Passive Aggressive Woman

reply to post by InTheLight


I agree with you that this member needs to communicate with his wife.
I do understand about venting your frustrations out online with strangers.
You can say things to faceless people online that you might not be able
to in real life.Keeping things bottled up inside takes it's toll over time.

Some people are drama queens' and kings' and the juicier the story,the
more flags and stars,like a one person soap opera!

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by InTheLight

 

I agree with you that this member needs to communicate with his wife.
I do understand about venting your frustrations out online with strangers.
You can say things to faceless people online that you might not be able
to in real life.Keeping things bottled up inside takes it's toll over time.

Some people are drama queens' and kings' and the juicier the story,the
more flags and stars,like a one person soap opera!

Thanks for your insights. You understand what I was trying to get across exactly. Sure, let him vent and let's try to help them both, not label, blame, nor call the other spouse names, which is what I see happening here on this forum way too often.

reply to post by Shdak


That's funny that you mentioned your son asking you why...when I got to that age I use to ask my father the same question...my mother was somewhat relentless at times...I hear where you are coming from and I don't take this as a women bashing thread...

Originally posted by chrismarco
reply to post by Shdak

 

That's funny that you mentioned your son asking you why...when I got to that age I use to ask my father the same question...my mother was somewhat relentless at times...I hear where you are coming from and I don't take this as a women bashing thread...

And what did your mother say when you asked her the same question?

Originally posted by InTheLight
You should be communicating with her and not strangers on a forum. Unless, of course, you are just looking for sympathy from the woman haters.

It is quite obvious that this^ poster is already as biased as can be.

Reading the OP he has already dealt with it for more then 25 years and considering that he mentioned trying to get her to come with him to therapy very sure that he did try communicating even before the therapy idea , things like that dont just pop up on a whim. She refused on the sjmple note of not liking critisism which closes the door to just about anything.

To keep this short, if i were the OP i would reconcile that i did my part in full, gave up enough so far and cannot deal with living and acting how she dictates/manipulates.

I know the type of person/personality well (be it man or woman ) it wont ever change and you will never be truly appreciated , it is a selfish ,egotistical personality that you can never change. even the woman's child wonders why his father is still with her so you might want to keep your judgements to yourself.

It might be time to grab the time that is left of your life for yourself for a change and live in peace for just a while at the very least.






(let me guess , i am now a woman hater because i did not side with the woman in this case )

Originally posted by InTheLight

Originally posted by chrismarco
reply to post by Shdak

 

That's funny that you mentioned your son asking you why...when I got to that age I use to ask my father the same question...my mother was somewhat relentless at times...I hear where you are coming from and I don't take this as a women bashing thread...

And what did your mother say when you asked her the same question?

edit on 22-3-2013 by InTheLight because: (no reason given)

?

He wondered why his father had not left his mother, not the other way around. What seems to be your boggle?

reply to post by InTheLight


I think he's looking for advice from other people, no reason to be a jerk about it.

reply to post by Shdak


Sounds like you and her need some distance. That's what happens when 2 people live together for years on end. They start hating everything about eachother and everything you do annoys them (especially women).

There are three sides to every story which are yours, theirs and the truth. There are plenty of people on here who can sympathize with a rotten spouse. I wonder what your wife would say if she got to write about you on this forum without knowing your own words here. I won't guess what they are because it's stupid. I don't know either of you. I was miserable in my own marriage, had 4 children under the age of 7, and had not worked in 8 years and I still decided it was better to get a divorce than live with a misogynist who couldn't take care of us.

It's taken me over 10 years to rebuild my life, and we barely make it, but I won't look back and criticize my ex for wasting my life. He did not want to change, he did not want to work on our marriage, and because of that, I left. You will have to deal with your own decisions. Get a job, work on the marriage or get out of it, it's your choice.

I wish you well.

reply to post by Rubic0n


So, you know the facts in this relationship because of his post? You know nothing about their marriage and neither do I. Not all therapists are great, and just because he said he wanted it and she didn't doesn't mean it is true. In my experience, marriage therapists are more likely divorce therapists. Rarely do couples work out their differences, but some do. He has four choices, get a job, work on marriage, leave marriage, stay together and play the what if game never taking responsibility for his own life decisions.

Don't know which is more trying, your wife, or the woman who must have the 'last word'.......

Being single at your age, I'm your age, single, and very content, lack for nothing, and have no one to answer to, or about what I do or don't do. Nothing worse than a contentious woman........ a biblical truth.

Initiate a separation yourself if you want relief. It's that simple, even your Son had queued in on her behavior and disdains it.

Originally posted by UnifiedSerenity
I wonder what your wife would say if she got to write about you on this forum without knowing your own words here. I won't guess what they are because it's stupid.

Why does she need to know ?

Does the OP need a special hall pass from her to do so ?
The man is in need of some help and doesn't know what to do, he tried to do it with her , didn't work , do you mind? and if so ,why.

This is easy.

When she starts in on you... MAN UP
Tell her to shut her F****** mouth.

The only reason she continues to talk sh** to you is because you take it.
DONT TAKE IT. Snap back. Point your finger in her face and tell her off.
Tell her how miserable she makes you feel and she isn't worth the F****** time of day.
Easy.
Then walk away. hell.... go get a beer at the local sports bar with your son and chill.

But before you do all of this.... Maybe you should get a job. So you can manage your finances when she takes EVERYTHING you ever worked for by using the judicial system. Alimony too?

To the OP. I understand completely. You are not alone. I have found similar circumstances more manageable by continuing to lower my expectations of my wife's behaviour. I no longer expect she will respond as I "want.." She will always behave in a predictable and opposite fashion. She will always act selfishly and nothing I do will be appreciated. Even when she is passed out drunk or acting like a 10 year old child, she will never accept responsibility for these actions. It is always my fault.

Does yours also have a tendency to expect you to be reading from a script? But one which she hasn't provided you a copy of? Is she thoughtless, yet shrouds it under the cover of honesty? But then will lie when the truth will suffice?

These people are vampires. Emotional vampires who suck their victims dry.

Just had an episode with mine last night, so I must take a bit of my own medicine now.

Your choice is to leave or stay. You didn't cause her problems. You can't change her behaviour. You can't control her actions.

Originally posted by Rubic0n

Originally posted by UnifiedSerenity
I wonder what your wife would say if she got to write about you on this forum without knowing your own words here. I won't guess what they are because it's stupid.

Why does she need to know ?

Does the OP need a special hall pass from her to do so ?
The man is in need of some help and doesn't know what to do, he tried to do it with her , didn't work , do you mind? and if so ,why.

The OP seems a bit spineless IMHO.

BOONDOCK SAINTS
Connor: [during job training for an avid feminist] The rule of thumb here is...
Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?

Originally posted by UnifiedSerenity
reply to post by Rubic0n

 

So, you know the facts in this relationship because of his post? You know nothing about their marriage and neither do I. Not all therapists are great, and just because he said he wanted it and she didn't doesn't mean it is true. In my experience, marriage therapists are more likely divorce therapists. Rarely do couples work out their differences, but some do. He has four choices, get a job, work on marriage, leave marriage, stay together and play the what if game never taking responsibility for his own life decisions.

I don't need to know them or whether the OP was telling the truth. All i need to know to respond is what the OP brings and what he asks. I take it on good faith that he is telling the truth as i have no reason to make him out to be a liar. Or do you want me to contact his wife for you and point her to this thread or something to make sure about everything he said before we respond ?

It is simple , i respond to information that he has and we cannot verify but it is his relationship and his cry for help if indeed he is not telling the truth then only he will know and he will also know that any response is invalidated by this. No one here other then the OP even needs to know this if this is so. If that where so. But because of your unfounded defense based on a "what if" scenario people cannot advice the OP?

Like you said , you don't know them , all you know about them is what the OP told you from his own experience. There is no need to defend the other party in this story since you do not know her , other then what the OP told you and , based on what the OP told me i responded.

There is not anything me or you can do to prove or verify him OR to disprove beyond that so why the drama, why even partake!? There is no one here for you to defend other then the OP and the situation he has described for himself. You either believe the OP is telling the truth or you don't, if you don't then you are in the position of not having any proof to back that up.

Originally posted by resoe26

Originally posted by Rubic0n

Originally posted by UnifiedSerenity
I wonder what your wife would say if she got to write about you on this forum without knowing your own words here. I won't guess what they are because it's stupid.

Why does she need to know ?

Does the OP need a special hall pass from her to do so ?
The man is in need of some help and doesn't know what to do, he tried to do it with her , didn't work , do you mind? and if so ,why.

The OP seems a bit spineless IMHO.

BOONDOCK SAINTS
Connor: [during job training for an avid feminist] The rule of thumb here is...
Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?

that was just weird.

Originally posted by Shdak
Thanks for the read... guys/gals, but I already know what I'm into, It fits... but nothing you can do when treatment is refused and I'm not looking to divorce at the moment

What ARE you looking for? Confirmation? Sympathy? Support? Ideas? You don't want a divorce and there's nothing you can do. Well?

Originally posted by Rubic0n

Originally posted by resoe26

Originally posted by Rubic0n

Originally posted by UnifiedSerenity
I wonder what your wife would say if she got to write about you on this forum without knowing your own words here. I won't guess what they are because it's stupid.

Why does she need to know ?

Does the OP need a special hall pass from her to do so ?
The man is in need of some help and doesn't know what to do, he tried to do it with her , didn't work , do you mind? and if so ,why.

The OP seems a bit spineless IMHO.

BOONDOCK SAINTS
Connor: [during job training for an avid feminist] The rule of thumb here is...
Rosengurtie: Wait, rule of thumb? In the early 1900s it was legal for men to beat their wives, as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb.
Connor: Can't do much damage with that then, can we? Perhaps it should have been a rule of wrist?

that was just weird.

?? And how is that?

I'd jettison the emotional vampire.