I Was a Victim: The Steubenville Rape Case is Not Isolated!!

I'm a survivor. mst. When it happened, I reported it through the doctor, but refused to address it and went on with my training and my four year stint through the military. It wasn't until I was switched to a new unit in Germany that it all came to a head, and the storm was devastating. In ignoring it for so long, I'd spiraled myself into a very deep depression. The particular unit I was assigned to, well, it had some not so nice people in it, and it was the final trigger. I had to get out of the military - where this problem is rampant.

This thread was very difficult to read, and I found myself crying through most of it. I feel for all of you have come forward to share your experiences. It's a devastating experience - and I've yet to look at a stranger and feel anything but distrust of them. The world is an ugly place, where excuses are made and the finger pointed at the victim. I've even seen it in this thread. It's sad.

Peace,
Cirque

reply to post by kimish


You put it in much better words than I could but yes exactly what you said is 100% where I stand also.

Originally posted by Druscilla
No means NO.
If a person is incapable of saying NO, that also equals NO.

In my more controversial militant far-fetched and impractical musings, I sometimes consider how nice it would be were someone to design an effective communicable airborne high-mortality plague keyed to target anyone and everyone with a Y chromosome.

Thoughts like this are of course wrong as there's nothing wrong with most men.
Still, it's abstractedly amusing to consider burning most to the field down to the soil to destroy all the weeds where an entirely new culture could be cultivated in its place.

It'd solve more problems worldwide than just sexual violence.
The entire geo-political theater and global political infrastructure as well as what issues are important and how they're addressed would change with an overwhelming majority population of Women.

It's a Science Fiction scenario that won't happen, but, a 80-90% female demographic would very definitely be quite different.
I don't think the boys left over would mind so much either; surrounded by girls, every boy would have a constant stream of variety to pursue and enjoy.

edit on 19-3-2013 by Druscilla because: (no reason given)

Replace your moronic post with any other group in society and it would have been labelled an extreme t&c violation.

Yet again ATS displays it's f***ing hypocrisy.

Self protection and what not. Ie. do not go out dressed like a hooker and not expect to get negative attention men, DO not go to a party and over indulge in alcohol because this could happen, etc. etc etc

I see this alot throughout this thread and I feel it my duty as a human to protect.

With this type of anolgy it can be equated to the same as -

"Do not drive a car as you might be in an accident!"

Do you people see how rediculous your statement is..?

Dressing provocatively and excessively drinking is not an excuse for a predator
to assault someone as you fine citizens would have us caring people believe.

STOP making excuses for immorality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

reply to post by HumAnnunaki


I'm not "making excuses". I already said it isn't the victim's fault by any means. At the same time, why put yourself in a bad situation that could be avoided. And no, rape and driving a car are 2 completely different things.

I think it's ridiculous people are oblivious and expect that everyone is going to act the same way as you and me. Their are sicko's everywhere, in all walks of life, so if you want to "protect people" teach some common since like not drinking so much as to where you are completely incapacitated. Their have been numerous articles by rapists, and one major thing many of them all have in common is an easy target. Why make yourself completely defenseless? Because you think life is all daisys and tulips? Obviously what we are doing to try and stop rape isn't working by any means.

reply to post by HumAnnunaki


I wasn't making excuses. I was pointing out possible triggers for heinous acts. Dressing provocatively or what ever could arouse a twisted individual to a point to where he would rape said woman. Get my point? It's more like, Don't drive while drunk and less like your analogy of don't drive if you want to get into an accident.
YOu're thinking and responding with too much emotion and not enough logic.
If someone is clean off of drugs for a few years you don't flash drugs in front of them because their chance of relapse is greater than if no drugs had been brought out. It's all Common sense.

Well this thread unearthed a whole host of painful memories for me.

A very difficult read ...

As a female who has experienced more than one sexual assault, both as a child and a young woman, there are situations which I simply refuse to place myself in. Walking alone at night, drinking to excess, house parties, being anywhere but in public on a first date, etc - all completely off limits.

It's very hard to divorce yourself from shame ... even when you know to some extent that you are not to blame. That being said, I do feel a need to assume personal responsibility for my safety and as such know to take precautions.

My heart to all the fellow ladies and gents out there who have suffered at the hands of some deviant.

Okay, question for you .. I am playing Devil's advocate here btw.. I obviously agree that rape is an atrocity and is never acceptable.

There was a recent news story of a man who went into a strip club and got drunk. He then proceeded to spend $10,000.00 on dancers, drinks, whatever... he left without paying and claimed he was too drunk and they (strip club, strippers, etc) took advantage of him and bilked him for all this money. He went to court and the judge essentially said, you got drunk, it was your responsibility to maintain control of yourself, therefore you are liable for the expenses.

Fast forward to the party this girl was at, she got drunk and more than one person who was at the party (again, from the coverage, this came out) that said this girl was drunk as all hell and was horny.. the guys were obviously drinking as well... why is it hat the court determined the guy who went to the strip club was drunk but liable for his actions when the girl was drunk and not liable for her actions at the party.

Please know I am not advocating that its of for anyone to do anything to anyone else when they are under the influence but does anyone else see a legal double standard here or am I just being a loon?

Thanks.

reply to post by DoubleDNH


Because there is a double standard when it comes to gender. And she was a kid, not an adult.

Originally posted by LoverBoy
reply to post by HumAnnunaki

 

I'm not "making excuses". I already said it isn't the victim's fault by any means. At the same time, why put yourself in a bad situation that could be avoided. And no, rape and driving a car are 2 completely different things.

I think it's ridiculous people are oblivious and expect that everyone is going to act the same way as you and me. Their are sicko's everywhere, in all walks of life, so if you want to "protect people" teach some common since like not drinking so much as to where you are completely incapacitated. Their have been numerous articles by rapists, and one major thing many of them all have in common is an easy target. Why make yourself completely defenseless? Because you think life is all daisys and tulips? Obviously what we are doing to try and stop rape isn't working by any means.

edit on 20-3-2013 by LoverBoy because: (no reason given)

You don't drive a car drunk or texting or too fast without increasing the risk of an accident. Whereas the victim cannot or should not be blamed, there is nothing wrong with taking some common sense precautions to make yourself less vulnerable to being victimized.

Originally posted by DoubleDNH
Okay, question for you .. I am playing Devil's advocate here btw.. I obviously agree that rape is an atrocity and is never acceptable.

There was a recent news story of a man who went into a strip club and got drunk. He then proceeded to spend $10,000.00 on dancers, drinks, whatever... he left without paying and claimed he was too drunk and they (strip club, strippers, etc) took advantage of him and bilked him for all this money. He went to court and the judge essentially said, you got drunk, it was your responsibility to maintain control of yourself, therefore you are liable for the expenses.

Fast forward to the party this girl was at, she got drunk and more than one person who was at the party (again, from the coverage, this came out) that said this girl was drunk as all hell and was horny.. the guys were obviously drinking as well... why is it hat the court determined the guy who went to the strip club was drunk but liable for his actions when the girl was drunk and not liable for her actions at the party.

Please know I am not advocating that its of for anyone to do anything to anyone else when they are under the influence but does anyone else see a legal double standard here or am I just being a loon?

Thanks.

Before i answer your question, was the man in the strip club violated in any physical way? Did anyone in that club force him to stay and pay for the pleasure of being there? Did he say no at any point to giving out money and yet was still forced to do so against his will?

Does it make a difference? The argument used by the prosecution in the Steubenville case stated that the girl was completely incapacitated and did not have the where-with-all to say no or put up a defense..similar to the situation of the guy in the strip club.

Liable for your actions when drunk = liable for your actions when drunk according to the law...

Originally posted by DoubleDNH
Does it make a difference? The argument used by the prosecution in the Steubenville case stated that the girl was completely incapacitated and did not have the where-with-all to say no or put up a defense..similar to the situation of the guy in the strip club.

Liable for your actions when drunk = liable for your actions when drunk according to the law...

It absolutely makes a difference, in case you were unaware, we are talking about rape - A sexual act that takes place against the individuals will/consent. The story of the male is a question of freewill and im asking you, did he have the free will to leave the strip club? Was he forced to stay? was he forced to spend money? If the answer is no, then how can you compare it to rape? If anything its just an extraction of someone's money and as the saying goes a fool is easily parted with his money.

Put him in a casino, you get the same result.

If he was blacked out and they took his money, thats robbery and no he doesn't deserve it because people shouldn't rob.
If he was blacked out and someone raped him, its not his fault because people shouldn't rape each other!

The logic is quite simple really, Treat others as you would like to be treated and im pretty sure most men wouldnt want to be molested by someone.

reply to post by NavyDoc


I think we are on the same page then. Good post

reply to post by NavyDoc


Common sense precautions, that is what I gave examples of saying that women need to be taught. Maybe, reread my first post, you may have taken it the wrong way. I don't always put my thoughts down on writing as I want them to come out, if so, my appologies.

Its time everyone wakes up and realizes that any kind of physical abuse to people weaker than you is evil. The problem is that all the bullies make the laws

The synopsis of the Steubenville incident;

The young girl in question broke up with her boyfreind on the "rape crew" football team.

He posted on Facebook that "no one breaks up with me and gets away with it".

He then coerced team members to stratogize a vindictive event.

The girl in question was asked by the football team member to date her.

She was unsure and so met him at her girlfreinds house where she began drinking
and it is heavily suspected that is where she was "ROOFIED" and then brought to different parties
where she was asaulted in various different manners incliding rape, sodomy, various
individuals peeing on her and taking videos and photos.

She was NOT TOO DRUNK to say no; she was incapable fron the roofie sedative.

The whole 'plan' was a vindictive humilation game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To make matters worse, photos of her were taken and spread around including
remarks on Facebook and Twitter with some sick individual sending her brother a photo of the event.

SOMEBODY please point out what she did wrong..?

She has been consistently harrassed from the 'town folk' even though it was not her whom
brought this plight to knowledge.

Recently after the sentencing of the two known rapists, she has also recevied threats
from two females of death and or bodily harm.

She is still being victimized.

Please STOP victimizing her on this thread.

reply to post by HumAnnunaki


Did Rufies show up in a tox screen or is it hearsay? Also, she was drunk and supposedly horny according to some... I know many many women that get wasted and beg to be penetrated. Isn't it possible she was like that? And as you know, alcohol makes people think irrationally so who's to say she wasn't at first begging to be ___ and the boys, whom were also drinking, took it upon themselves to give her what she wanted, even when she was passed out.
Now, don't take this the wrong way or twist what I am saying but At the end of the day what the boys did was wrong and they do deserved to be punished and she didn't deserved to be raped but it is also possible that she's no angel so she shouldn't made out to be one. I'm not saying she is, I'm just stating for in the future.

reply to post by HumAnnunaki


Many of us here have stated on numerous occasions that we weren't specifically talking about the Steubanville case. What do you not get about that? This thread is more than just about this sole case as we have all been made aware of multiple tragic events in this thread.

Originally posted by kimish
reply to post by DoubleDNH

 

Because there is a double standard when it comes to gender. And she was a kid, not an adult.

The guy went to the strip club and was spending money, he may have gotten drunk but he was willingly participating as he was getting drunk.

This girl passed out and was raped, without consent and for those who said she was participating, there were reports of them taking her unconscious form from one place to others. Quite a different scenario.