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This guy is at a garage sale and he sees an old dog sitting there. Above the dog, a sign reads, "Talking dog - five dollars."
So, the guy says to the dog; "Can you really talk?"
"Yes," answers the dog.
So, the man says, "That's amazing. So, what's your story, why are you being sold?"
"Well," says the dog. "I was born in the late 18th century and kind of wandered the earth by myself for awhile. It was good, I had a few puppies her and there. Then, around 1938, I met my master."
"Well, what happened from there?" Asked the man.
The dog continues, "Well, my master and I were a travelling road show until we decided to join the paratroopers to help fight the Germans in the second world war."
"You actually jumped out of the planes?" Asked the man, very intrigued.
"Oh yeah, me and my master," said the dog. "Then the war ended and we started a small bakery together and both met some women and he raised his kids. Summer of love came and we traveled around a bit. He was old, but was cool with it all. In the 70s we got involved in politics and were advisers to the Carter administration until my master retired. And now, he's selling me."
"Wow," said the man. "Hang on, I'll be back."
So, the man walks up to the dogs owner and says, "Man, I can't believe you have a talking dog. That's amazing."
"Yup, it's a talking dog," says the man, in a bored tone.
"Well, I'll take him," he says, handing the man five dollars. "But, I gotta ask; why are you selling him?"
The man looks at him stoically and replies, "Cause he's a #ing liar."