a reply to: Ca52andra
Ah. Let me gather my thoughts... and welcome to ATS
Many things can set it off, sensations, sounds, etc.
The only external stimulus I know of that will set mine off is being really, really impressed with some fantastic piece of music, or some
heart-rendingly poignant scene in a movie, or some awe-inspiring passage from a book (even if it's a book I wrote myself, sometimes). It's like my
body is saying "Respect." No, not my body, unless it's the light body; it's... the closest sensation I can relate it to would be all of my
internal organs vibrating really, really
fast, but only for - hang on, measuring it - about five seconds max. Then it just fades away, like
"something" gets tired and has to rest, but it recovers very quickly. Yet nothing physical is actually vibrating; it's just energy, non-localized,
like a bubble swelling up from inside. And I have no
idea what to do with it.
We sound like such freaks, don't we...
This other thing is brought on by force of will. I can do it anytime, anywhere, regardless of external stimuli or not.
Exactly. 100% right with you there. I don't experience it as collecting just under my skin, though. It billows outward from the core, starting near
the center of the skull and sort of flushing downwards to the diaphragm in a few milliseconds, and about a quarter-second later it zips up my arms and
(into? out of?) the hands. But sometimes, it starts near the diaphragm and zips upwards
instead, like it reversed polarity. If I try to hold it
"on" longer than it wants to be on, it fills my entire body and I start feeling like a struck lightning rod, twitching and pulsing everywhere.
Sometimes there's a sound, too, like the rumble of an approaching tornado but rather quiet. It is vibrational, but the frequency is so high I can't
even estimate it. You know how if you keep a muscle fully-tensed-up for a long time, it starts sort of quivering as it gets weaker until it just
fails? It's that kind of vibration. The whole thing feels like clenching inner muscles that don't actually exist, and they squeeze something through
me that isn't physical.
I am convinced, have been since childhood, that there is a reason for this, that it has a function. I have not experimented much, but have
never found it to be useful for anything.
Y'know, I can't even remember when I first felt it; it might have been childhood. I've always been weird. I have experimented much... and have,
like you, found no use for it. It's just A Thing That Is. But it can't
be useless, I refuse to believe it. There's some reason for it. Power
surges are used to power things. In fact...
In fact, there is
one effect I'm just noticing, probably because I've been playing with it so much while typing this: I feel a lot more
energetic than usual right now, and it's that same kind of "spiritual energy" feeling. Like I just drank eleven pots of coffee, let's say. It's
constant, continuous, and I'm not having to do
anything to maintain it. It might
be like... like drinking a health potion in a video
game. Or mana, maybe. A way to self-refresh and -rejuvenate? A built-in soul-energy recharger? Could that be it?
... maybe, because we're so fascinated with this weird Thing inside us, we're sort of driven to use it, which exercises
We're making it strong now so we can better use it later, once its purpose finally becomes clear. Divine kegels? Could that
Please start experimenting. Trigger it and hold it and see how long it lasts, do that for like fifteen minutes, and then just relax and see if you
feel the coffee. Kinda getting a tiny headache too, though... also like too much caffeine...
How is your health, by the way? I have a suspicion that this Whatever just might be preserving my health despite my best efforts to destroy it.
(Those emoticons are just way
too huge.) Smoker, a bit overweight, almost 50, rare fast food though. My blood pressure is perfect, my
cholesterol isn't too high, I'm not going bald, no signs of diabetes or cancer or any of that. Just imagine if everyone had this ability... I wonder
if it could be taught... but of course, if we started teaching people how to heal themselves from within, it wouldn't be more than a month before
they'd Vince Foster us. What a great time to be alive.