Serious Personal Dilema

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posted on Nov, 1 2004 @ 08:46 PM
Hi Guys,

Don't normally turn to the internet for this kinda thing...but really need another perspective on this. Anyway...heres the issue:

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been cheating. You know...all the usual signs. She's been more distant lately, less affectionate and a whole lot more picky about pointing out even the smallest thing about me that she finds 'irritating'.

Other stuff like the phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up. Or when she answers she will "take it in the bedroom" and then go in and close the door...when she never did that before.

She has also started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently...although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them".

I always offer to come along, but she gets really insistant that she needs "time with the girls", or "you won't like hanging out with all us hens chattering away about 'girl things' all night"...that sorta thing. Once even offered to drop her off and pick her back up when she was finished...and she got all cagey about it, looked real guilty and said she'd be sharing a Taxi home with 'the girls'.

Thing is...I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive...although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? Surely a Taxi would drop her off right outside the house??

Add to this I once picked her cellphone up just to see what time it was and she went beserk...totally lost it and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and proceeded to rant about "why was I checking up on her." blah blah blah.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my g/f. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth...but...last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car parked out on the road...which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of.

It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed a spot of RUST appearing around my rear wheel arch!!! me out here...Should I take it into a Body Repair shop or should I just buy some stuff from the local AutoParts store and try to repair it myself?

posted on Nov, 1 2004 @ 08:54 PM

Reminiscent of the Castrol engineer who got depressed when his second wife left him, because as she drove down the driveway he could hear her engine timing out by two degrees.

Yes, the signs are there, and you should deal with the matter asap. I would cut the rust out and touch it up myself.

posted on Nov, 1 2004 @ 09:07 PM

Cheating: tail her, get a trenchcoat, black sunglases and a cab, and follow her around and see where she goes. If shes cheatin, break it off and say some "things"...but it could be shes planning something big and jsut doesnt want you to know.

As for the rust: Id repair it myself, why take it into a shop where they'll charge ALOT for something you could fix yourself?

posted on Nov, 1 2004 @ 09:09 PM
You are quite a detective! *noticing a spot of rust on your car in the dark of the night*

I think it would be wise to gently broach the subject with your girlfriend. You could ask her if she wants to take a break from dating you exclusively for a while or ask her if she wants to move closer in the relationship she has with you. This might provide her with an opportunity to express that she might be interested in someone else OR that she wants to move to the next level with you.

By the way, did you see what/whose car she got out of or were you distracted by the rust spot?

Either way, I'd take care of the car/girlfriend issue ASAP, before they both get out of hand...

posted on Nov, 1 2004 @ 11:51 PM

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
Reminiscent of the Castrol engineer who got depressed when his second wife left him, because as she drove down the driveway he could hear her engine timing out by two degrees.

LOL! That run of Castrol Adverts have got to be some of my favs...can totally relate to how painful it must be to hear an engine slightly out of tune.

Yes, the signs are there, and you should deal with the matter asap. I would cut the rust out and touch it up myself.

Think I may just do that...cheers for the advice MA.

dreamlandmafia...I like your style...sneaky sneaky
Good advice about the rust repair...last thing I'd want is someone else laying their filthy dirty hands on my precious baby. Same could probably go for the missus as well...

magestica...yup...the car is far more important...can always trade up to a newer Model...hmm, was that the car or the g/ lost there...

*Disclaimer: In case its needed - This post may have been posted purely for humour/entertainment value and does not deliberately breach the T&C of ATS. However...I do accept that there is nothing humorous about rust on ones car, and in which case I sincerely offer my most humble apologies to anyone who has experienced the traumatic nightmare that body rust can cause within a car owner.

posted on Nov, 2 2004 @ 11:39 PM
Get some buffing paste or very fine sandpaper, remove the rust, put a little primer paint on the area and use a spraycan of Rustoleum paint to touch up the spot. Who's gonna be looking in your wheelwell anyway?

As to your female friend, I abhor cheats and encourage you to put your love, attention and energy towards a new relationship. She isn't being honest with you, so you deserve better.

posted on Nov, 3 2004 @ 08:05 AM

I once felt your pain.

early in my relationship, I felt the exact same things that you are right now. You described my relationship with my G/F exactly... however as it turned out, she wasn't cheating.

She bowled on a womens Tue night league, would stay after words for drinks and girl talk, sometimes dressing a little nicer than usual. Girls night out would come around a little more often, 2-3 times a month etc.

No hang ups on the phone though.

I started feeling the distance growing between us.

I did what had to be done, I sat her down and told her what I was feeling. I didn't acuse her of cheating. I simply asked where we were at in our relationship?

I asked her if she thought she would like to see other people.
I made sure that she was aware that I didn't want to.

a little back ground ... we were both divorced recently at this time. SHe had been with her ex for 7 years, married for only 1 year. I had been with my ex for 7 years, married for 6 of them....

I was the first guy she had seen since her divorce. I have to admit, I did come on a bit strongly, I had fallen for her immediately and didn't want her to get away.

So, we sat and talked it through... she assured me that there was no one else and that she didn't want to see other people, however, at this point, we had been living together for about a year, so we decided a few days break would do us good, lets see how we do.

I went home to KY for 3-4 days, we would call each other at bedtime every night, just to make sure each was safe. When I came home, we talked again... everything was okay.

She understood my concerns about her and her actions, as it turned out, she was dressing differently because she was getting "bored" with herself and wanted to look her best, always, still does as a matter of fact.

The time with the girls, turned out two of her close friends were losing thier relationships, one was married one not... and they were just needing Jen to be there for them.

So I was lucky. I didn't "trail" her, check up on her phone calls etc. It turned out nice.... we're still together, as a matter of fact in Jan it will be 7 years together.

So Alien, after all my rambling... just communicate with her, be honest with her and what you are feeling.

Good Luck.

posted on Nov, 11 2004 @ 04:56 PM
Although, once you go Bond-O, you'll never go back!

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