Something I Don't Understand About Some Homosexuals

I think there are many ways people's behaviors and preferences can be explained. I'm not certain it's right to make sweeping generalizations to do so, and that's where the problems come in -- we're all composed of psychological (and yes, spiritual!) elements that make up who we are. So, perhaps we can think of us as quantum entities, and probabilities.

Take, for examples, Jung's conception of anima/animus, the achetypes of sexuality. That's a gestalt of sorts, or a 'probability cloud' of maleness and femaleness.

I think that a person's desire to project themselves outwardly to reflect their inner expression as being separated, but related to their sexual preference. If this is even partially true, then it's not a great leap of faith to see how a person with more of a mental/psychological probability toward femaleness could exist while simultaneously physically posessing male plumbing. That same person could be attracted to either their own gender or the opposite gender.

People are comprised of many genetic and psychological variables, influenced by experience, nurtured (or not) by life and lightly seasoned by their interests, dreams and desires. Nature didn't seem to appoint a probability of "normal", because nature combines all variables. People and their dogma assign 'normal' and then spend the rest of their days trying to conform to their own ideals. I think nature got it right. What you are, nature and nurture produced. Be what you are, and don't fall into the snare of believing that groupthink equals superiority.

I just don't know why some...if not all have to be soooooo fruity...

Your entire post stinks of hatred. You are masking yourself by saying "I don't hate this or that...but".

Gender identity issues do exist. It happens in those from as early as five up until death. Why do you need to understand this so much? Like you said, it doesn't affect you.

Or does it? The closet is getting full.

Originally posted by LazarusTsiyr
You are misunderstanding. I'm not saying it's "wrong." And I'm not talking about heterosexual cross dressers. I'm talking about gay men and women who dress like the opposite sex. I just don't understand why they do it if they are attracted to the same sex. Why look like the opposite sex if you are attracted to the same sex.

It's not hate speech at all. You're being absurd now. I'm genuinely curious because homosexuals are attracted to the same sex, so why dress like the opposite sex.

If you are trying to make this into a "bigoted" thing then I'm just gonna ignore you and wait for those to respond who understand my point and who aren't gonna try and take cheap shots like labeling me an anti-homosexual bigot.

My goodness. Try to understand something genuinely and you always have to get at least one asshole who tries to ruin it and claim some sort of bigotry. Absurd. This is what's wrong with the world today. Can't inquire about something that you don't understand to try and get a better understanding without being accused of something.

Hell just the fact that I'm trying to understand and willing to understand shows that I'm not a bigot. A bigot wouldn't give a #. A bigot would just label them "faggots" or "dykes" or any other ignorant term and keep moving.

edit on 27-2-2013 by LazarusTsiyr because: (no reason given)

WELL SAID! Just ignore them - simple and understandable question that I'm sure many other people would like to ask. Asking on this site is taking a risk though as you well recognise.

When I'm rowing with my husband I always say - # I don't understand this - cats don't marry dogs. Cats stay with cats and dogs stay with dogs - and it's the same with the whole animal kingdom. Women get on with other women and men get on with other men so why the hell do we get together in the first place lol. God knows why we do what we do - guess that's what makes us human.

reply to post by LazarusTsiyr


WOW LazarusTsiyr...wow. I often don't agree with your views, to the point of scowling pretty hard when I read them. You've done a great job here though of setting an example of how to ask something, and be civil and consistent in your discussion.

I'm surprised how many stars I had to give you reading through this thread, even though I shouldn't be...people get stupid when it comes to polarizing issues...as we've recently seen in other gender-identity threads.

Now; I think a partial answer to your question is just that different people are attracted to different things - In the same way that some men are attracted to women with huge chests, and others aren't - Some gays and lesbians are attracted to a mix or slant of feminine and masculine energy, while others prefer a more rigid, traditional essence.

I'm sure a lot of it is biology, and a lot of it has to do with early experience - The same explanation for why some people like what I would consider weird things like dirty socks. I'm not saying that a preference toward masculine or feminine would be categorized as a fetish, just that it's usually not a pointed, analytical "I am going to sit down and figure out what I'm attracted to, why I'll be attracted to it, and so on" type of thing, people just like what they like.

Thank you very much for being such a decent role-model of how to jump into delicate subjects and explore curiosity in such a nice, respectful way.

reply to post by quedup


Honestly, I feel more comfortable posing my question here than almost anywhere else.

Originally posted by maus80
I often don't agree with your views, to the point of scowling pretty hard when I read them. You've done a great job here though of setting an example of how to ask something, and be civil and consistent in your discussion.

Well, thanks!

Now; I think a partial answer to your question is just that different people are attracted to different things - In the same way that some men are attracted to women with huge chests, and others aren't - Some gays and lesbians are attracted to a mix or slant of feminine and masculine energy, while others prefer a more rigid, traditional essence.

That's a pretty good answer. Thanks. Makes sense, I suppose.

I guess for me the confusion is/was, for example with a gay man, you're a man who is attracted to a man, so why are you with a man who could easily be confused for a woman?

I guess instances like that make me question just how gay said person is. Like I'm a heterosexual male so I wouldn't be attracted to a woman who looked like a man.

I think, though, my looking at it that way may be out of ignorance regarding the way homosexuals feel about things. I don't know very many, to be honest. But even though I was ignorant of it that doesn't mean I am hateful towards it. Although some people really tried to paint it that way, which is sad. It reflects on where our society is when an honest question makes people come out the woodwork and try to label someone a bigot. Honestly it's "political correctness" gone way too far. What kind of society will we be if we can't ask honest, hard questions without the fear of being labeled a bigot?

Thank you very much for being such a decent role-model of how to jump into delicate subjects and explore curiosity in such a nice, respectful way.

And thank you for understanding and giving me an honest chance, despite the fact that you have disagreed with me in the past. Thank you for not judging a book by its cover, or rather judging a book by the first few chapters

...and, a lot of the people who have responded to this thread - You should maybe take a good hard look at how you spoke to the original poster, and how decent he's been.

Maybe some of you need more friends like him; It's great to have friends with differing thoughts and opinions - if you only want to deal with people who are just like you and share all your opinions...good luck ever growing as a person.

reply to post by maus80


Indeed. I think a lot of it was knee-jerk reaction. I mean I plainly spelled out my viewpoints and my reasoning for asking this question in my OP. I even said that while for Biblical reasons I don't agree with homosexuality, I am not judging anyone. Their sexuality is between them and the Most High. To each their own.

My question was posed out of a genuine curiosity and a desire to understand something that has puzzled me for years.

Originally posted by LazarusTsiyr
But even though I was ignorant of it that doesn't mean I am hateful towards it. Although some people really tried to paint it that way, which is sad. It reflects on where our society is when an honest question makes people come out the woodwork and try to label someone a bigot. Honestly it's "political correctness" gone way too far. What kind of society will we be if we can't ask honest, hard questions without the fear of being labeled a bigot?

Exactly - this drives me nuts too, what exactly do people want anyway, fake liars who tell everyone what they want to hear, or are afraid to ever express their thoughts, feelings or questions? That's nonsense!

"What other people think about me is none of my business" - RuPaul
Sometimes peoples opinions really are stupid or hateful, but often they're not, just differing. I'd a million times rather know how people really think and feel than feel like everyone is being fake or our thoughts are being policed. I'd rather know people do or don't say what they feel because they do or don't want to, not because the crazy PC-Police will show up to shut them down.

Drag queens fight this fight, believe it or not - the majority of them say exactly what they think, and vehemently despise the pc-police. They can be asked the questions in the OP a million times and still respond openly, happily, and informatively. As they say, "The library is OPEN." :p

reply to post by LazarusTsiyr


Hey there.
This is a very honest question and I appreciate you asking.
I guess I am a homosexual and while it is something that I really struggle with, I felt like I needed to answer this question. Bear with me, but here we go.
I am a female and I've always been a tom boy. I grew up in a normal home, but just always was into sports, nature, being active, using tools, etc. Spent a lot of my childhood at my brother's sporting events, holding my own with all the little brothers, and eventually my time was consumed with my own sporting events. I guess I would be considered androgynous. I don't try to dress like a guy, but I just happen to be most comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt. I always had long hair, but I cut it all really short when I went to college. Honestly, that felt amazing and I like it better that way, but I miss my long hair. Also, I miss my parents not telling me how much they dislike my hair short, but that's how it goes. Anyway. I can't speak for everyone, but I really just feel more comfortable in more casual clothes. More girly clothes are fine and all, but they make me physically uncomfortable a lot of the time. I'd rather run around in cut off shorts and a t shirt, not having a care in the world, than constantly pulling at my shirt and just feeling physically uneasy. Oh and I love to do my makeup and make sure my hair is just right and everything, but I've gotten to the point where I am fine going without. I don't ever want to be a dude, but I am a little jealous of their ability to gain muscle so easily. I'm very small (5'1"), so I push myself to make up for my size in speed, strength, and knowledge. I guess I don't exactly know what I'm trying to say here, but I don't at all try to be like a guy. I just act in ways that are most comfortable for me and that's that. I have, however, wished I was more girly, for various reasons, but I just don't care that much.
OH YES. I feel like a lot of gay and lesbian people dress like the opposite gender, because that's how they feel comfortable. It doesn't mean they are uncomfortable with their genitalia, I just think they're expressing themselves. I do think, however, that some people just try to be seriously flamboyant and in your face, which really bothers me.
But as for the other side of things. I think some people just prefer one type of genitalia, but like the feminine or masculine aspect that can accompany it.
I can tell you that it's WAY more complicated than that and that there are so many little differences with LGBTQ folks, but that is what little insight I can offer you. Hope it helps, at least a little.

reply to post by ShortExplorer


Well thank you for your straightforward answer, Short!

Originally posted by windword
reply to post by LazarusTsiyr

 

I think that it's rather obvious that cross dressers, whether gay or not, do so to express their suppressed inner male or female. They are expressing the part of themselves, that they feel has been oppressed, that they have a need to "free".

And, by the way, this is not a new trend!

Just think I should point out here that high heels were originally designed for riding horseback and was adopted later by women as a fashion trend to dress more manly (ie: wearing slacks, high heels, etc . . .)

Why did men stop wearing high heels?
www.bbc.co.uk...

Good horsemanship was essential to the fighting styles of Persia - the historical name for modern-day Iran.

"When the soldier stood up in his stirrups, the heel helped him to secure his stance so that he could shoot his bow and arrow more effectively," says Semmelhack.

At the end of the 16th Century, Persia's Shah Abbas I had the largest cavalry in the world. He was keen to forge links with rulers in Western Europe to help him defeat his great enemy, the Ottoman Empire.

As to the OP, they cross dress for attention. They are likely the highly flamboyant type who craves attention and whose life in love and in general is filled with drama. Most of the gays I know are an even split between the two and the reserved ones seem to despise the drama queens more vehemently than most.

But then again in this day and age you can walk around a college campus and most likely not be able to tell who is gay and who isn't what with all the frat-boys/hipsters/ and skaters in skinny jeans and flamboyant bug-eye glasses, and absolutely faaabulooouuussss color schemes to their wardrobe.

Conclusion: attention

reply to post by quedup


With the cat and dog thing, I hope you weren't equating two women to a cat and a dog pairing..
Two women are still the same species..
Sorry, I just had to point that out.

reply to post by LazarusTsiyr


My guess would be, be they do it for the same reasons heterosexuals do. do I don't think it matter if the love the same sex or not. Just as a heterosexual female dressing as a tomboy. I do not see a difference!

reply to post by LazarusTsiyr

My question is this, why? If you are a homosexual man then you are attracted to men. Your partner, boyfriend, whatever, is obviously attracted to men also. So why are you dressing up like a woman? Why are you putting on make-up and dresses?

I don't know, all I know is that I think I was supposed to be a dog, as a child growing up I always thought that I was different and did not feel comfortable in my own skin. Then one day it clicked in me, im a dog. So ever since then I started dressing like a dog and acting like a dog- its not a choice its the way I was made. If you don't accept me for being a Transorder person then you are a bigot. FYIAD

Never seen "It's always sunny"?

They explain the whole bear, twink, top, bottom thing perfectly.

This is a really good question, dude. I know a lot of gay people and I still don't know the answer - none of them do cross-dressing. One of my gay friends dressed up like Sarah Palin for Halloween, it was a one-time thing, and that one makes sense - it was hilarious.

Originally posted by Ghost375
Never seen "It's always sunny"?

They explain the whole bear, twink, top, bottom thing perfectly.

Im a power bottom, im on the bottom but im generating all the power.

Originally posted by LazarusTsiyr

Originally posted by HumansEh


I couldn't understand why if M. was attracted to girls why she could fancy someone who looked and acted like a man

Yes, that's my question exactly. If you are a lesbian, you are attracted to women. So why are you in a relationship with a woman who looks/dresses/acts like a man?

A friend of mine once told me it was the social construct. They were drawn to the feminine but wanted the "male appendage" attached to it for sexual purposes... it made sense at the time they were explaining it.