What seems odd to me is that her answers never sound truthful, but if it's what she said then how can I prove it wrong.
My first thought is 'abandonment' on my part, because I was not actively her mother for ONE YEAR, as I recuperated in hospital and rehabilitation.
Then upon setting up a new home after that, I was in a wheelchair and did things differently.
I cannot remember how "in tune" a 6 year old would be with her surroundings-- yet our lives were busy with my taking her to classes in baton, gym,
swimming, church groups, string orchestra concerts and parent teacher nights....all of which she was in favour.
My second thought was who she married. She was 19 and he was 30 when they met and about 3 months later, home one day from University, announced that
they would be married the following June. AS nicely as I could I tried to discuss that she hadn't known him long, and she had told me things that made
we 'wonder' about him.... so suggested that if were really LOVE, it would last but please let me put her through University first. She said, 'I love
him and we're getting married whether you like it or not, and if you don't like it then don't bother coming."...the first she had ever used that tone
with me! (I was in fear of losing her so was rather 'walked on', and didn't like it but tried to keep the peace and paid for her wedding.) (1984)
Later I knew she wasn't happy. It was obvious and she told me he owed $250,000.00, when they married, hadn't told her. (He was already borrowing from
me.) He kept her in solitude and poverty, had 3 kids then kicked me off his property or he'd "put a bullet through my head", (1991)
Then she left him, (1994) but never talked to me about it, but I never said, "I told you so". I never would. Then she put herself through University,
part-time while working part- time and had one, not successful, affair.
In 2010 she wrote to say she is lesbian, so my choices as to what her problems really were are there. Maybe there were others, like losing her son to
his father @ 14., but he is 26 now, all appears well ...except now the youngest son (20) doesn't appear on Facebook with her.
I suspect that I will never know the real truth of WHY? and even if I guessed it, she would never admit.....but she sure loved me when she was little
and we were joined at the hip. She had things she wanted, but also had her chores and an allowance to. She was never into drugs, drinking, or smoking,
was an A+ student graduating High School with Honours! Does that sound like a troubled child?
"Look to the man", I say, considering where she is today!
Thanks all for trying!
edit on 19-3-2013 by canadiansenior70 because: add info