posted on Mar, 7 2013 @ 03:18 PM
Beezzer stamped out his cigarette and poured another three fingers of scotch into a dirty glass.
“I hate this fracking town”, he mumbled under his breath. His roommate, BB (Bugs, to his friends) walked in, still on the phone.
“Manny, I get it, I get it. Cartoons are really tired today. Warner Brothers are so yesterday, as far as I’m concerned. Don’t give me a movie
of the week; I want the silver fracking screen. I want to hit the Oscars, babe, I want the shiny golden bastard on my shelf! What in the hell do I
pay you for?”
Bugs paused and listened to his beaten agent talk about an upcoming script.
He said, “Whatever, Manny. Make. It. Happen!” Bugs then slammed the phone back in the cradle and stared at Beezzer.
Beezzer took a sip of his drink and said, “Making friends all over the place, aren’t you, you prima donna!”
Bugs looked at Beezzer in disgust and said, “You two-bit loser! You’re a drunk. A lousy stand-in for Carson on occasion and a crappy backup
dancer for Madonna videos. Why I ever took you under my wing is beyond me. I should have thrown you out on your cotton tail years ago,
Beezzer took another drink and lit another cigarette. He didn’t say anything.
Bugs continued. “That adult film you did with the cast of Wild Kingdom two years ago really rocketed you to stardom, didn’t it, buddy!
How about getting caught with those hookers with Danny DiVito? Get you any calls back?”
“Face it, loser, you’re washed up. You don’t have what it takes to survive in this town. Hell, as long as I’m around, you’ll always be a
second rate bit player, bitch.”
Beezzer said nothing. Just slowly sipped his drink and smoked his cigarette.
“Well, say something, loser. You got the stones to man up to a star?” Bugs stared, waited, and then turned away with a small cough.
As soon as Bugs turned, Beezzer leapt from the sofa, bottle of scotch in hand and smashed the single malt against the right side of Bugs head. He
dropped like a stone. Without a pause, Beezzer ran to the kitchen and returned with a butcher’s knife and began cutting and hacking and cutting and
sawing. He threw the bloody pieces of his former roommate in a pot, added carrots and onions and started singing, “Hasenpfeffer. I loves me some
An anonymous donation to the local food kitchen for the homeless was soon in order.
Beezzer was interrupted though, when the phone rang. It was Manny. No, Bugs left town. Family emergency. No he couldn’t do the movie. Was
Beezzer available? Sure! Co-star with Michael Douglas and Sharon Stone? Absolutely! When should he be at the studio? Tomorrow? No problem!
The name of the project?
Beezzer finally felt that his luck was turning around.