Originally posted by KyrieEleison
I've been mulling over whether or not to share this, so # it I'll just take the plunge. Mods: If this is inappropriate or in the incorrect forum I
understand it being moved or re-moved (har).
Moonlight yields to rising dawn,
Looking out across the lawn,
Randomly you view a pane,
Just as soon, you choose again...
Unknown traits in this or that,
Holds your gaze where it's at,
Yet my pane awaits, so seldom viewed...
Is my surface warped?
Or is it skewed?
I'm yearning just to please your eyes,
To show you clouds up in the skies,
Reflect your smile upon my face,
I long to be your favorite place...
And I will always hope and pray,
There never comes a time or day,
I somehow misdirect a ray,
And falling shards get swept away.
Ummm......If I may...
Moonlight, yields to rising dawn
Gazing, there, across the lawn
Random, as you view a pane
Glancing out, you choose again
Unknown traits, in this, in that
Holds your gaze, holds where it's at
My pane awaits, so seldom viewed
Is my surface warped, or skewed
Yearning, just to please your eyes
To show you clouds, unveil the skies
Reflect your smile upon my face
I long to be, your favorite place
Always hope and always pray
That time will never come, this day
As tears refract, lights able shine
And fall as shards of the devine
I made a few adjustments, not to detract from anything you had created but rather to fulfill the vision that your wonderful words instilled...I want
to also thank you for this scene that you wove...Please take no offence as none was meant........All of the changes that I made were there already
within the context of your poem. I only wished to share what that vision that you created, caused in me...to bring that hidden essence forth...I also
gift to you these slight changes and claim nothing besides the moment and the reciprocity of that initial sharing...