Online Dating...

I decided to try out online dating because I haven't had a good record with relationships and I figured it would be easier to get a date online. Because of my bad record with relationships my confidence and ability to walk up to girls and sweep them away has pretty much disappeared. Once I get to a date I'm confident I will do fine, but getting to that point is a challenge... especially now and for at least another year because I will barely have any chances to get out and meet new girls. I'm in an environment with mostly guys and little chances to get out.

But how wrong I was about online dating! It seems every girl on these sites (okcupid, match.com) think they know exactly the guy they want and will only settle for a date with their perfect guy.

So far this online dating experience has been counter-productive, it's lowered my confidence with girls. If I can't get a date online, how can I get one in real life? I've sent a bunch of messages to girls (and I thought they were pretty charming messages) but got none back. In my profiles I am honest about myself and don't include superficial things that may make someone like me more but not for who I am.

Am I approaching this the wrong way? Should I filter out anything that girls might not want to see, and include all the superficial things that will make me look like the perfect guy? How do I message a girl to spark her interest? What do girls want to see on an online profile? Is it more important to be funny, or to say you have lots of money? Is it more important to say you are happy with where you are in life, or to say you are so ambitious you can never be satisfied?

Online dating sites are a minefiield for men it is a statistical fact that ladies get lots of replies, and guys get relatively few, it is an attention whore's paradise. In all honesty your best tactic is message all the most attractive ones, and playfully tease them by saying something like "wow I just saw your list of qualities that a man needs to have to date you, and I have to say you are not attractive enough to be so picky lol", or some other playful negs. It will at least make an intruiging change from all the kiss butt boys begging her for a date.

Don't forget you need a translation program.

No baggage = I don't have time for my kids.

Slightly overweight but working on it = I lost a bit, still big, will stop working on it when I find a guy / any guy.

Casual dresser = will turn up to the first date barefoot.

Want respectable man = $$$$$$$$$ lots $$$$$$$$

Speak ingwish pweety goood = illegal alien


The very few good ones get snapped up damn quickly. To get a date most reasonable nice ladies just need to sit at Bar or a nice piano lounge, sip a drink and look bored. Smile at the nice guys!

P

reply to post by Wang Tang


You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Originally posted by pheonix358
Don't forget you need a translation program.

No baggage = I don't have time for my kids.

Slightly overweight but working on it = I lost a bit, still big, will stop working on it when I find a guy / any guy.

Casual dresser = will turn up to the first date barefoot.

Want respectable man = $$$$$$$$$ lots $$$$$$$$

Speak ingwish pweety goood = illegal alien


The very few good ones get snapped up damn quickly. To get a date most reasonable nice ladies just need to sit at Bar or a nice piano lounge, sip a drink and look bored. Smile at the nice guys!

P

Dont forget

Curvy = fat

Voluptuous= overweight

Bubbly= grossly overweight

Awesome=morbidly obese

Originally posted by Hopechest
reply to post by Wang Tang

 

You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Hopechest your my kinda gal.

Originally posted by hotel1

Originally posted by Hopechest
reply to post by Wang Tang

 

You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Hopechest your my kinda gal.

Not sure I'm gonna go for a guy with Hotel in his name.

Thanks though

Originally posted by Hopechest

Originally posted by hotel1

Originally posted by Hopechest
reply to post by Wang Tang

 

You are building a lie upon a lie.

I don't care what the feminist say, we want a man that will protect us and be stong. We need confidence.

I need to know that i'm safe at night with you. I don't care about the games your playing in an online questionaire.

Stand up for me, even a little thing will separate you from the rest of the pack.

Open a fricken car door for me, make me feel special.

That's all you need.

Hopechest your my kinda gal.

Not sure I'm gonna go for a guy with Hotel in his name.

Thanks though

Damn you got me, but thought it was more classy than motel

I'm a 21 year old girl who signed up to a dating site about 7 months ago.

No real need for me to sign up, I have like 20 guys chasing me in real life, but none of them are what I want....So I thought maybe I could select what I want online, sorta like shopping aha...

Over the last 7 months (haven't checked this month) my inbox must have been flooded with messages from about 350 men...I deleted the ones who were a NONO and that left me with about 200 suitable dates.

In the end I gave up, I was spoilt for choice, and went back to meeting people the regular way.

I'm still not satisfied, might log in and have another browse.

Might help if I knew what I wanted! aha.

I did make an effort to reply to those who I thought needed an emotional boost, a couple of guys said I was the only person to ever reply to them....They were FUGLY but I like being nice, and told them "Ohh you are a very nice person, unfortunately I'm already dating some one from here, but keep looking, there's someone out there for you!"

Men, if most the women are anything like me, we receive far to many messages to reply to all, and they're probably just browsing for browsings sake....So don't hold your hopes up to high!

Originally posted by ObservingYou
I'm a 21 year old girl who signed up to a dating site about 7 months ago.

No real need for me to sign up, I have like 20 guys chasing me in real life, but none of them are what I want....So I thought maybe I could select what I want online, sorta like shopping aha...

Over the last 7 months (haven't checked this month) my inbox must have been flooded with messages from about 350 men...I deleted the ones who were a NONO and that left me with about 200 suitable dates.

In the end I gave up, I was spoilt for choice, and went back to meeting people the regular way.

I'm still not satisfied, might log in and have another browse.

Might help if I knew what I wanted! aha.

I did make an effort to reply to those who I thought needed an emotional boost, a couple of guys said I was the only person to ever reply to them....They were FUGLY but I like being nice, and told them "Ohh you are a very nice person, unfortunately I'm already dating some one from here, but keep looking, there's someone out there for you!"

Men, if most the women are anything like me, we receive far to many messages to reply to all, and they're probably just browsing for browsings sake....So don't hold your hopes up to high!

There it is OP from the horses mouth so to speak, this lady's post confirms what I said in my original reply to you. Online dating for guys is p ssing in the wind.

thankyou kindly for your contribution Ma'am.

reply to post by hotel1








" Bubbley" the most over used adjective in the English language

covers a multitude of sins... but so much 'kinder' than "Blubbery"

Seriously,

get your game on boys....it isn't hard.

You can spend a month researching alien abuductions but can't spend 20 minutes looking up how to treat a lady.

My God your pathetic.



Love ya though!

Some funny replies by the ladies here

I did a little bit of online dating when I lived in London, with a large pool of talent. I had a pretty good strike rate. You find most women are in the same position and probably haven't had sex for a while, so after a few bottles of pino Grigio the night usually ended with some action.

Now I'm back to the small market town I was born and the profiles on the dating sites, look more like police mugshots. I've given up on it now. It was fun for a while.

When you get to my age the best girls have been taken. Just holding out for the divorcees now.

Originally posted by Hopechest
Seriously,

get your game on boys....it isn't hard.

You can spend a month researching alien abuductions but can't spend 20 minutes looking up how to treat a lady.

My God your pathetic.

Love ya though!

Im happily settled so I dont need my game on anymore, occasionally miss it though.

back at ya hun

reply to post by Wang Tang


It just doesn't work. Honestly your chances are better in person. In life, but ESPECIALLY online, girls are blessed with the power of attention. The girls that you see online fit one of a few stereotypes:

1: They have kids and are looking for child support
2: They are fake. You know, the beautiful ones that spam you for "friend requests". Looking for money or don't exist.
3: They are desperate, usually sickly gross or are insane.
4: They are taken but enjoy attention that their unhealthy relationship can't give them.

You find an actual woman on there, one that just wants to be swept away by a normal guy who isn't a rich or super beautiful face and I swear to you you are the luckiest man alive. This society promotes a ridiculous amount of power to woman, relationship-ly speaking. The burden of amazement and trying in general is placed on the male. Way I see it, I have a better chance of making a girl laugh and like me in person than online where there are probably 15 better looking profile pictures talking to her at any given moment.

It sucks man, it really does. Woman don't know what they want and they aren't afraid to use you if it means not hurting them. Self-confidence? It's tough to overcome but talking to a woman and failing with her ends up the same as not talking to her anyway right? What do you have to lose but a moment of your time...

So many misconceptions flying around here - Inbox me and I'll link you to my real online dating account

I just logged in and saw all my 200 messages have disappeared

Man, I was hording those like nuts! aha

Go pick one up from Russia or China?

reply to post by Hopechest


If I open the car door as I have a want to do because I am polite, I run the risk of getting "What? Don't you think I can open the ***** door by myself!"

If I seem to want to protect I am overly aggressive / paranoid / possessive.

If I want to see her to the door or even wait until she gets inside I am scary and or paranoid.

Seriously, a portion of ladies online want a toy boy preferably with money so he can be shown off.

A big portion want a man, any man, not fussy! They look like trucks, are as noisy as trucks and are as big as trucks.

The words love and commitment are like holy water and wooden stakes are to vampires.

Thinking of moving to New Zealand, I hear the sheep are nice!

I went out on a date, nice lady, she spent the whole night talking about her ex, could not politely get her off the topic. At the end she tells me I pry too much and I shouldn't have wanted to know about her ex. Me!!!!

God but dating is a minefield.

P

reply to post by pheonix358


I laugh at this post, almost out of grief because it its totally true. I actually made a thread about this not too long ago that kinda hits that point.

Here

I think you'd probably agree with what I am saying hahaha

AND don't get me started on the utterly blank looks of non-comprehension and WTF you get when you have to say you don't have face-book, twitter or some other ungodly must have!

What phone do you have? What sort of an idiotic question is that to ask the guy you're on a date with. Obviously a Nokia N91 was not the right answer!

Hopechest, you are priceless! You give us advice while at the same time complaining about some ones name!!! It's all in good fun but you are way off the mark.

Oh, I don't wear a watch, that is bad! Why I don't know, but bad it is!

P