3 Killer Commando Dolphins From Ukraine On The Loose

Well they definitely better punish these AWOL dolphins if they are ever found. They should not have joined the military if they wanted to do regular dolphin related stuff. Obviously this is humorous because of the fact that the dolphins did not volunteer, because they're dolphins...They don't have the vocal abilities to volunteer for the military. And now random divers are going to turn up dead or missing...or all blowed up. I wonder if the dolphins had any explosives on them at the time, perhaps in special dolphin-belts, similar to what they put on combat dogs.

LOL I'm sorry but this is the weirdest story I've read in a long time. I know they are smart.. but come on.. why would you teach them this stuff? Idk though they might even devise a masterplan to take out the elite. in which case is a good thing.

Erm "LOL"

Last I heard, they moved to Canada and now smoke hasish and sing kumbaya. They were considering moving to the US for the free healthcare and cell phones. But since they are quite old, they didn't want to chance the death panels. Especially since cell phones cause brain tumors. Now who's the smarter species?

BTW, perhaps Obama had the right idea with the free cell phones after all.

Soviet-era Russian Commando Dolphins would chase female dolphins and take off, but always returned within a week. True story.

Originally posted by Lil Drummerboy
expecting a dolphin to be a "Killer"
is like asking a seasoned nun to go rob a bank.

just not in the genes

Dude... Go learn about dolphins some more and then come back and try again! These cuddly little creatures of yours are straight up vicious killers and rapists. Don't let the fact that they have a playful side and look.cute fool you...

At least it wasnt the commando jetpack dolphin atomic attack squad, or we would be in some serious trouble.

reply to post by Biigs


Hilarious comment , you just made my day , thumbs up

TheGreazel

This morning they admitted that this was a false-belief task story aimed at children and the autistic.

www.theatlantic.com...

So do we move this to the hoax bin? What was the motive for running the story in the first place?

Nothing to see here! Move along! Yeah right; the surest sign of a coverup, eh? Eh?!

Some drug lord Bond movie villain type probably hijacked their commando dolphins using his corrupt military contacts. Now they guard his pool and entertain his party guests by taking out his prisoners. Feeding them to tigers just got too boring.

HOLY SH$T! Killer dolphins!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!! Be afraid! Very afraid!! BUGOUT TIME!!!

Well, if they were still making episodes of Seaquest DSV, this would be a perfect plot!

reply to post by canucks555


I wouldn't be surprised if these dolphins taught others their training and how to hunt and track more effeciently. In fact, I wouldn't put any doubt into that thought. Captive dolphins, when released into the wild, have been shown to 'teach' other dolphins the tricks they learned while being held captive.
P.s, it's sick we even allow dolphins and animals in general to be exploited like this, humans included.

Originally posted by elouina
Last I heard, they moved to Canada and now smoke hasish and sing kumbaya. They were considering moving to the US for the free healthcare and cell phones. But since they are quite old, they didn't want to chance the death panels. Especially since cell phones cause brain tumors. Now who's the smarter species?

BTW, perhaps Obama had the right idea with the free cell phones after all.

edit on 14-3-2013 by elouina because: (no reason given)

Based on those reasons, they'd stay in Canada anyways... We have already had 'free healthcare' for years, and I'm pretty sure most of us have cell phones too...

The one reason I'd put up that they'd leave is simple:

The 10 feet of snow that is there once they cross the border from U.S. to Canada... and of course, have you ever seen a dolphin living in an igloo?

Hopefully, wherever they escaped to, they made a squeeky clean exit. Just not towards any waters near Japan.

I read the headline on the ATS front page and didn't even consider the swimming creature's until I got to the actual post and saw the photo. What I did immediately think of is "Oh my, those Ukranians had to show up the US by calling their Elite team "Dolphins" because we have the Seal Team and they were implying their team was smarter etc....

I just had a good laugh and almost sent my drink out my nose trying not to burst out in my cubicle.

Originally posted by sulaw
AWOL dolphins..... Like they can be dishonerably discharged... See it's not just our troops who are tired of being used as tools of war, the Dolphins are in on it too~

reply to post by sulaw
No but I bet they get canned.

Originally posted by Cauliflower
This morning they admitted that this was a false-belief task story aimed at children and the autistic.

www.theatlantic.com...

So do we move this to the hoax bin? What was the motive for running the story in the first place?

The strangest thing about this is how plausible the whole thing actually is. Gregg studies dolphins for a living and did not seem skeptical. That's because the US and Ukrainian military do indeed have dolphins, which they've been, according to previous reports, training for combat.

Your right! The great escape turned out to be a hoax in the end, mods move if needed,
-As far as What was the motive for running the story in the first place? do you mean the initial report? Or my thread?

Worth it for a entertaining if not 100% factual thread.

The military do use dolphins for certain activity's where a diver would be either to slow or situation deemed too dangerous - the idea that some could have just swam away one day is totally plausible.

Though after spending all that money training them, the military probably have GPS probes shoved down their blow holes for just such an event

reply to post by canucks555


Move over Jason Bourne