Just received these from my dad,and thought I'd share them.
If any offend you I apologize in advance
Subject: More British humour
A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Britain so that they can see their own doctor
I've just fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex.
Two Thai girls asked me if I'd like to go bed with them, they said it would be just like winning the lottery! I agreed, and they were right. We all
stripped off and to my horror, we had six matching balls!
A Muslim has died whilst training to be a skydiver. The British National Party's School of Diving said they had no idea why his snorkel and flippers
did not open.
Such an unfair world:- When a man talks dirty to a woman its considered sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man its £2.50 a minute
(charges may vary).
Just booked a table for Valentine's Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though; she's crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!
Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he's mainly black and brown with just a small white area. I've called him Bradford.
If you get an email telling you that you can catch swine flu from tins of ham then delete it. It's spam.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift
this beer belly.
Hope you had a chuckle
edit on 8/3/13 by cody599 because: Alien abduction whilst posting
edit on 8/3/13 by cody599 because: (no reason