effect you differently when you get older? lol......

I can't speak for the guys, and intellectually I know it's silly and shallow, but aging for most women I know is no fun. Sure, you try and keep a sence of humor, age gracefully...lol.....but do I dye my hair and do what I can to age as slowly as possible...you bet ! I do think it's kinda sad when a beautiful 27 yr. old girl is worried about aging...I really never worried about it till my 40's...when the dreaded reading glasses are needed.....fun day....lol...
now I wear them around my neck on this very cool beaded glasses thing my daughter made me cause I could never find the damm things...yeah...you loose your mind too.....

Ella I know your possible romance with this young man is in the beginning stages, and certainly your not a "cougar" by any means......however if this relationship were to lead somewhere....WHAT do you both want? I have no idea what you hope for in life...and I wish you everything good..

Good communication in the early stages of a relationship can prevent years of grief...and you have every reason to be concerned about the age difference...trust me on this one.......Good Luck Honey..........♥

reply to post by jiggerj


I feel you man.......I have 8 titanium rods and 12 titanium screws in my lower spine, they put 4 cages in with bone grafts from my hip, a L4-L5 fusion that came apart last year, 8" titanium rod in my left arm with a rebuilt elbow and titanium screw. I have wire mess on my right abdomen and wire on the left side. Plus two surgeries on my right wrist to be able to move. Now my surgeon say's in May he wants to repair my fusion...I am saying Hell no...I was possibly supposed to be in a wheel chair but I have fought through Hell and back to beat all odds and walk like a normal man, well almost.

I want to help other injured people some day. I know that the mental and physical problems will kill and destroy you if you let them. As I have stated before I had to let go of the pain and hate and negativity to get where I am today. I just really had some trouble months back when I went to Las Vegas airport, I jammed up their scanners.. ..

havent read the thread yet, just dropping a quick reply B4 i read...

from where im sitting at 43, its not the AGE its the DECREPITUDE

these days if you watch your health young, you can (barring catastrophe) remain FUN for a long time

cause thats what its about right?

if you are too DECREPIT to have fun, then your age will just be a number

likewise if you are still having fun, your age is just a number...

take a tip from bushido and visualize your death upon waking, welcome it as a required part of life. embrace your eventual death, be willing to face it like a (WO)MAN when the time comes...

and then take a deep breath and go do what you gotta do

peace man, i hope you continue to survive




now that ive read the thread i fear my advice is a bit gender specific. none-the-less, do not fear the rolling of the credits, just try to enjoy THE SHOW, and if your fear is based on other peoples judgements of suppossed outward attraciveness, well take up a hobby so that you KNOW you have more to offer than a fetching smile. certain hobbies go well with age, writing for instance, will always give us something of yours to remember you by, and it can remain beautiful for as long as words are remembered

Originally posted by jiggerj
LOL This reminded me of when a friend once said, "When we were younger we could drive past the high school and look at the girls. Now we can't drive by the high school and look at the children!"

haha it does.. but it's about the grog really.

not that .. no.. oO

Originally posted by nerbot
48-teen here.

haha, nice one

gets like that over that 40's rainbow eh..

8^s

Drive past the high school to look at the children... ha, that's a good one. I actually marvel at how young high schoolers look to me now. Teenagers are practically babies to me, but were my peers once. How did my mindset change? Funny.

I had issues with each decade, 20-30-40, as 50 was nearing my family was a little concerned how i would take it. I dont know why but as it neared i was not stressing, i wasnt excited either, the night before i turned 50 i remember thinking, "I wonder how im gonna feel tomorrow" when I woke my first thoughts were, " well me (i actually said my name but this is internet so..) well me, know your an adult":-) . Your only as OLD as you want to feel. Im know looking at 52, im wiser inthat life paths brings about lessons and wisdom pay attention to your path and age is ok. Peace

reply to post by EllaMarina


I am in my mid fifties, so I guess to a lot of you, I would be considered old. That being said, i have always been quite comfortable with aging. I think it helps that my husband still tells me, I am still the most beautiful women in the world to him and always will be. Funny, I believe him. I always tease him and tell him in our old age, he will be bopping little old men over the head with his cane, just for looking at his wife. He smiles, and tells me yup, that's me, the most fiercely, protective old man in the nursing home.