You are not in hell, it just feels like it, trust me i know.Been there, back here again.
It's all inside you, you know why you are depressed, you just have to admit it and start fixing it.
Relax and start working with your self, you propably have tons of questions but no answears, you can't get back if you do not find the answears or
just some solutions to your worries.
Try to take one step at the time to not confuse your self, cause to many things will just make it worse.
I used writing when i lost control, it's an awesome tool, but can take a long time, especially if you are not used to write.
But try writing down your thoughts, cause most of the time, your answears are right there in front of you, and if you got them on paper, they are much
easier to find.Remember to read what you write, sometimes again and again.
You can get a lot of help, but only you can fix it, no one else can, they will only advice you, or worse confuse you even more.
The same if you choose doctors and medicin, it's only a help, not a solution.
If you are deeply depressed it might take a long time, don't expect it to be gone in a week or go away by it self.
It took me 6 years to get back on track, but if i had the knowledge back then that i have now, i would have been better much faster.
Relax and don't strees your self, and you will be fine.