posted on Jun, 14 2014 @ 02:11 AM
I don't have a diagnosis of DID, and don't dissociate in time; however, I obviously have sub-personalities (alters) running through my mind at all
times, and different aspects of whom I imagine myself to be take control depending on the situation at hand. We all work for the well being of myself.
I am one.
Having said all of that, this is the experience. Imagine a round table of associates. Each has their perspective and skills. The table works as a team
to make sure all projects are complete on time, and that the system is running smoothly. That's my psyche.
It's experienced internally as a constant shifting in perspective, and scenario-building through role-playing. I will re-imagine things already
experienced, and play them as if other people, or maybe integrate a new insight as a pattern to be thrown into the previous situation. I run through
the program and see how the introduced variable changes the system (internal movie). Maybe I'm imagining something I will do in the future, and need
to anticipate everyone's reactions to how I plan to navigate through the scene. At any rate, each internal character will put on masks, and play the
roles of the people I'm going to be meeting with.
At times, these characters will pop out for a bit. The mood changes, my perceptions change, my focus changes, my energy levels can change, my ability
for affect can change, and more. I'm aware of the shifts, fully allowing them as is best.
From a neurological perspective, I imagine neural circuitry reinforced due to positive outcomes. Each circuit represents a persona/character. Circuits
cross-fire simultaneously, and may appear as if a Christmas tree blinking on and off all over the psyche on an EEG reading.
When I go to sleep, sometimes, a bizarre phenomena occurs. I will, just before losing consciousness, expand my connection between subconscious, in
what I call the semi-conscious realm. That's when the table is expanded, or it seems more like apparitions are floating all around the room which
contain my super team around the circular table. These must be disowned aspects of my psyche, who have yet to join the team.
Now, how are my dreams? Often quite "out there". I share the multi-perspective view with bob above, sometimes. I don't think that has to do with a
lack of logic, though. I'm almost always aware of my dreamscape, ie lucid, and capable of recreating the environment to my choosing at will, else
rolling with it and deciding there may be some things to learn from my subconscious. What I find interesting is the layeredness of the dreams that I
experience from time to time. This isn't a mere dream within a dream, rather, as if each packet of information cross connects between multiple
dreamscapes, has multi-tiered meaning, and application. I'm essentially experiencing many dreams at once, with an integrative unfolding amongst them
Not sure if this may give you insight into how a DID may experience their dreams. I imagine they are more likely to have bizarre dreams, but perhaps
lack the ability to properly understand them and gain insight from them as I may. It seems the difference between creativity and "mental illness"
lies with a lack of acceptance of how and what ones reality is. I'm okay with ambiguity, and what many would label as "bad" or "wrong" or
"disordered" if it doesn't seem to do any harm. The harm seems to be in attempting to solidify that which is abstract, and in flux. Leave it be, ya