Separate Bedrooms?

reply to post by BadbrotherRyan


I wish your ex some fancy new syphilis. The reason my "mom" stayed around was so she could continue not working and continue driving a nice car.

reply to post by MojaveBurning


I've always thought this would be a great idea, although I wouldn't want to sleep apart every night. My husband and I both have trouble sleeping, sometimes snore awfully, and move around a lot in our sleep. Quite often, one of us can't fall asleep or keeps being woken up by the other and ends up moving to the couch. Then, there's our completely opposite hours some weeks and one of us will just go to the couch so the other doesn't wake up when we come to bed.
We get along much better if one of us sleeps on the couch instead of waking each other up but of course, the couch is awful to sleep on more than occasionally.

You know what they say about keeping your enemies closer? Besides, who would I throw at the middle of the night zombie to make my getaway if I had a separate bedroom?!

Seriously though, Id never really thought about that. Been together either living together or married.. combined.. over 20 years. We just clicked, have no bedroom issues as far as messiness or decor or temp, only a small snoring issue that just started ( a kick to his ass and me pretending Im asleep when he suddenly awakens seems to work most of the time) and I cant imagine sleeping in another room. I mean Im so used to it! LOL! Besides, we have a historic home with creaky century old wood floors. By time I made it into the other bedroom for that just woke up in the middle of the night and want sex situations, the whole house would be awake due the dogs barking with the floor creaking like Im walking on bubble wrap. No to mention we keep the house cold and Im NOT giving up ANY of the dogs to share on those 3 dog nights.

But now Im thinking about it. Maybe I want my own room... we have been together so long its sort of like a sibling ( who you have sex with.. gack.. why do I think these things... ) you sometimes just want to strangle..... sometimes. Ill ask him tomorrow what he thinks about me kicking him out of the king bed and him taking the spare room twin bed from now on, OP. If he freaks Ill tell him it was just another ATS experiment and report back here with his reaction.

reply to post by Superhans


Even in jest that comment is far from humorous. In fact it is soo far from humorous it will take the light from the sun 10 billion years to reach it.

The OP hasn't posted in a while....is it safe to assume she asked her husband, and he killed her?

I'm only half joking.

reply to post by MojaveBurning


It depends... would I get the master bedroom/bath/closet?

Seriously, though. I would feel so empty in a separate room from my husband and would feel hurt if he was the one who brought up the idea.

Even when he goes out of town I have to stack his side of the bed with pillows and my son's adult-sized giant teddy bear to pretend my husband is there.

I'm a person who desperately needs my own space every now and then but never at the lengths of not sharing a room with Hubby.

I could never do the separate bedroom thing, I'm a big cuddler. Right now bf and I don't live together but when we see each other we are cuddled up the whole night. Go to sleep cuddling, wake up cuddling. He does snore so I keep earplugs handy and will usually just have him roll over. One of my ex's that I lived with was a non cuddler and it drove me insane! We slept in the same bed but he even used his own blanket! I would even try to sneak a cuddle after he passed out and he would push me away... Other than that we had a great relationship and ended on good terms.

I think the separate bedroom thing is something you and your hubby need to talk about. You can always give it a try. There are plenty of couples who do this.

Personally when me and bf get our own place and have the room, I would love for us to each have our own little hobby rooms.

I too find it weird these days for married couples to sleep in separate rooms. but, it could help improve the relationship by making you feel like before getting married or like in high school -sneaking into the other's rooms, saying good night with a kiss, and so on.

if the relationship is good, i don't see the need for this step. BUT it is you and your husband, and the 2 of you need to proceed in a way that is convenient for both.

im not sure you talked to him about it, but you could pretend you cant sleep, or stay up later and then use the other room as not to disturb him and see how it goes for a night. if you like it, extend this for that period of the month, as i noticed how girls have different needs then, and so on. if you dont like it, you can always go back, right?

as for your kid..... im not sure how will this affect her. it depends on her age, i guess.

I understand the feeling, I lived alone for over 10 years I got kinda used to that...not saying I didn't have sleep overs. But craving a space you can call your own can get to be a strong urge.

My current girlfriend and I have been living together nearly two years, she has nightmares of intruders etc. if I am not in the same room...I am a night owl, so I find myself sitting in bed managing a forum while she cuts trees, so she feels safe. Then she wakes up goes to work, then I work on projects for business etc then I go to sleep around noonish, whole bed to myself.

Space and time for yourself has to be made...especially with children in the mix; or that cabin fever will grow and grow. If your husband is truly your partner and not insecure...he will understand he has perhaps sports or something all to himself all men do unless you married a shadow. So make yours too...

Don't ask permission you're an adult, appeal to him with a rational explanation if he wants to know why...allay any fears or trust issues he may have as reinforcement that it's not personal against him, if he's the clingy sort. My gf is really clingy and that's ok...asking me the who what when where why every time I stand up however had to get nipped...otherwise clingy is ok and can be reasoned with.

Of course I only have two rules; don't lie to me and don't cheat on me...as I give the same respect. Otherwise she's free do whatever the hell she wants to do...I don't want to be a parent and I don't need one either. Even after 3 years she still asks things as if she needs permission because of past controlling people...maybe next time she does that I'll say no just to tease her a bit over it.

I suppose you know how this will go over being with him for 7 years...if you set up the mummy daddy dynamic in your relationship then you're probably stuck in the same room.