How do you put down the torch?

So there is this woman, I am way into her, she knows this, her family and friends know this. The only person who seems not to know is her boyfriend, who I am cool with, actually the Guy genuinely likes me. She always teases me about him having a huge 'bromance' for me. Rewind a couple years and he wasn't in the picture he was off in Afghanistan, and at the time even though I liked this girl I wasn't certain of how strong my feelings for her were nor did I feel like I knew her well enough at the time to tell her.

So I tell her, she confides some things to me, and pretty much once the dust settles nothing changes except we may talk more often. I find myself hoping that when I see her she'll look worse. Or maybe she'll say something that will mess it up, or she'll break my confidence. Not that I really want that to happen but I need a reason to stop liking her, stop wanting her, stop needing to communicate with her. In a way she's good for me, helps me look at the bright side and take things lightly, and she's a very genuine fun happy person that balances me out. Truth is she's not going to change or really dissapoint me. Problem is I'm putting off chances at a real relationship waiting for her because in essence I'm holding this torch and it doesn't feel right to start a relationship with someone else knowing she has my heart. So how do I put down this torch?

Just remember this:

She doesn't make you eat or breathe. She's not important to your life at all.

reply to post by ISHAMAGI
The way to get an unavailable woman off your mind? That's easy! Go find yourself a wild woman- you know, a girl who just wants to have fun and get crazy. I would call her a "gateway" girl. Just someone with no strings attached that you can have a good time with until you are ready to move on to something more substantial. Baby steps my friend, baby steps.

Well from a woman's perspective I can tell you that its better if you lay your cards on the table whether you have a chance or not.

Obviously the relationship is not normal since you have feelings for her so your being a dishonest friend by pretending to be something your not.

I would be offended at this if you reveal your feelings at a later date. I'd actually have a ton of respect for you if you told me how you felt, even though I'm in a relationship, then quietly backed away.

It would make me think and re-evaluate because its not often you find men who are willing to put it out there like that.

Certainly do not do anything to talk bad about her current relationship or put her guy down because it makes you look like a punk.

Tell her how you feel and simply say your only a phone call away. May cost you your friendship with her but if your honest with yourself, can you really say you have a legitimate friendship the way it is now?

At least you can go on with your life knowing you took your shot and have no regrets and hold your head up high.

Best of luck to you!

Problem is I'm putting off chances at a real relationship waiting for her because in essence I'm holding this torch and it doesn't feel right to start a relationship with someone else knowing she has my heart. So how do I put down this torch?

Don't look for Ms. Right...look for Ms. Right Now, and you should be ok. You need to move on, it isn't fair to her, to her boyfriend, or to YOU...