posted on Mar, 19 2013 @ 08:29 AM
Some excellent advice has been given here...
coping mechanisms such as the gym, journaling, socializing are good starts.
I would not recommend church or military, but that's my bias based on what I've seen can happen to sensitive people from the 'indoctrination' that
goes with either one.
It is very true that you CAN NOT FIX this...you're in the role of "hero", and if you understand family systems and addiction, that's an impossible
role to play. Codependents, yes, as schuyler said.
A family member can NOT fix the family, an outside influence, an objective eye is needed, and knowledge of how to make changes in group dynamics and
family systems. I suggest you look into "family systems" theory, even doing so on your own can help you immensely.
Also, a good THERAPIST can help you navigate this, and extract yourself from it. I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Every one of
those people are in a great deal of pain and spinning their wheels with it, feeding off of each other and unaware of how they are enabling the system
Yes, you should remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible, and if you want some help, don't rely just on an internet forum or friends,
seek professional counseling. They can help you - pick one that is a Clinical Social Worker who specializes in Children and Families, and also
addictions. There are free mental health clinics in nearly every city and town of this country - seek one out. They will be non-profits (even
Catholic Charities has excellent non-religious practitioners). Do a simple search for "Community Mental Health Clinics" (or might be called
"Community Behavioral Health" or some other similar name.
They will offer you service based on your income - if you have none, or simply can't afford it, they will STILL treat you, and there are VERY GOOD
Clinical Psychotherapists/Counselors at these non-profits.
Please don't discount this idea...many people are unaware that such help is available, or don't "trust" the practiitoners. I can assure you,
however, that those places have licensed, experienced people at the helm, and even if you are put in contact with an intern, they work UNDER
SUPERVISION and ALL take their cases to their Supervisors for guidance.
That said, not ALL COUNSELORS are good, nor are all good counselors good matches for ALL CLIENTS. If you don't trust the counselor, if they try to
"cure" you rather than looking at it as a "team effort" to help you achieve YOUR GOALS, then find someone else (this is why I stress Clinical
Social Workers as opposed to Psychologists - they are trained differently: CSW does not try to "cure" a "patient" - they work to empower and
educate and guide the client after the CLIENT decides how they want things to be. A psychologist will use the "medical model" - that they are the
EXPERT and you are DEFECTIVE. CSW's again - see you as a CLIENT who is the EXPERT ON YOURSELF, and capable of establishing your OWN GOALS, and helps
you to achieve those goals.)
Best of luck to you, dear. My daughter is your age, and even thinking of her dealing with such a horror-house breaks my heart.
I bet your parents will be happy for you and proud of you for being so resilient, but again, you need to understand the dynamics of your family before
you can start to extract yourself from it emotionally. Physically is easier, but even then, you'll have scars worth tending to.
I wish you well, whatever you decide to do. Remember that since YOU appear to be of sound mind, you are an example of the beautiful resilience that
is possible for people surrounded by the direst circumstances - they can flourish anyway.