reply to post by rockinrobbin
Welcome to ATS rockinrobin,
your reply gave me goosebumps.
I have often wondered why one just get that instinctive "deepdown bone-marrow" type of instant fear of/dislike for some people.I will never
forget,some years ago we were watching the Olympics,men's gymnastics,on TV,and i saw this American gymnast-instantly i was overtaken by a most
horrible,horrible sick feeling-i was literally nauseous.Just profound distaste,dislike,a kind of disgusted horror,even-inexplicable.So i do understand
that feeling of yours about the janitor.
I was born with 2 birthmarks myself,on on my face,and one on my lower back.The one on my face was surgically removed,but the one on my back had
disappeared by itself by the time i was around 10/11,my adoptive mother saw fit to only have my facial birthmark removed then.It was'nt big-but by
that time i Was heartily sick of people who just met me asking;"Is that a birthmark you got there?"
I have had pastlife visions,but never anything pertaining to an injury,not a physical one anyway.
My interest is more in how our relationships,wonderful or catastrophic,relates to past lives.
Because really,i think we keep meeting the same people we had issues with,the ones we murdered,the ones we loved extremely much,the ones we could
never get along with,the ones that loved us,or caused us pain,or murdered us.I think we are supposed to keep meeting them till at least we can be at
peace with each other,if not much more.I dont think its possible to meet all of them in every lifetime,that would be impossible,but imo,we get a few
of the ones we had major beef with,or them with us,in every lifetime.
My oldest daughter and i have a big "personality clash",and the weird thing is,she shares a birthday with my adoptive mother,who was catastrophic
for me,i suffered tremendous mental,emotional and psychological abuse at her hands,as well as physical,though that was Nothing compared to the first 3
types i mentioned.
My husband's mother ,who despises me,and always has,shares a starsign with my late adoptive mother,and my daughter-Pisces-so i wonder sometimes if
these huge personality clashes can be as simple as that Taurus women and Pisces women do not get along,in any way shape of form.
Or if these are people i have wronged very badly in past lives?Maybe even murdered?
Well,i cannot walk away from my child,as i could fom my adoptive mother,or my husband's mother,simply because i do love her,even if we never got
along,and experienced much strife and unhappiness-partly because i made many mistakes,partly because of circumstances beyond our control,partly
because of mistakes she made.
The important thing is to hold onto the love,and to forgive-she knows i love her,as a matter of fact,we had an emotional and weepy phone conversation
earlier this morning,but it was good,we Talk,and we cry,and we keep holding onto each other even when it gets difficult,and from that i can conclude
that she does love me too-its just that we have to work really,Really hard at it,with my other 2 children,its effortless,it just flows,as does her
relationship with her fiance's mother.They just naturally "click" as i just naturally "click" with my 2 younger children-but my daughter's
future mom-in-law has the exact same problem with HER own daughter,while with her son,its easyflow,a deep and effortless connection and bond.
So yeah,that part of it is of great interest to me.
Well,in this lifetime,my daughter and i keep holding on,because we do love each other even if we can't get along,while with my mother and my
husband's mother-it worked out better to just not spend any time together-at least we did'nt kill each other this time round,which is an
improvement.I certainly tried with my husband's mother,but eventually after her living with us for 3 years and making my life a misery+being very
abusive,she and my hubby's dad found their own place after a massive,catastrophic argument.I can take a lot,and for a long time,but eventually i Will
detonate.So now she never comes to visit,but as she lives on the other side of the country,visits were few and far between anyway.
Here's the thing though-when she still would occasionally come to visit,i could always see(despite me bending over backwards to accommodate her,and
putting up with rudeness for the sake of peace) she literally could NOT be around me for longer than 3 days at a time-i could see her getting
physically uncomfortable by the 2nd day.This really seems to go much deeper than a "personality clash" whether based on astrological compatibility
or whatever else.