Bullying sucks because our society victimized the victims. Can't fight back cause then you're the asshole. Can't go tell anybody cause then you are a tattle tale and the status quo treats you even worse. We live in a messed up barbaric society.

There is no solution to bullying. Nobody is going o stand up for the victim. In fact we actually join in with the bully and further terrorize the victim in a mob mentality.

Sadly there is only one real solution to bullying. Make it so that if someone bullys you all bets are off. You should be allowed to literally retaliate. It's sad but with terrorists and bullies the only solution is to out bully them. Also why aren't bully's considered terrorists. Same rational.

When I was in grade school I got bullied a lot. And by the "coolest" jock in the school. Then one day I had had enough and when he was smacking me around I strait decked him and then proceeded to kick the crap out of him. Guess what. Where were all the right ons, and pats on the back after I defended myself. there were none. Instead I got. You're and asshole because you beat up the "coolest" kid in school were suspending you, but not the bully. I got suspended WTF. the teachers and admin knew I was getting smacked around literally at school. But most school teacher's especially the ones running the playgrounds are about as intelligent as the bullies. It's like if you play fair, are polite and patient with other people you are the asshole who deserves getting bullied because you're weak or something. Instead the fact is you are the only civilized person in the arena at the time and the rest are all a bunch of devolved monkeys.

And we wonder why we have a youth violence problem. Could be blow back for our own uncivilized behavior. F bullies. Sue the school. Sue the parents, Sue the teachers on the playground that knew this sort f thing was going on. Sue the kid and then put him in general population for manslaughter. See how he likes prison's version of the 52 Blocks.

Perhaps I missed it but was there a factual account of what happened when the kid was punched? I find it pretty hard to believe that a bully just punched the kid in the face for no reason. Most bullies are kids with low self-esteem who don't get violent until backed into a corner in front of their peers.

slugger9787- If you did that to me the cops would be putting you in cuffs so fast it would make your head spin. (of course my kid knows right from wrong so that would not be an issue)

If you institutionalize a kid that young and charge them with something it WILL stigmatize the rest of their life and most probably lead them to become a worse person in their maturity.

Obvious unintended consequence. This is one of those situations where a soft touch and stern disappointment rather than consequences rendered by the law would be wise.

When you're young its always feels worse and sticks in your mind longer and helps you learn when the authority figures in your life are utterly disappointed with you.

Unless the child is a total diagnosed violent sociopath already it would be unwise to institutionalize him at all.

Originally posted by Retikx
If you institutionalize a kid that young and charge them with something it WILL stigmatize the rest of their life and most probably lead them to become a worse person in their maturity.

Obvious unintended consequence. This is one of those situations where a soft touch and stern disappointment rather than consequences rendered by the law would be wise.

When you're young its always feels worse and sticks in your mind longer and helps you learn when the authority figures in your life are utterly disappointed with you.

Unless the child is a total diagnosed violent sociopath already it would be unwise to institutionalize him at all.

edit on 6-3-2013 by Retikx because: (no reason given)

All due respect but that is nonsence.. Thats the problem people wanna coddle these damm kids and tell them "oh were so disappointed with you for killing that 12 year old kid " you're grounded...

these kids were way old enough to know you dont jump another kid a recess

Bullying is very wrong and those who do it should be punished in some way....but..There is no evidence that bullying took place, or that the victim, for all we know, could have been the one bullying. The incident as quoted in the link only offers the family opinion that it was a bullying incident.... Its wrong to jump to conclusions based on your own personal feelings promoted by the word "Bullying",

It is so sad that a 12 year old has died, but without the information needed to confirm the boy died because of a Bully, condemnation is wrong.

Respects.

Originally posted by backwherewestarted

Most bullies are kids with low self-esteem who don't get violent until backed into a corner in front of their peers.

where did you come up with THAT line of manure? what you are describing is NOT a BULLY but a VICTIM of bullying. or have you found an interesting way to blame victims of bullying for being the bully themselves. "bullies" don't get violent because they are pushed into a corner, bullies get violent because they like to prove their superiority over others by beating the crap out of them. VICTIMS are the ones who are not looking for a fight but have no choice but to use as extreme violence as they are capable of to protect themselves, when backed into a corner.

as for those misguided people who just recommend "fighting back". IT DOES NOT WORK in many cases. i would have given ANYTHING for the bullying to stop. finally i DID fight back, you know what happened? it certainly WAS NOT being left alone. what happened was that as SOON AS I STARTED TO WIN, the bullies friends would JUMP IN to help out. all it caused was MORE PAIN and damage to me, as well as causing the NEED for me to USE WEAPONS AGAINST them. after all rather hard for one person to deal with 5 or 6 (up to over 20) attackers at once without resorting to weapon use. so much better would it have been for the teachers and principle to deal with the bullies.

So Jesus says, turn the other cheek,
do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I don't think anyone in the world has come up with a good way to actually stop bullying. Except for teaching your children to be good respectful people, every possible fix could backfire.

To share an example many times harassment and physical altercations are a two way street. Some kids don't get along, and they fight with each other, just like adults do. I don't think these type of situations need to be dealt with harshly at all.

Do you think it's a coincidence that school shootings would have been unimaginable in the past? Even though kids had more access to guns back then than they do now. They were allowed to bring guns to school, and schools had shooting clubs. Obviously the gun's aren't the cause of school shootings, the behavior of children is.

In the past if two kids had a problem, and got a fist fight, they might get a slap on the wrist. Now there is this "zero tolerance" BS. You can't get in a fist fight or else you get suspended or some other ridiculously extreme punishment. So instead of these kids working out their differences in a fist fight, the kids hold it in. For years they take all the abuse and hold in their feelings. Until they snap, and kill as many people as possible.

I honestly feel that's why there are school shootings, they refuse to allow boys to be boys. Me and everyone I knew when I was a kid would wrestle, box, get in fights, it was an excellent way to relieve the pressure and stress of being a kid, and to get that one guy to leave you the heck alone. But the school doesn't allow this, they make you seem like you are an evil monster if you get in a fight.

Not having a pressure valve for that stress causes it to build up until it explodes, and when it explodes kids die. Would you rather have kids getting in fights or shooting up schools?

I bring this up, because it's relevant to the subject of how to deal with bullies. Not everyone who makes fun of someone, or beats someone up is a bully. Sometimes a kid gets beaten up because he is a jackarse. Sometimes kids get harassed because they are acting like a-holes and their fellow students are sick of it.

Say john smith is getting harassed by a few fellow students, gets sick of it, and punches one in the face. Is that the best way to deal with the situation? Not really... but I bet those kids leave him alone. And the kid also got to feel good about standing up to a bully, he no longer feels like a victim who gets chit on all the time. He'd probably be less likely to explode and shoot up a school years down the line.

Say the school sees john smith punch the other kid, and then john smith gets in trouble. Now he feels that not only are his fellow students against him, but the school is against him too. He gets harassed, and then gets in trouble when he stands up to his harassers. He's unlikely to stand up for himself anymore, knowing he'll get in trouble, so he continues to get abused.

Real bullies are usually pretty good at hiding their abuse of others. Just curious, with the OP's story how do we know the poor child that passed away wasn't actually a bully to the other guy, and the other guy got sick of it?

I was always bigger and stronger than my peers when I was in school. But I was tormented by kids half my size in elementary school. When I got to middle school it got to be too much to take, and I asked my parents to be home schooled to avoid the bullies. They had no idea that I was being tormented so, because I never said anything. They asked why I didn't stand up for myself, and I said because we aren't supposed to fight or argue, basically because the school trains kids at a young age to be unprincipled pushovers.

My parents told me that if I got in trouble for defending myself they would support me 100%. Guess what? I went on a crusade of kicking wholesale ass for the rest of the school year. I was suspended several times, and my parents would take me out for ice cream and hamburgers, or go-carts, or some other fun activity when I was suspended. They knew what was going on, they refused to put up with the school's BS. I was being tormented, I stood up for myself, and I won. I was never bullied again at that school, and because of how my attitude changed I was never bullied in high school either.

This changed who I was to become as a person. If it wasn' t for that experience, it's likely I would have grown up to be a pushover who lets people take advantage him and abuse him.

It's incredibly tragic that this child lost his life, it's a freak accident and I'm sure the perpetrator feels horrible and did not intent to kill the poor kid. I mean really, who attempts to kill someone by punching them in the face? Aside from professional fighters who would even think they were capable of killing someone by sucker punching them in the face.

The kid should totally be punished, but not in a way that's going to ruin the rest of his life. We don't know who really bullies who, and there's no point in destroying two lives.