posted on Dec, 10 2004 @ 04:00 PM
I didn't "exactly" ask.
Frau Dr is of middle eastern descent. Her father, particularly, is "old school."
I originally wanted her to travel with me a great distance, to meet my family. Her father said "no." And his darling would never disobey him. So
I had my mother phone her mother, and explain arrangements so that Frau would stay in my parents' home while I stayed with friends of theirs a few
Her father said "No!" I traveled to their home, and arrived with no advance notice. I explained that I planned to ask her to marry me, and that
there was a family wedding ring that is sort of group property in my family since the civil war. My mother wanted Frau to come and visit, so mom
could give me the ring and I put it on Frau Dr's. hand, with my whole family present.
Her Daddy was extremely impressed that I had already "secured the permission" of my own family, and that my mother had called with arrangements.
He said, "Are you asking my permission?" I said something along the lines of "your daughter is extremely headstrong. I'm sure she will do
whatever she wants, regardless of whatever YOU or I might hope for or agree on." (That drew a laugh from him and a snicker from Frau's Momma.)
"Let's just say I'm asking for your blessing."
He laughed and asked how I could support her on a student's scholarships (He had already researched my standing in grad school!). I explained that
once we both graduated we already had offers for excellent jobs.
He turned his back on me but kept talking.
He asked "then why not wait until you have good jobs?" I told him that his daughter is so beautiful and smart, and has many admirers, that I was
afraid a competitor might steal her away.
He turned around and his eyes were gushing with dears. He gave me a huge hug, and said a blessing on the marriage.
My biggest fear after that was that he would tell his daughter about the surpise I had planned! (He told everyone he knew, including casual business
contacts. It was a wonder she hadn't heard by the time I DID propose.)
This wasn't verbatim what happened, but close enough.