John Kerry's Job Application As The American People See It

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE: 7 mansions, including one in Washington DC, worth multi-millions. I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement. In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill. I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire. I served in Vietnam (four months).

MILITARY:
I served in Vietnam (four months). I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor). I served in Vietnam (four months). I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, claiming they committed atrocities and were baby killers. I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest. Or did I? My book " Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military. I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my counterpart George Bush, I have no higher education and did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress and have been there ever since. I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women and running their companies vicariously through them. I served in Vietnam (four months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself. Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it. I voted for every liberal piece of legislation. I have no plan to help this country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am elected. I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up. I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $ 700 million. I served in Vietnam (four months).

I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe. We can make more profit from the cheaper cost of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country. I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts. I served in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None. However, I served in Vietnam (four months)..

PERSONAL I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against large, polluting, inefficient vehicles and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

Whether you like or not, John Kerry served 4 months in Vietnam.

Oh goody! A "post your stupid e-mail" thread! Here's mine:

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Originally posted by curme

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Thank you curme, can you send those Fed Ex Std overnight.

Does it burn you up when your candidate just isn't capable.

[edit on 1-11-2004 by AntiPolitrix]

Well AntiPolitrix I thought that was quite stupid really. So I thought I'll do one on Bush

Name: George Bush

Residence: White house until Jan, where I shall move back to Texas.

Experience- Education where I reform education with No child left behind, however since I decided to invade Iraq for WMDS I didn't fund No child left behind. Where I then spent 200 billion dollars to topple Saddam and discover there weren't any WMDS or any links to Al-Qaeda. Before that I led a impressive grand colation where we cornered Bin Laden, but I then outsource the job, which I like to do, to Afghan Warlords who were fighting each other a week earlier. My experience goes on, but those are some examples on how conservative I am: I cut taxes to the rich, which allowed the health premiums to go through the roof! Didn't fund the no child left behind, those kids can learn off 30 year old text books, I should know i used them. And I just enjoy starting fights with no plan to bring the peace. Oh I didnt serve in Vietnam my daddy got me in the National Guard where I barely showed up for that!

College: I attended Yale University, my daddy got me in through some generous donations, where I was a C average student, unlike my challenge John Kerry who was one of the elite students. Oh I didnt go to Vietnam my daddy got me in the National Guard!

Military: Did I mention where my daddy got me in the national guard instead of going to Vietnam unlike my challenger John F. Kerry, who was wounded and recieved 3 purple stars, and even has a piece of metal still stuck in his leg. Of course I could have gone to Vietnam, but I wanted to be stayhome soldier!

Past Experience: After college and ummm Texas, I help run a failed campaign for politician. Where I than decide to own the Texas Rangers for awhile, oh than I did become a Governor of Texas. After that I bought the 2000 election, allowed the bloodiest terrorist attack on my watch, and than took us to war with a country who didn't even attack us. Oh did i mention my daddy got me into the national guard.

Accomplishments: Where to begin, I turned a surplus in a deficient. Umm I lost jobs, and I outsorced them to other countries, and I let Bin Laden go. Those are just some of my accomplishments, I'll let ya see the rest later. Oh I didn't show up for part of my national guard service, no biggy.

Record and References: Bin laden wants me he says im his poster boy for new recruitments. Umm Big Oil, Halliburen. Unlike my challenger who has my daddys formal military generals wanting him in. And dont let me start on those pesky teachers who support Kerry, or some businesses who support him. Oh my daddys supports me, he supported me when I join the National Guard instead of serving in Vietnam unlike my challenger who did.

Personal: I pray a lot, and based my decisions on my prayers most of the time. I know they say keep church and state separate but screw them. Umm I use to be a big drinker, ummm when I get bored I give more tax breaks to the rich and I help oil companies out. Screw the environment, oh did I mention my daddy got me into the National Guard where I didn't show up for some of the service so I wouldn't have to go fight along side with my challenger John Kerry!

Full marks CMCLA2003 for the more accurate picture of either of the major candidates.

But I'm not sure Bush really prays a lot. Maybe he will need to start very soon, after the shrub removal and fungicide specialists clean out the Whitehouse.

maybe you missed it CMC, but kerry was an equally low-grade student at Yale. and do you really think he got in under normal circumstances?

I'm really in a rush so I'm only going to take the time to challenge one of your points. Kerry is a poor guy compared to Bush. He himself is worth only about 3 million where Bush is worth several hundred million. I don't know where you get that 700 million unless you think Thereas Heinz gave her corporation to Kerry when they married.

Well all I ahve to say can be said with a picture, one just for you liberals on the eve of a major defeat.




hehe....

Edsinger - thats the best pic you've come up with yet, including the many French ones

Time to fight fire with fire, you want to bring on the dirty pictures...



Enjoy

Well lets do that but this one means the most




And for what this is really about....




[edit on 1-11-2004 by edsinger]

Bush wants your vote.

So he is a Intellectual Liberal who is wealthy... and that makes him a bad person how?

Originally posted by edsinger


[edit on 1-11-2004 by edsinger]

Not when it costs us our social freedoms.

Social freedom is far easier to regain than Freedom itself

FREEDOM : Priceless


geo

www.liquidgeneration.com...





[edit on 1-11-2004 by LostSailor]

oh wait heres one more good one.... the liberal moderators are gonna hate this one though

he called Kerry a female dog... that is some funny stuff


[edit on 1-11-2004 by LostSailor]

So... we now hate intelligence and poise in this country! Way to go!

Originally posted by astroblade
maybe you missed it CMC, but kerry was an equally low-grade student at Yale. and do you really think he got in under normal circumstances?

Here is the quesition I posed to you astroblade prove it. I did a search of the web and I couldnt find any reliable information about John Kerrys grades.

Dont forget, Foreign policy under Kerry




"President Bush said John Kerry is on both sides of every issue. And Kerry replied, 'No, I'm not ... but there is some truth to that.' " �Craig Kilborn


"Well the good news for Democrats, now over half the country can identify a picture of John Kerry. The bad news, the majority still thinks he's the dad from 'The Munsters."' �Jay Leno


"John Kerry went duck hunting and he's doing that to fulfill his campaign pledge to hunt down the ducks and kill them wherever they are! Kerry did pretty well; he came back with four ducks and three Purple Hearts." --David Letterman



We should all be laughing this rough night!