posted on Mar, 5 2013 @ 08:27 AM
I have a personal experience with eldercare. We pay about $4000 a month to have my MIL on a memory care floor at an assisted living facility. She
has advanced Alzheimer's. Within the same conversation, she will say she is divorced, her husband is in the bathroom, her husband left her for
another woman, and she is dating someone. She no longer recognizes anyone, although she occasionally knows that someone is there to see her.
She is diabetic and has congestive heart failure. She requires many different meds during the day, most on insurance, the more expensive ones are not.
She is over 300 pounds and if left on her own would not use the toilet, bathe, eat or anything else. She does not assist when moved from one chair
to another, turning into a 300 lb. rag doll. This includes bathing and changing her diaper.
There is no way we could care for her. Where she is now does a wonderful job. She is always clean, fed appropriately, her room is kept clean, and
they provide her with a home atmosphere.
When we signed her into the home, we signed a DNR. We were told at the time that it would mean a heart attack, stroke or illness would not get any
CPR. If she would stop breathing, no mouth-to-mouth or oxygen. It does not mean withholding hydration, but would withhold nutrition should she not
be able to eat by mouth.
In such a situation as this one, a similar result would have happened. And will happen at some time.
I feel for the family.
But most I feel for the nurse, and the people who have been demonized because of this policy. Old sick people die. That cannot be helped. When that
policy is stated, understood and signed, this happens. It's not anyone's fault.