reply to post by arpgme
The way I understand and experience love may be different than the average person. I believe a spousal relationship is made of many different
elements, not simply love. Saying you love someone, but desire to have sex outside the relationship, is not a truly committed relationship with faith.
A relationship where both people are truly in love with each other leaves no room for straying, sexually, outside of the union. This is because there
are many different elements required to sustain a long term relationship with someone you are in love with, not simply a 'plutonic', or a 'puppy'
Trust in one of the most important foundations a lasting relationship needs. It takes a lot of trust to bare your soul to someone and to have sex
with them as well. Working to be sure your partner is always happy - at least by the actions you control - is a responsibility each half of the team
must take on.
Respect and consideration of your partner's emotions are not the only aspects one spouse must focus on, they also need to respect and consider their
own outlook and emotions.
It is probably the case where the person who is requesting an affair has never reached the same level of commitment or love the other half has. It
could be a sign that the straying partner may be a manipulative user.
Saying things like, 'I love her and love seeing her happy, even if it means sex with someone else', could be a signal that the person allowing the
affair is co-dependent and they do not qualify their own emotions against the desire of their partner.
Another point could be made that the person seeking the affair is a controller who never considers the emotions of their partner, only their own
desires, regardless of anything else.
This entire scenario sounds like the product of a relationship where one party is co-dependent and the other is a controller/manipulator.
Personally, it's a first-time and last-time type of deal for me;
my GF/fiance/wife mentions the desire to have an affair will be
we will talk ( . )