Just in..... US to Ban WATER.... Read On..

Water Ban to Take Effect

Washington DC, I.M.Whett Reporting., Today the Obama administration acting on the recommendations of the Department of Homeland Security's report dated January 16 2013, has decided that effective immediately, the deadly substance known as "water" (scientific name: H2O) is hereby banned from ownership or usage in the United States of America. Citing what he claims are "nefarious uses of the clear and tasteless substance" Obama signed this latest executive order into action at approximately 9AM this morning.

The Executive Order lists the four main reasons for President Obama signing this groundbreaking edict:

1)100% of all Serial Killers, Rapists and Drug Dealers, use Water.
2)Water is a constant part of Herbicides and Pesticides that could be used for bomb making.
3)Water is the leading cause of Drowning Deaths in the United States
4)100% of everyone who uses Water, will die.

From this point forward, all former water taps in America will pump out Capri Sun. it is hoped that this drastic step will curb death and spurn any would be terrorists.

Updated.. 26 Feb 2013

Sounds a bit like you've been taking the movie Idiocracy a bit too much to heart.
I didn't know Capri Sun was made by Brawndo Corporation.

ganjoa

reply to post by vkey08


Even worse in high doses it leads to intoxication and a quick death
en.wikipedia.org...

reply to post by ganjoa


It's got what plants crave.

Mmmm...Electrolytes!

Ha ha That is funny what are they now going to pump threw the lines Red bull lol

Originally posted by davespanners
reply to post by vkey08

 

Even worse in high doses it leads to intoxication and a quick death

en.wikipedia.org...

This is even worse than GMO's!

reply to post by vkey08

Instead of H&C for hot and cold
Can I have S &C for scotch and coke ?


Water is soooooooooooooo last season

Originally posted by davespanners
reply to post by vkey08

 

Even worse in high doses it leads to intoxication and a quick death

en.wikipedia.org...

Yes I think Obama was talking about that as he sipped his 5 Hour Energy while he was signing it........

He cant do that! the streets will be crowded with all sorts of water junkies desperately seeking a fix!

Text Red Vodka has the same color as H20 if they want total control they can pump that and have a nation of mindless drunks stumbling around

Originally posted by stirling
He cant do that! the streets will be crowded with all sorts of water junkies desperately seeking a fix!

I'm wondering when the DEA will make it a Schedule 1 Controlled Substance....

Capri sun is water with taste

Something something something 2'nd line

Down with dihydrogen monoxide.

Other listed issues with DHMO(also known as hydroxyl acid) is as follows:


Major component of acid rain.
Contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
May cause severe burns.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage.
Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination.
The possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance.
contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
Accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
May cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
Has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean

It can be found being used in/for:

Nuclear power plants.
The production of styrofoam.
An industrial solvent and coolant.
As a fire retardant.
In many forms of cruel animal research.
In the distribution of pesticides. Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
As an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

So... umm... OP.. Does this mean I'm guilty of manufacturing a controlled substance if I use a purification system in the local creek or river?

Goodness....am I guilty of felony possession if I'm found with a water bottle I forgot all about, before the new law?

I better carefully consider things like swimming, huh? After all, we can't bathe in a controlled substance! We could swallow some and become felons on the spot! (gasp)

reply to post by Wrabbit2000


beware the potential for an ATF raid on your water lab.

Originally posted by Wrabbit2000
So... umm... OP.. Does this mean I'm guilty of manufacturing a controlled substance if I use a purification system in the local creek or river?

Goodness....am I guilty of felony possession if I'm found with a water bottle I forgot all about, before the new law?

I better carefully consider things like swimming, huh? After all, we can't bathe in a controlled substance! We could swallow some and become felons on the spot! (gasp)

I wonder if there's a grace period to convert old water systems to a newer approved system... There was nothing mentioned on the news about it...