Lately, I’ve been thinking that it would be nice to have my own bedroom.

I am happily married, and have been for 7 years. My husband and I get along very well, and have no rifts in the marriage or anything like that. He doesn’t snore, or hog the covers. I’m actually the one who snores! I like to sprawl out across the bed.

But I wonder, how good for the marriage would it be for us to move into separate bedrooms? Also, how would it affect our young daughter to see us sleeping in separate rooms? Would he be offended or hurt by this suggestion (would you?)?

I’ve done some research, and most articles I’ve read seem to indicate that separate sleeping arrangements between married couples can actually be a good thing.

What say you, ATS?

Different strokes and all that, but what does your husband think about this? For me, it would be a deal killer and I'm not convinced by your lighthearted tone about this. Maybe if you're both 80 years old it could make some sense, but seven years into a marriage? That's just sad.

Sleeping in different rooms was how married couples used to sleep, well nobility and upper crust people. Before you do talk to your husband first. You can always do like I used to do work different shifts. Just do what is right for your relationship.

I do question why after only 7 years as well.

For me, I just couldn't imagine it. My hubby snores outrageously some nights. Yes, it's annoying. Apparently, so is my "taking my half out of the middle". But I've learned that when he is not there, I can't sleep. I've tried everything. I wake up immediately if I don't "feel" him.

It may work for you, and I wish you the best. Have you considered a bigger bed? Might be a simple solution.

Originally posted by MojaveBurning
Lately, I’ve been thinking that it would be nice to have my own bedroom.

I am happily married, and have been for 7 years. My husband and I get along very well, and have no rifts in the marriage or anything like that. He doesn’t snore, or hog the covers. I’m actually the one who snores! I like to sprawl out across the bed.

But I wonder, how good for the marriage would it be for us to move into separate bedrooms? Also, how would it affect our young daughter to see us sleeping in separate rooms? Would he be offended or hurt by this suggestion (would you?)?

I’ve done some research, and most articles I’ve read seem to indicate that separate sleeping arrangements between married couples can actually be a good thing.

What say you, ATS?

LOL I noticed you didn't say things were good in the "Bed"...not that it our business but you brought it up.

Separate beds maybe, but separate rooms says you are lying...Either about your relationship, or to your self or you are withholding some facts about your relationship.

Yes, he will be hurt most likely even if he is a good enough man to say sure let's do it. Bedroom time for most couples is time to unwind and have a little pillow talk or re-affirm your marriage.

Maybe it will work for you but you would both really have to agree with it. Or pretty soon it is separate bedrooms, then separate homes, finally separate lives...

My husband and I went for separate bedrooms for a few years due to his snoring. Now he has a sleep apnea machine, but I got so used to the quiet of a separate room, I still wear earplugs.

Now, without the snoring, we're back in the same bed.

I even had to wear the earplugs in the separate room, he was so loud.
He's a long haul truck driver, so he's only home for a couple of days out of the week, or else we would need a king size bed. I move all over the bed when I'm on my own, so the space isn't there when I have to share

In the summer, when truck drivers all have their windows open, the other drivers would wake up and move their trucks away from his

The separate room started out as his idea, because I would kick him when he snored, and neither of us got any sleep.

I can't recommend for anyone else to sleep separate, but it works really good for some people.

Some people cannot take being away from their spouse at night. I've heard from women trying to get away from snoring husbands, that their husband would come and find them to take them back to bed, even when it got so bad the wives were actually hiding from the snorer.

I still want a king size bed though....

I use the same analogy as "fences make good neighbors". Happy relationship here, the other half snores like a freight train though. After ten years, it don't really matter if you share a bedroom or not. Now I have the freedom to pee standing up.

Originally posted by silverflame
Sleeping in different rooms was how married couples used to sleep, well nobility and upper crust people. Before you do talk to your husband first. You can always do like I used to do work different shifts. Just do what is right for your relationship.

True but their marriages were usually political alliances, I doubt very much the OP married hubby for political purposes LOL

As for the OP, If my wife or even GF suggested this Id consider it the end of the relationship, maybe hubby is different and he wont mind

My wife and I sleep in separate beds. Have done all our life.

And one day I'll find that woman, and ask her if she wouldn't mind sleeping in mine.

until that day, separate beds for us...

Not one person has actually mentioned the word sex yet? If you want separate rooms I can imagine that there isn't much of it going on, or you think it might be going on too much and want to curb it a little? What's the situation? Does he want it more often than you do? Are you wanting it more than him?

I would be done with a marriage if my wife wanted a separate room AND there weren't 'relations' on a regular basis.

There's a deeper issue here I think you might be avoiding though, imo.

I see it as healthy in a relationship to sleep in the same bed as your lover. The only relationships I've seen where people sleep in separate beds we're broken families, and they wouldn't even touch eachother. How does sex happen if you aren't in the same bed? It would be weird to just plan a time for sex with someone you love. Falling asleep with someone you love is one of the greatest things ever. Makes waking up to reality so much better.

In my opinion if you are re-thinking sleeping with your partner, you may want to look more into why you want to do that. There is obviously something missing that you need and feel you can get it by being alone? I couldn't imagine not falling asleep next to the love of my life.

Originally posted by jessejamesxx
Not one person has actually mentioned the word sex yet? If you want separate rooms I can imagine that there isn't much of it going on, or you think it might be going on too much and want to curb it a little? What's the situation? Does he want it more often than you do? Are you wanting it more than him?

I would be done with a marriage if my wife wanted a separate room AND there weren't 'relations' on a regular basis.

There's a deeper issue here I think you might be avoiding though, imo.

Actually I did but rather too politely about what was going on in the "Bed"

But yeah I think we have some missing puzzle pieces.

My wife and I might as well have separate beds...as we have a few dogs in there with us that keep us pretty separated, hehe...

We have a King, but still, we also have 4 Chihuahuas, a Lab/Chow mix, and intermittently, a couple of cats in the bed sleeping with us. Ridiculous, I'd agree, but it's what she likes, and I could actually sleep fine even on a bed of nails...vs. the craftmatics.

Seriously though, as long as one of the beds is big enough to get it on when in the mood, I don't see why separate sleep should be an issue. Not like anything is happening while actually sleeping...although....

The honey moon is over eh?

Not sure if it's good or bad, never been married, but I do hate when I start dating a girl and she thinks it'd be a good idea to move in with me.